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SylvereApLeanan -> RE: How to approach (2/19/2013 10:36:37 AM)
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~FR~
Oh my goodness, aren't you just adorable? Almost as cute as my Kitty. [:)] He's about the same age as you are, btw, and also enjoys pet play/cross-dressing, so you two have some things in common.
Okay, here are my suggestions for you with examples of what worked for me and Kitty.
First of all, I suggest tweaking your profile a bit. It's not bad, but you've got some punctuation errors such as commas where periods should be. I would also suggest picking a different color scheme that's easier to read. Attention to little details like these can make or break you when you're competing against dozens of other guys for the limited number of dominant women on this site.
Also, your profile seemed heavily sex- and kink-focused to me. I suggest rewriting it a bit to include more of your vanilla interests and what you have to offer a prospective dominant. Fill out your interests list. That's the only mention of your kinks you need to have unless there's something you enjoy that isn't on the list. My Kitty's profile mentions his love of RPGs and his skills with cooking, sewing, and building computers. He also mentions what he likes about D/s relationships, such as his distaste for the "on ur knees nao, bytch!" style of domination and his preference for a partner who approaches dominance from a place of inner strength and confidence. A good profile will eliminate the need for the section of your email about who you are and what you're looking for. If you get someone's attention, they'll check out your profile. Trust me.
As LP mentioned, make sure you read the profiles you contact and make sure you're a match. Look at the Lives For/Loves and Hard Limits sections to make sure you don't have anything they Live For on your Hard Limits list and vice versa. If someone contacts me who's into diaper play or watersports, that's an automatic "hell no." It also tells me they didn't bother to read my profile because I have both on my list of hard limits. I also suggest reading journals because they'll give you insight into the person/couple as well.
LP also suggests a polite question about something you read in the profile. That's a great idea and exactly what my Kitty did to get my attention. He asked what I thought about a vanilla interest we share and didn't mention kink AT ALL. Instead, he approached me like someone he might like to have a conversation with as a friend. We didn't talk about kink until after we'd exchanged several email messages. His messages stood out because he was the only one of the dozens of people who messaged me who wasn't focused on his fetishes.
Hope this helps. Best of luck!
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