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Gabrielle -> RE: Psychology/experience of 'subspace'... (4/14/2004 7:30:22 PM)
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For me, subspace occurs when I am nowhere but 'inside' my Master. Nothing matters, but his voice, his touch, even his silence. It is where you no longer feel the pain. All you feel is your undying gratitude for the opportunity to make your Master happy. The pure joy in his praise, his correction, his discipline and punishment. Knowing that all he has done, and is doing, is for the betterment of the relationship, not to humiliate or hurt you. I am sure you have heard of astral projection-seperating mind from body. It is similar to that, but your mind only has one destination, inside of your Master. In his soul, so you feel him inside and out. The whips don't matter, the clamps don't exist, there is freedom in a hogtie because you do it for HIM. It is where you don't matter. All that matters is HIM and if He wanted you to move a mountain, you honestly feel you could, because it would be done in honor of HIM.
I admit, I usually need some help to get there. This may happen during an intense (I Hate to use this word, it has such a negetive undertone) beating. Where he knew my limit, but was able to take me beyond that limit. Past my comfort zone, past what I already knew to be true just to be stunned as to what the reality really was. It is when emotion is involved. Where he guides me through anything rough with THAT touch and THAT voice. It is a mindset. One hand takes the cane to my tender thighs, while the other hand offers a gentle stroke on my face or through my hair.
The more training I receive though, the more I grow. The more I am able to find that space on my own. Sometimes it is necessary. For example : One day he put me in my wrist and ankle cuffs and chained my wrists together and then my ankles. Then he put me in the car to go out to eat. I thought he was out of his mind! My first thought was that there was no way I was going to Friendly's-a family restaurant- like that! But I proceeded to put myself in the proper mindset. It was hard, and I knew he wasn't going to help me. But I did it. I accepted what was to be and found joy in giving him what he wanted. I found that space-that mindset- then said f*ck 'em all, I am going to make my Daddy happy and I don't give a dam what anyone thinks. I found my peace.
Now, he was very proud of me. He sensed the acceptance and rewarded me by removing the chains when we arrived. Whew! But the point is, I was willing and ready to serve him in anyway because NOTHING else mattered.
This my friend, is subspace, the most beautiful place to be.
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