Screening as an independent professional

Screening as an independent professional (Full Version)

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TheLilSquaw -> Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:22:40 AM)
I have been an independent professional switch for some time now. I am always curious how other professionals screen their clients. What safety precautions do you take when setting up a session? Do you require references? Do you require work information? Ect. Cautionary tales you wish to share? Me I simply require them to follow simple steps which include answering basic questions, sending a face photo, and their first name. I then will do a search on sites like CM and Fet to see if they have accounts there and if / how they post and interact with others. I don't require references or work contact information.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:25:02 AM)
LilSquaw, I'd be interested to know how you keep yourself safe in situations where you are pro-subbing. I know that most of the risks and pitfalls would be the same for pro dommes and pro subs, but there's obviously an extra layer of risk if you were allowing a client to tie you up or inflict pain upon you. Is there a difference in the screening or the precautions you take when subbings vs domming?

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:32:54 AM)
Athena, When I do a session as a pro sub I have a DM present. He is aware of the negotiated and agreed upon session. Before the session begins I go over the agreed upon session with the client one last time, I choose a safe word and non-verbal signal that I will use. If at any time the DM sees a deviation in the agreed upon session he stops it immediately. If he sees or hears the safe word or non-verbal signal used and the client isn't respecting it he steps in. If the DM has to step in the sessions ends. This is something they are made aware of before booking as well as before the session begins. There are some who don't like the idea of a DM present during sessions, that's fine. They can book a session else where. This is something that is non-negotiable for me. I do a lot of session as a pro sub and many of my clients are new to the scene and want to experiment and learn in a safe, discreet environment. I typically don't have a DM present when I am doing a pro dom session.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:37:31 AM)
That makes sense. Do you charge extra for the presence of the DM? Do you find it harder to negotiate sub scenes or to keep them on track? I've heard many pro-dommes speak of the clients expecting a very specific scene because they are paying for it and hence feel entitled to exactly what they want. I could only guess that as a pro-sub you might come across people who feel that because they are the dom AND they are paying, they have the right to push or shift the rules. Or am I just being overly suspicious? I know this thread is in 'Ask a Mistress' so I hope I'm not derailing it. I just have a lot more questions about pro-subbing because it doesn't come up nearly as much.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:38:55 AM)
I require I.D. which is commonly held by the person I bring with me. I do background checks before hand, after we have talked at least twice. And I carry a gun now.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:48:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders That makes sense. Do you charge extra for the presence of the DM? Even if am simply a pro sub in a foot worship session, which is one I do often. My DM is present. Do you find it harder to negotiate sub scenes or to keep them on track? I've heard many pro-dommes speak of the clients expecting a very specific scene because they are paying for it and hence feel entitled to exactly what they want. I could only guess that as a pro-sub you might come across people who feel that because they are the dom AND they are paying, they have the right to push or shift the rules. Or am I just being overly suspicious? I know this thread is in 'Ask a Mistress' so I hope I'm not derailing it. I just have a lot more questions about pro-subbing because it doesn't come up nearly as much. Yes, my rates are different for when I do sessions as a pro sub vs a pro dom, simply because I have the DM. I don't think one is easier or harder to negotiate than the other. The biggest issue with many who want to book a session with a prosub is they assume their will "sexual" contact when in fact I am NEVER nude even when doing sessions as a pro sub. I've never had anyone try to shift the rules, but if I have had someone try and change the session mid session, which quickly ended the session. I've known a few prosubs over the years, granted the majority worked in lifestyle clubs, which I did for a time. There are also not that many male pros but there are a few and I've meet some wonderful ones.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:49:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain I require I.D. which is commonly held by the person I bring with me. I do background checks before hand, after we have talked at least twice. And I carry a gun now. You carry a gun with you to sessions? I'm gonna assume you have a license to carry a concealed weapon.

