Doms Are Totally Clueless

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Doms Are Totally Clueless

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Introductions] >> Introduce yourself >> Doms Are Totally Clueless

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:13:51 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline

This is for all the newcomers and "Doms" out there from an intelligent "sub" who has a solid sense of self and is very assertive as a business owner and in her daily life

I'm new to this board and community, but I'm certainly not naive or stupid. I'm in awe of the arrogance and stupidity of men who call themselves "Doms" who respond to a submissive's ad with an immediate, "Submit, slave." Or, "You don't get to make demands. If you do, this is not the lifestyle for you." Those responses indicate ignorance and sadistic assholes looking to abuse someone.

As a sub, I ABSOLUTELY have the right to make "demands" in terms of what I want from a Daddy/Dom. First all, a true Dom KNOWS that he has to EARN his right to be with a sub and make demands of HER as that relationship is based on trust and respect. I find that the subs that get "dogged" are the ones that don't have standards and they have low self esteem. Not having any standards and believing what every "Dom" tells you (i.e, you don't get to make demands; you do as I say) is a recipe for sadism, abuse and neglect.

So I just want to say to subs on here that you DO have the right to make a list of what you want in a Dom. If the man that wants to be your Dom does not fit your "Dom Plan" reject him - don't make exceptions either. Also, I don't respond to men who call themselves "Master" and call me "Slave" when clearly my ad does not ask for a "Master" and clearly doesn't say I want to be a "Slave" but rather a sub.

If they really knew what they were doing or talking about, they wouldn't confuse the two. They also would be intelligent enough to not even respond to my ad because they know that they don't match my requirements!

By the way, as soon as a "Dom" violates your boundaries, kick his ass out the door! This is coming from a newbie who reads a lot of forums and horror stories in the BDSM community and someone who understands human nature and the art of manipulation!

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:18:07 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Wow. Simmer down. And welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:21:15 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

In all fairness to the wonderful Dominant men out there, you should really change the title
of this thread to Doms that YOU have come across are totally clueless.
I am also an intelligent submissive with an incredible amount of self worth, yet in my two plus
years of being on this site, I've only been contacted by a small amount of clueless people.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:21:22 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline

Simmer down? I don't think so. Some of you "Doms" need to be put in your place.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:23:16 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

OK, while I can truly understand where you're coming from because I've had to deal with a lot of bullshit it just doesn't do any good to get all worked up over it. As DarkSteven says "simmer down" and stick around the forums where most of the people have a clue of what the lifestyle and relationships are all about.

Welcome.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:25:03 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Lady, I don't need anyone to put me in my place. Got it?

You've got one helluva chip on your shoulder. This section is for introductions. Tell us a bit about you. Instead, you launched into a diatribe against what you refer to as "Doms".

They're not Doms. They're assholes who think that calling themselves Doms entitles them to easy sex.

Sit down, and read some of the other posts. Get to know some people who think that the lifestyle means something, that we have the obligation to earn respect through our words and deeds.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:27:50 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

After having read your profile, and some of the websites your photo
links to, I'd like to change the suggested title of this thread from
"Doms that YOU have come across are totally clueless" to
"How To Write A Profile To Attract Clueless Doms".

You're welcome.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:34:39 AM

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

<Sarcasm Font>I'm so happy that we've finally found someone who can tell those with decades of rl experience what we're doing wrong.<Sarcasm Font Off>

In all seriousness. Maybe those that you have attracted aren't Doms. Maybe they're also clueless newbies who beat off under the covers to "Slavegirls of Gor" and hope their mom doesn't catch them.

When you paint with an all-inclusive brush, you can expect to be called on it.

Maybe you should become a bit more introspective and ask yourself why you attract losers.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to poise)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:38:14 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Lisha, you are preaching to the choir here.

If you stick around and read the forums you'll see that just about no one here believes all subs should obey instantly whenever a self-proclaimed dom yells 'on your knees'. The profile side contains a lot of wankers who are just looking for some cyber, or, as you say, clueless people who forget that subs/women on the internet are still people.

But the forums are largely a different crowd - we're a much smaller group, a lot of us aren't even looking for partners, and we tend to have a more realistic view. Coming in here spouting off isn't helpful because those people who are bugging you will never read it - they don't want to engage in conversations and discussions, so they never bother coming here. Occasionally one will wander in, spout some nonsense, get called on it and flounce out. That's all.

You only just joined and you are clearly very worked up. If you are going to take it personally maybe this isn't the site for you, because as a newly joined female you can expect a large share of crap emails for a while, while all those horny net geeks see you as fresh meat. If it upsets you, you are in for a rough ride.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:40:08 AM

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

First of all, welcome Lisha.

It seems that you may have been burned by some of the insta-Doms on this site. That is sad. Truly it is.

But I have bad news for you - apparently some low-life has stolen your profile pic and used in in multiple locations across the interwebz.

Heaven forbid someone might take your pic (and let's face it, you're an attractive looking woman!) and use it on a pornographic website. That would be low. Real low.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:41:45 AM

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

What you did is analogous to walking into church and screaming and yelling at all the nice folks for being the sinners outside.

Welcome to CM! You certainly made a bang when you kicked open the door.

< Message edited by DomMeinCT -- 3/3/2013 9:51:40 AM >

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:41:46 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline

Hi Poise: We'll have to agree to disagree. Unfortunately, I've come across a lot more clueless ones in the very short time I've been on here and on other forums and sites. I post clearly what I want in my ads and I get people responding who clearly didn't get the memo or didn't bother to read it. They post the most idiotic things and don't even come close to what I've asked for - especially physically. Are you kidding?

