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RE: 1 master 2 subs - 6/12/2006 1:58:15 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WolfinShadow


Open : wow what can I say about Open relationships , they dont work because its very hard for people to be ... Open ... Sure swinging works , Sure open works for some , I dont want to generalize here but why not just call it room mates? Because otherwise where is the commitment ? whats the point of being with people if you dont experience life through their eyes , with them . Most " open relationships' Are short lived at best , shallow at worst , ok enough dissing.



well dang, i've been part of an open relationship going on 8 years, if that is short lived lol what is long term? and it's not shallow at all. i care for them very much and would be lost with out their friendship. Over the years as things have changed our activity level has fluxuated but that happens in all parts of life.

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(in reply to WolfinShadow)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: 1 master 2 subs - 6/12/2006 3:03:14 PM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy
Why the assumption of brute force, as opposed to a simple reality of a Master's wishes?

Well I'm afraid that reality doesn't go with what the master wishes.  I don't care how awesome a master is in a relationship, if a loved one dies and their slave is mourning their death, no authority in the world can simply say "Stop mourning!" and reasonably expect that to be the healthy end of it.

Oh gee that's getting pretty drastic... now jealousy is like a death in the family with a toggle switch?

quote:

quote:

 That was the original point, a sub/slave agreeing to a nonexclusive relationship is self-defeating their role if they allow themself, or the Master allows them to display jealousy. Unless displays of jealousy are the Masters kink, I don't understand it fitting into the role of pleasing Master.

Because if you repress honest emotions then in the LONG TERM, things break down, become completely infected with pain and it never works.

Now, by "display jealousy" I mean "Master, this really makes me feel jealous" sitting down together and working it out.  NOT passive-aggressive whiny petulant behavior.

My series of comments have been towards jealousy being passive-aggressive whiny pouty petulant competitive vengeful spiteful, etc, etc, etc... NOT about having a fireside chat and working things out by eliminating other subs in an effort to make the relationship more excluse to any given sub/slave to facilitate/accommodate their feelings of jealousy.   

quote:

quote:


I'm eagerly awaiting a further explanation of how jealousy CAN be an unfulfilled need of a sub/slave... how extreme do you have to get to explain that?

In my last relationship, the owner formed a solid expectation of a few phone calls a week.  After a few months, he barely called once a week and still talked to one of his other subs every day.  I was needing to communicate with him and not getting it, and knowing that he HAD the time and energy for it with someoen else made me jealous.

I still accepted it, I didn't say he was bad or wrong for it, but I did get jealous because of it.

OK, you explained how comparing a ratio of a Master's time spent with you versus time assumed to be spent with other subs/slaves was perceived as a need to get more time with the Master... NOT how jealousy itself is or CAN be an unfulfilled need of a sub/slave.

quote:

quote:


Bottom line is that jealousy has no place in nonexclusive relationships, and introducing it regardless of dynamic role is self-defeating.

No, ignoring it or acting like you can just will it away is self-defeating.

Understanding it, communicating it in a mature and healthy way, and working through it is what builds strong relationships.

Sorry but you have your perceptions based on your own individual experience you have quoted, while mine as I said are broad based in terms of the negative behaviors described above being introduced into nonexclusive relationships..

quote:

quote:

 If you don't like the rules of this game, there's another game or two going on down the street...

I've never seen the game end positively with your rules.

Not my rules, not my game either... my comments were simply an illustration that there is more than one Master and his one set of rules, and the sub/slave is free to find a better deal (game) if they didn't find the current one likened to their lifestyle palatte.

I'm sure you haven't watched every single game to see how they each end... awww cumon now!

Good to agree to disagree with you

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: 1 master 2 subs - 6/12/2006 5:09:10 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
Jealousy is an emotion like love, hate, happiness, sadness. It sometimes has no rational source, just like all other emotions.. it just is. It is what we do about negative emotions, not the emotion itself, that defines us as human beings. We are not at the mercy of our emotions if we are mature enough to acknowledge their existence.

Jealousy is a normal emotion that stems from fear of losing the one we adore/love/care for. I have recently learned it is ok for me to be jealous, it isn't ok to be unkind or hostile because I feel this way... But just admitting I feel jealousy at times makes it go away... 

I will not do poly, perhaps I am not a big enough person, perhaps I am petty...  But about the jealousy thing... I recently told the dom I am seeing I felt jealous over something, and his reaction to that "feeling" taught me a lot, it showed me it was okay to feel it, especially because I am not acting upon it...I am glad that I expressed it to him.

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(in reply to NastyDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 23
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