kalikshama -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:54:17 AM)
I pro-subbed out of a dungeon where most of the clients were for pro dommes. Ms. V did all the screening and kept it very short - no lengthy phone call or email exchanges. She'd make it clear that there was no sex and then give him the address. Most of my clients were complete noobs who didn't have any particular scene in mind, other than some spanking. I'd show him around the dungeon, which had various themed rooms - schoolroom, doctor's office, and a few dungeony rooms and if his imagination wasn't particularly triggered, hand him a very soft flogger than would wear him out before it hurt me. If his aim proved accurate, I'd graduate him to a heavier flogger. I don't think any of these guys had time (or perhaps inclination) for any of the bondage equipment during our hour, which went by very quickly what with the tour and the Flogging 101 talk.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 7:59:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama I pro-subbed out of a dungeon where most of the clients were for pro dommes. Ms. V did all the screening and kept it very short - no lengthy phone call or email exchanges. She'd make it clear that there was no sex and then give him the address. Most of my clients were complete noobs who didn't have any particular scene in mind, other than some spanking. I'd show him around the dungeon, which had various themed rooms - schoolroom, doctor's office, and a few dungeony rooms and if his imagination wasn't particularly triggered, hand him a very soft flogger than would wear him out before it hurt me. If his aim proved accurate, I'd graduate him to a heavier flogger. I don't think any of these guys had time (or perhaps inclination) for any of the bondage equipment during our hour, which went by very quickly what with the tour and the Flogging 101 talk. I loved working at a dungeon but sadly there aren't any local to me not the one you describe or the one I worked at in LA or Vegas.

kalikshama -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 8:01:39 AM)
Ya, I felt very safe. I like your model of having a DM there. Where is "there" - what kind of space are you using?

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 8:03:04 AM)
I have a dungeon in my home. ETA: I've mentored several young pro dommes and I was always present during their sessions, acting as a DM.

RumpusParable -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/29/2012 11:34:51 PM)
I speak to them online first, usually, then if they seem not creepy or assholes or not wanting something I'm not interested in I arrange a vanilla meeting to screen them someplace safe and public. i talk to them for about an hour and see what vibes I get from them. If all still seems good, I go home think on it to let the meeting bounce around in my brain, then decide if I want to do a session with them. If so, we arrange what and where and they have to agree that I will have a bodyguard with me and he will able to access the room that the client and I are in.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/30/2012 5:50:41 AM)
RumpusParable, When you meet them in a vanilla setting do they pay for your time? Do they treat you for lunch or coffee ect? I've never meet in a vanilla setting but I know a few pros who if they do they require the same tribute as for the sessions plus the client foots the bill for the meal. Slight Highjack.. I love your profile pics.

MariaB -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/30/2012 6:24:48 AM)
When I was a pro Domme, for the most part it was within a co-operative. This meant there was a receptionist and other people around. We had a maid who just happened to be a very burly well dressed T-girl. Money was never handled by the domme but by the receptionist and the domme was always expected to leave the dungeon room before the client. We also had a panic button in the dungeons. Nobody was vetted but we did work within a system where a full description of a dodgy or suspicious customer was passed around to other pro dommes. The thing about clients that go to see pro dommes or pro subs is, they want absolute discretion. I don't think a high court judge is going to agree to show you his ID or agree to provide references. Going out for a drink or a meal doesn't always work. Away from pro Domming I once went out with a male sub who I was interested in for a personal relationship. We had two meals together over the course of a ten days and spoke daily on the phone. Once alone with me and whilst showing him my dungeon, he took it upon himself to use my tools on me. He not only beat me up but claimed he was going to kill my cats which I whole heartedly believed. Sociopaths/psycopaths are the masters of manipulation. My intuition is pretty astute but this man had me completely taken in.

RumpusParable -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/30/2012 8:22:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw RumpusParable, When you meet them in a vanilla setting do they pay for your time? Do they treat you for lunch or coffee ect? I've never meet in a vanilla setting but I know a few pros who if they do they require the same tribute as for the sessions plus the client foots the bill for the meal. Slight Highjack.. I love your profile pics. Thanks! Yes, I charge a small screening fee. Non-refundable, pre-paid $50 to have a vanilla screening with me.