If I ask for a Daddy/Dom that's 5'10, 140 pounds, well-groomed white male, business owner (like myself as I don't want anyone leeching off me) in his mid 30s and a fat, ugly old "Dom" responds to my ad who calls me his "slave" and who calls himself "Master" and tells me to "submit" in his first email, is 5'4, 200 pounds, looks disgusting, is a construction worker, is black, hispanic or anything else that I didn't ask for, or only fits ONE requirement out of all of the other 10 requirements, tells me they are retarded for responding to an ad for which they clearly don't qualify.

It's a turnoff. I think there are more clueless "Doms" than true ones. I don't really have the patience for arrogance, ignorance and stupidity. I never did. Either come right, or don't come at all. That's all I'm saying. I'm sure my posts will turn off many so called "Doms" but it's better to weed out the idiots and get fewer, quality responses, than to be flooded with mentally and physically challenged "Doms."

< Message edited by Lisha333 -- 3/3/2013 9:43:34 AM >

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:52:21 AM

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

First of all, welcome Lisha.

It seems that you may have been burned by some of the insta-Doms on this site. That is sad. Truly it is.

But I have bad news for you - apparently some low-life has stolen your profile pic and used in in multiple locations across the interwebz.

Heaven forbid someone might take your pic (and let's face it, you're an attractive looking woman!) and use it on a pornographic website. That would be low. Real low.

You are ever so helpful and sweet to let her know someone has stolen her pics!

Oh, welcome op!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:52:22 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline

I appreciate all of the responses. Truly. I just came off a site called Little Subs...something like that, and it was horrific the way the website owner described hers and other people's plights with "Doms." There's a specific section for all the stories where subs got dogged. I was so angry. Also, this woman who had "decades" of "experience" kept touting that neither I nor any other sub had the right to have standards or make demands or have boundaries. That's ludicrous.

DarkSteven: I didn't say I had to put YOU in your place.

No, I haven't been burned at all, as I am too smart to get into any of these "relationships" before I get to know someone. I'm attracting some really nice ones too, but again, I have to get to know them before I start assigning wonderful attributes to them. But I'm just truly amazed at the ignorance. Okay, so I'll simmer down now. Thank you for the welcome and I look forward to reading a lot of what's on here.

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:54:38 AM

Posts: 52
Joined: 10/3/2012
Status: offline

You know, just because they don't fit *your* requirements, doesn't make someone "mentally and physically challenged". That's a ridiculous statement, that could be rather offensive, depending on how it was applied.

"You're physically challenged because you're not white."
"You're mentally challenged because you've chosen to become a construction worker instead of own a business."

See where I'm going with that?

Welcome, though....

< Message edited by piccante -- 3/3/2013 9:56:39 AM >

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:55:52 AM

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Come have fun with us and join in the message boards.
There's mostly no blood drawn (beware Religion and Politics) and you'll get to meet people you're sure to like.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:57:49 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Lisha, I apologize for having bristled at you.

When I read your profile, it kinda confuses me. It sounds like you're looking for a blend of indulging Daddy Dom and a submissive man. You might try looking into the Daddy Dom dynamic and see if it works for you.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to piccante)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 9:58:16 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline

DomMeinCT: Thanks for the welcome.

Poise: I don't know what sites you say I'm linked to, but I know what sites I'm linked to that I purposely linked to that don't indicate I want an asshole.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 10:00:01 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline

Hi DarkSteven: It's okay:) No, I'm not looking for a submissive man (not even in the least).

(in reply to Lisha333)

RE: Doms Are Totally Clueless - 3/3/2013 10:51:21 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Hi Lisha, seems like you may have your panties in a bundle- that's what we said where I grew up, lol. I'm glad you settled down a bit, it's always a negative thing to approach groups of human beings with a broad concept, because many of the innocents get thrown under the bus as well as the ones who should be there. Think of it from your own point of view...it always stinks when someone starts off by drawing a large group that you happen to be part of, and then says that the whole group has their heads up their asses because their mother dresses them funny - or whatever variation on that is spouted. Yeah, hurts doesn't it when you KNOW that your mother took great care in dressing you every day! So you get the drift...

Um yes....there are a lot of men who are looking for easy sex. BDSM isn't any different than any other walk of life. I'm sure this isn't the first time you've encountered men who try to fool you into being what they think you want, so you'll give them access to your body. That's pretty much a fact of life. Eh...brush it off. If it bothers you that much I'd reconsider entering the dating world and think about spending my time at home with a good book. You're not going to escape it here, at your church social, or at the local meeting of Parents Without Partners. That's how it is, there are clueless men out there who live by what their penis makes them do. Oh well. Big deal. It's been like that since Adam and Eve, I'm not sure why BDSM would be any different.

You are certainly entitled to your preferences, but do you have to express them in a way here in this thread that makes anyone who isn't in your stated group look like a POS? Would you like it if the tables were turned? I'm talking about the swipe at the short, overweight, construction workers out there. Doesn't really reflect well on someone to be punitive about looks etc.

As far as what other sites you are linked to...your picture comes up as being posted on a number of dating and sex sites. When that happens it usually means the person posting the picture has taken it off one of these sites- which means that the picture isn't of them. It does seem at this point that you have posted a picture to represent yourself here that may not belong to you, and probably isn't 'you'. In fact, maybe that's part of the problem with these clueless men, they've seen your picture on these other sex sites, or tracked it there, and think you're fair game for being their sexual partner.

(in reply to Lisha333)

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Introductions] >> Introduce yourself >> Doms Are Totally Clueless

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.047