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RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/15/2012 7:38:43 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		That would be a ginormous red flag for me. I feel you should be safe and able to ask your Master anything you need to ask.
quote:

ORIGINAL: aleneb

But I am curious I know I can not ask my Master
quote:



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(in reply to aleneb)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/16/2012 1:08:28 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		You're missing the part where she said he hasn't given her permission to ask questions. She has to wait until he gives her permission to ask questions.


quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

Greetings

Why can you not ask your Master is he mute and and illiterate and unable to sign?


_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/16/2012 1:17:35 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The op is 55, which probably means the dude is about that age also. Honey, he's doing you with toys because he has ED. He's ashamed of admitting it, which is why he won't let you ask any personal questions.

Ask him if he can get a scrip for Viagra, or if he's tried and does it work for him. It doesn't always. If not, tell him to get a pump. Yeah he has to go to the bathroom for a couple of minutes to get ready, but so what?


Or he has a wife and it isn't cheating if he doesn't have intercourse... .



Or, he is fine, does not have ED and is just not that into her.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/16/2012 1:24:47 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I know this has been said a few times on this thread, but I'm going to say it again anyway....

For the love of god, a few weeks into a relationship you can ask what ever fucking questions you like. Indeed when it comes to my sub partners questions are always welcome, whenever.

And while I know that different dominants roll in different ways... the idea that he'd be annoyed at you asking questions, or that he'd actually forbid you, gives me the frikken heebie-jeebies.

Seriously... ask the question. If he reacts badly to you asking, then do your self a favour and bail.

[ET fix typo]


< Message edited by crazyml -- 9/16/2012 1:25:32 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/16/2012 3:08:48 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Wow, if you are sucking a guy's dick, you should be able to ask him whatever you want. Unless you don't care about yourself. Sure, he doesn't have to answer and you are free to refrain from sucking him.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/16/2012 3:25:54 PM   
IamRealAsItGets


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/15/2012
Status: offline 		Who knows? Maybe he's gay. Maybe he's waiting for you to break down and beg him for it. The personal, physical questions - as well as most other questions - should have been asked before the first time you got together with him, in a well-lit public place, to look each other in the eye and consider going further.
If you don't know him well enough to know the answers to the questions you have, then you are not ready to be allowing him access to your body.
It doesn't take that long to have a few discussions, establish boundaries and get clear answers to important questions, and explain what you want out of any potential relationship that may be developing; and, there is no excuse for a dominant not to take the lead and make sure anyone they might be owning or training takes these steps!

(in reply to aleneb)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/16/2012 3:30:42 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aleneb

since I am only into him for the past 4 weeks, we only meet 2x wk, daily assignments and communication. I have not been given permission to ask personal physical questions yet - should I ask when I can ask such a personal question and wait for his permission.


shouldn't you have gotten this all sorted out before you agreed to be in a relationship with him?

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to aleneb)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/20/2012 3:55:14 AM   
lkb0503


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/28/2012
Status: offline 		I am very new with BDSM lifestyle, but even I know to ask about likes/dislikes, ect. I see the red flag too!! I want to join on the front porch too!! Speaking about the Adirondack Chair, do you live near the Adirondack Mountains? just asking, because I do.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/20/2012 1:04:05 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aleneb

since I am only into him for the past 4 weeks, we only meet 2x wk, daily assignments and communication. I have not been given permission to ask personal physical questions yet - should I ask when I can ask such a personal question and wait for his permission.

You mean you haven't asked this guy any personal questions yet and you're already giving him BJs but not getting fucked? Possibilities for him not fucking you and/or not wanting you to ask him personal questions:

1. He's married.

2. He has ED and he's embarrassed about it. You know he can get things for that, right? Viagra, Cialis, Levitra.

3. He's not that into you.

4. He's really gay.

Bottom line, without good communication there can't be a good relationship. I dont know about you, but I want to find out as much as I can about someone before sex starts happening, and that includes oral sex. As for the sexual intercourse thing, both people deserve to get their needs met in a relationship. If your needs aren't being met, why stay?

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to aleneb)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/20/2012 5:44:02 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Or...he has an STD and doesn't want to tell you. I can remember a few years past about a group of bdsm people slept with each other at one point or another and everyone in the group got herpes. Just something to think about.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/22/2012 3:30:39 PM   
soldierlvr


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/14/2012
Status: offline 		I know this has been said....but why the hell can't you ask him questions? Especially if you are new in the lifestyle. When Master and I met it was with the intentions of him becoming my Master (which he did) and I was and still am allowed to ask him questions. I don't question his actions, that is different, but I am allowed to ask questions. Especially when we were only a month into things.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/23/2012 10:46:34 PM   
sassyshunger


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/13/2012
Status: offline
quote:

aleneb


I'm also very new to this experience, and can't understand why you'd agree to submit to a man you can't ask questions of... You have to value yourself, and be able to respect and trust your Dom if you have any hopes of a satisfying relationship. At this point, all you are is an interchangeable vessel for his entertainment. Is that all you're worth?