StrictlyADomina -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/30/2012 5:25:11 PM)
I don't' meet potential submissives unless they have a police background check completed. If they are serious they get it done. Even with this completed I always meet them either through a BDSM club over a period of time or meet them in a public place with friends. You try to be safe and take as many precautions as you can. There is a word for women who don't take necessary precautions meeting potential submissives. The word is victim.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/31/2012 2:40:40 AM)
This is a really interesting thread, I've enjoyed a little peek into someone else's world. StrictlyADomina - what are the procedures for police checks where you are? Here it isn't something you can just request as a private citizen, it has to come through an employer or organisation. It also only shows convictions and not cases where you might have been accused or a person of interest. While in general that's a good thing because false accusations do happen, a great deal of sexual offences never get to conviction, and a person might have a clean criminal records check even though they've been investigated for rape on three seperate occasions.

MariaB -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/31/2012 4:25:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrictlyADomina I don't' meet potential submissives unless they have a police background check completed. If they are serious they get it done. Even with this completed I always meet them either through a BDSM club over a period of time or meet them in a public place with friends. You try to be safe and take as many precautions as you can. There is a word for women who don't take necessary precautions meeting potential submissives. The word is victim. Do you mean a Basic Disclosure ? I would consider a basic disclosure a waste of time because all it gives you is unspent convictions. A Standard or Enhanced Disclosure can not be applied for by anyone other than the relevant authorities. These authorities are institutions that work with children or those considered vulnerable. The problem with a Basic Disclosure is, it can be open to corruption if applied for by the person wishing to divulge any criminal background check. A Basic Disclosure should always be done by the employer (in your case the pro Domme) and it should be you that takes copies of his driving license/passport/ID card. Then of course there is the time wait which can be anything up to 2 weeks. Why on earth would you ask a client for a full name? I know literally hundreds of pro Dommes and this is a first. I've never heard of this before.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/31/2012 6:06:16 AM)
To finds out if someone has a criminal background, all you really needs is their full name and birthday. I've done that a few times not for screening a potential client but a potential partner. Lol

StrictlyADomina -> RE: Screening as an independent professional (12/31/2012 8:56:46 AM)
@ Athena - Yes any private citizen can request their own records checks, there are some online checks that are better than others. For those who live in Texas you can set up an account and pay for the one time use or by the month to view arrest records. Texas is of the opinion that they are public records and thus available to the public. In this I see Texas as progressive, every state should have this system. Here is the link: https://records.txdps.state.tx.us/DpsWebsite/CriminalHistory/ You can easily search for sexual predators by name and by state. A simple google search will pull that up. Yes, it is true that incest conviction rates are less than 10 percent of reported incidents and many sexual perpetrators of for whatever reason are not convicted at a high rates. Insisting on a records check is better than nothing by a long shot. Why more women don't do it simply astounds me. I can only think that most suffer from the belief that "it won't happen to me" or want to believe whatever bullshit falls out of the male's mouth. If he refuses a records check, honey you need to drop him like a rock. For the males reading this yes I don't mind doing a records check either, I am more than happy to disclose the speeding ticket I got two years ago. Be advised that recent research is demonstrating a statistical link between animal cruelty, domestic violence, child abuse and incest: http://www.aspca.org/fight-animal-cruelty/domestic-violence-and-animal-cruelty.aspx lest you think that it is just "fluffy pet lovers" making this claim it there are a couple of more links: http://cops.usdoj.gov/html/dispatch/March_2010/domestic_violence.htm and https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/188677.pdf. So be alerted if this shows up in the reports. These are crimes are committed the bulk of the time by males. Yes sometimes by females but statistically the overwhelming numbers are males doing this. This is not a problem that is easy to fix. They simply like and enjoy doing this. Who wants to stop doing things that they like and feel that there is nothing wrong in doing?. Years of group therapy are generally needed to resolve these issues, not a simple "I gave that up" statement. Which they rarely make anyway. They simply deny, minimize, lie and blame the "system" or the "woman". Simply stated stupid women believe this and get involved with them. So what are the rates for domestic violence? Well it's 25% of women will experience this so that means there are a nice percent of males doing this. Here's the link: http://www.dvrc-or.org/domestic/violence/resources/C61/ It's like rolling a dice, roll it enough and your number will come up. Do your homework take extra precautions and don't be a victim, @ Maria----I'm not a pro-dom, I'm lifestyle. So the dynamics are a little different. ************************************** Your mileage may vary

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