Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slave in the US? Thoughs..?

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Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slave in... - 12/30/2012 4:45:09 AM

ccc3333

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline

Just wanted everyone's thoughts on how Collarme stacks up on effectiveness and function.

I have a fetlife profile and i find it almost impossible to find anyone on there , they don't have a search or anything.

Thoughts everyone :)

C

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 4:46:39 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Although not american, I did find my Master on this site, as well as some great fet friends.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 4:49:12 AM

ccc3333

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline

One for Collarme:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Although not american, I did find my Master on this site, as well as some great fet friends.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 4:56:45 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
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I have found that it is no better than anywhere else including "vanilla" dating sites. As a female, every site I have had a profile I got bombarded by messages. I agree about the no search on fet, but given the layout, I have a feeling that a dating site was not the intention...

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 5:09:02 AM

ccc3333

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

I have found that it is no better than anywhere else including "vanilla" dating sites. As a female, every site I have had a profile I got bombarded by messages. I agree about the no search on fet, but given the layout, I have a feeling that a dating site was not the intention...

It doesn't make sense, why this isn't as effective as plenty of fish is.... plenty of fish i find is super effective for me. Especially in an area like LA, there are probably 200 or so females in LA right now that i can search that fit my criteria... i think the userbase here just needs to be grown... i suppose marketing is an issue here....

Chris

Ps- i work in the tech industry and i see a few positions they should be leveraging on this site to make more money.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 6:00:17 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

CM has worked well for me when I've used it for meeting others.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 6:05:40 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

PoF is a younger crowd hook-up site, while most others have a larger variety of people looking for a relationship. I find the demographics associated with each site to be amusing, I just take all of this with a huge spoonful of salt. Though I do browse through both types of profiles, I find that on all of them, men outnumber women and that the free sites keep ghost profiles to keep up their numbers... With the majority of those profiles being women that haven't been active for a while.. just an observation mind you, none of this fact.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 6:09:16 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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OP, you're thinking of this as a linear process using a single site to find a profile, initiate contact, and then meet. I don't.

My preferred method is to use fetlife to find local groups. Then I show up to those groups and simply meet people. Doms, subs, switches, males, females. The gamut. If I like chatting with a suitable prospect, I get her cm or fet usename and check out her profile.

Just under two years ago, I was at a spanking party. I met, chatted with, and played with a lady, and got her fet name. We dated, and she's now my sub. It worked for me!

Before that, I met a lovely submissive this way who was vivacious, attractive, intelligent, with a great sense of humor. I checked out her fet profile and saw she was heavily into bloodplay and needles, both on my hard limits list, and suspension bondage, beyond my skill level. So... no go. Resolved quickly and cleanly.

One of several great things about the meet-'em-and-then-check-them-out method is that the community itself can provide matchups. If I were available right now, I know several available subs. I also have a few Doms who are untaken who I keep an eye out for.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 6:59:19 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
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I've never met anyone from here-not a single one. Not once. Never even gotten a reply to an email.
Woe is me

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 7:22:12 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

I have meet several prior partners on CM in a round about way I meet my current partner through CM.
I had a journal entry for a local videographer. A local photographer gave me contact information for a one. We never worked together, at the time he only used black women. We are now involved in serious relationship.

I have meet a handful of people who booked pro sessions with me of CM.
I have meet a video slave off CM
I have meet many friends off CM.
I have had great conversations here as well.

I meet my best friend off tagged, not a kinky social network but still a social network.
Heck meet more kinky folks on tagged locally than on CM and Fet combined.
Go figure.

I've realized certain medias simply don't work for me.
Example, although many producers find models on fetlife for fetish work.
Personally, I've found more models for my fetish work on backpage.
Perhaps it's because I am not looking for the "model" type but real people who want to do real seasons on camera.
So I don't look for models there anymore.

I don't think any less of fetlife as a whole, I simply realized that medium doesn't work for ME.

