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needlesandpins -> RE: Why do people ignore mails (10/10/2012 6:36:40 AM)
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ORIGINAL: descrite
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To expect a complete stranger you've never met to respond to your advances stinks of an overblown sense of entitlement. They don't know him, clearly they don't want to know him, and quite possibly the mail has went straight to the bulk folder anyway
Harlan Ellison responds to all his fan mail. Piers Anthony does, too. Orson Scott Card employs someone to help him in the effort. I remember my little brother getting a signed photo from Barbara Feldon when we were kids.
No disrespect intended, but are you saying that the person whose sole accomplishments are being subby and owning a twat is someone less obliged to respond to admirers?
I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word "entitlement." Someone who thinks so little of the admiration of others, someone who expects the offers to continue pouring in, even when they are negligently rude after having invited the attention, that is the person who has a sense of entitlement.
Bound-- I said it before: just hide your profile. Your profile is an explicit (not even tacit!) invitation for communication; by failing to respond, you're basically telling men to audition for you, then ignoring their performance when they do. That's a shitty thing to do to anyone.
Another solution: include this on your profile-- "Sorry...I'm overwhelmed by messages at the moment, and I'm looking for something specific. If you're not [in the area/over 6'0"/hung like a musk ox], please don't send me a message right now." Then feel free to ignore the ones that don't meet the criteria and response anyway. At least then they'll have an idea why you ignored them. Fair?
Man...that idea is bugging me. Who has so much attention that they can spurn some more? I have replied to every message anyone has ever sent me, here, FL, Facebook, OKCupid...be they attractive, in my region, or even the wrong gender. I'm always flattered when someone has something nice to say about me, and took the time to tell me. That takes guts, to initiate that communication. I respect the hell out of anyone who does that, and respond in kind.
here's what you seriously need to know; You are not a Woman. hence you have no idea how much mail we get.
now my profile very clearly tells everyone that i am here for the forums, and just don't bother because i ain't interested no matter how amazing you think you are. i still get tons of mail a month, all expecting me to reply.
now, i do not have to hide my profile, and i certainly don't want to. why the hell should i just to suit some whining arsehole?
just because you are the way you are doesn't mean that everyone else has to be. nore does it mean that you get to be the profile police telling everyone else what they should, or shouldn't do.
men need to show a damn sight more respect, and some fricking imagination! cut/paste....ignore, random twat asking about my sex life....ignore, random moron that can't read, and respect what is there.....depending on mood.....sarcasm, snark....ignore, asking for anything of me, do i want anything of them.......ignore.
in fact the only mail i always respond to is mail from someone on here if it needs it, or someone paying me a compliment.
also, if you really do answer every single last piece of mail you get through the door then serioiusly, you need to get off of your computor, and get a real life outside with real people. any crap coming through my door that i didn't ask for is put in the bin.
lastly; You are not a Female, therefore you have no idea just how much mail we get, or the abuse if we say thank, but no thanks.
needles
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