(in reply to soldierlvr)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 9/24/2012 2:56:24 AM   
nashsub4fun


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/13/2011
Status: offline 		With his age, erectile dysfunction is a real possibility and that may be the reason. We all get to certain age that some things don't work like they used - women included. ASK! ASK! ASK! If you were in a vanilla rather than a D/s relationship, you would ask personal questions so why is this any different. You have a right to know personal information about someone you are getting personal with.

(in reply to aleneb)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 10/1/2012 9:22:57 PM   
alildifferent


Posts: 38
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		I'd like to raise a further suggestion. Maybe he's messing with your head. He certainly seems to be messing with your self esteem. Your already wondering why your not good enough to fuck. There are dominants who'll piss on their subs for a year and whore you out to strangers but won't fuck you. The message such a person is giving you is your not even worthy of his jizz. Another possibility is he's all oral and only gives a rat's arse about HIS pleasure. Your just a sucking tool to him.

(in reply to nashsub4fun)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 10/8/2012 11:07:20 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

has this ever happened to another sub?

Yes.



Peace and comfort,



Michael


Yes I am facing a similar problem although I must not be as polite because I flat out asked if he was impotent/couldn't get excited by non-dom interaction (not during play or even when he was really exerting control but more of a cuddly "vanilla" moment). I did not ask about his disease panel because I asked that & proof when we first explored whether we were looking for the same things, and if we were compatible in other areas.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 10/8/2012 11:17:01 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14415
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nashsub4fun

With his age, erectile dysfunction is a real possibility and that may be the reason.


If he's really getting an STD screening every three months, then I tend to think that isn't the case.


_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to nashsub4fun)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 10/8/2012 3:05:49 PM   
ivone1


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		your how old again.... maybe he has ed or something else going on in his life that prevents intercourse... which btw has nothing to do with s/m .... everyone can have intercourse .....

as for not being able to ask personal questions of him... fuck that.... if your giving bj's and such you best damn well know whats going on in his personal life as well as his private life
that is of course that he is married and cheating on his wife... now that would explain it ....

some people never cease to amaze me when it comes to bdsm...its like their senses flies right out the window...

talk to him about it ... communication .... number one... communication... know the person and his life before spending emotional time with them... gesss is that so hard

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 10/8/2012 3:13:49 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlipSlidingAway

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleneb

I recently joined a Master to reacquaint me to the lifestyle. He is teaching me slowly. He does offer affection and caresses and slight massages after my punishments. I have my assignments & I have my rewards. But the rewards have not been with him actually in my pussy. He uses his toys (very elaborate toys!) I have given him bj. But he does not physically perform on me except with devices. I have never had a Dom in this manner before, but I am still a beginner returning to the lifestyle so I am grateful that he is patient and trusting. But I am curious I know I can not ask my Master but if other subs could help me figure him out. Anxious to more forward. How long should I give him to find out? I know as a sub I must serve his needs first and be obedient in his training and his desires.


Why can't you ask your master?  He's the only one that can tell you if you and he are going to have intercourse eventually or not.  At best, everyone else would be speculating.  We don't know you or him...


I don't speculate.

I know everything.

(in reply to SlipSlidingAway)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 10/15/2012 11:03:52 PM   
daddyzbashfulone


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2012
Status: offline 		wow, And my question was going to be Why do they call it "Training" .... I even think I posted in my profile I never shut up... I love asking questions and listening to fun "stories"... YOUR DOM WOULD HAVE KICKED ME TO THE CURB BY NOW IF HE'S NOT INTO QUESTIONS, THEN IF I'M TOLD I CAN'T ASK PERSONAL INFO... HAHAHAHA ... THAT REALLY GETS MY JUICES FLOWING !! Girl you need to tell him to Smack you back into reality and Fast.

Kisses

I will bring the Lemonade for the front porch meeting.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: has this ever happened to another sub? - 10/15/2012 11:08:56 PM   
daddyzbashfulone


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2012
Status: offline 		She's been sucking him off so this doesn't seen to be his problem. I do hope she's will let us know what happens. He seems a little selfish and she's going to have to "rethink" what it is she is really being trained for.

(in reply to nashsub4fun)
Profile   Post #: 80
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