We get into social media sites / dating sites what we put into them.
I also don't look at CM as a "dating site" but as a social media site.
Perhaps that is where I differ from many people.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 12/30/2012 7:24:31 AM >

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 7:34:15 AM

bossman777

Posts: 65
Joined: 11/25/2011
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I have had several long term friendships grow out of meetings I had from craigslist, but none from this site. I think CM probably offers a serious girl plenty of options to choose from, but for men, there are just not enough seriously kinky girls to go 'round. There are tons who want to discuss getting kinky, but few who really will meet.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 7:43:46 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
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... kind of a self-selecting group wouldn't you say?...

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 7:58:21 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Fetlife isn't intended to be a dating site, so it's made to be difficult to look for a partner there. Which is something I LOVE about it. Males who do try to pick me up there get at nicest ignored, at rudest... well, cursing is involved.

Here is the best place I've found as far as BDSM-oriented sites to find partners. Good search, lots of people, message system works well, etc.

Doesn't mean good partners are easy to find, just that this place has a good setup and availability compared to others, IMO. Finding a good match out of all the bad matches is largely luck where ever one is.

I also use vanilla and kink-friendly dating sites, but CM has really been best over-all in finding me play and power-exchange partners (outside of meeting folks actually in real life... I'm just talking about the options on the internet here).

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 8:10:37 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Fet is specifically designed *not* to be a dating site. There is no a/s/l type searches. It is designed so that people can find events and groups rather than individuals. When we moved here (from CA) a year and a half ago, I used Fet to get in touch with the community in the closest city.

The move before that (from GA to CA) I had contacted people from before we even got there. (Met people along the way during the cross country drive, too.) These were people from the forums that I had wanted to meet because I had gotten to know them through discussions here. I still used Fet to find lifestyle groups.

I've lost count of how many people I've met from CM. I never even made the attempt to keep track from Fet.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 8:28:21 AM

aldorax

Posts: 39
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: MD/DC/VA
Status: offline

I think local networking (ie munches, online groups, local BDSM associations) probably is the best way to explore the local community and find likeminded folks with desired kinky tendencies. But your success also is dependent on the region/city you're in --- sites like CM or FL are handy pointers toward those groups, and then you can network/search all you want.

But in terms of meeting kinky people via CM and seeing where things might go, I can't really say .... I'm fairly new here.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 9:24:01 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

~FR~

FetLife is great for finding local people and events. That site definitely has the advantage for that. I've met some great people through the site, including one who acted as a demo bottom for me during a presentation, but no one I would consider dating. I've met a dozen or so people from CollarMe, including three play partners. I also found my Kitty here and he's amazing and wonderful.

Success rate for both sites is relative and depends largely on what you're looking for and what your expectations are.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 9:44:47 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

I happened to find my male partner here on CM and its been working out pretty well so far. It takes time and effort, but all has not been in vain. For me, its a hell of a lot easier to just get the information that I am not a 'nilla out there from the start here than it is to be on a site like POF. I have a Fet profile, but its mostly to get info on local gatherings. And since I get email notification when events Im interested in come up, I rarely log on otherwise.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 10:07:16 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

The Los Angeles community is HUGE! Honestly, I think the best way for you to find somebody would be to get out and start attending the events.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 10:37:13 AM

Pyramus

Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
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quote:

in an area like LA, there are probably 200 or so females in LA right now that i can search that fit my criteria...

199 of which are fake.

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RE: Is Collarme . com the best place to find a Sub/Slav... - 12/30/2012 10:42:09 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus

quote:

in an area like LA, there are probably 200 or so females in LA right now that i can search that fit my criteria...

199 of which are fake.

Honestly, LA has a ton of events and a large community. If you attend you'll meet tons real people.

Bitching about the fakes on a website when you live in the LA area is like bitching about the driving experience of "Need for Speed" while you have a Ferarri parked in the driveway.

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