RE: Need Guidance (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


catize -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 12:21:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

Being the dominant one, I make sure everything is safe and consensual.

What do you think?

*I* think you failed; failed to get her consent, failed to keep her safe (not only did you allow her to be at risk for pregnancy but STD's as well) and I think you have failed as a decent human being. You called to apologize and therefore you think you have accepted responsibilty??? Not in any way, shape or form!




Rawni -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 1:19:59 PM)

You cannot get away with excusing poor behavior because others have poor behavior. You will or should be accountable for your actions, it doesn't matter what others do when pertaining to what you have done. Because everyone is doing it is not an excuse, nor would any parent accept that from nearly every teenager that ever said it to them.

Each individual will deal with whatever comes by what they do. So if women are guilty of rape or misdeed, they should be accountable.

That doesn't negate what you say you have done and a simple 'I'm sorry' doesn't cut it in a story like you have described.




angelikaJ -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 1:30:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

First of all, I'm not a Troll.
Secondly, I'm a pretty nice person, just ask my Mom. It's hard to please her.
Thirdly, I want to thank everyone for their comments. They have been appreciated.
Fourthly, I learned my lesson and I have made amends. I called her and left a message apologizing for my actions.
Fifthly, I'm moving forward. I'm corresponding with a new female submissive from this site and we will meet tomorrow. Also, a male submissive has contacted me wanted to be part of the play. He said he has been reading my post.
Sixthly, I've matured and I'm taking responsibility. I'm going to do a background check on this new male submissive. Also, I'm going to have him sign a legal contract saying he doesn't have any STD's. So if he lies there is legal recourse.

Again, I want to thank everyone for your comments.


You still don't understand.
1) If the new submissive doesn't give consent to have sex without a condom then once again, you are behaving in a way that is without integrity and is despicable.

2) The fact that the male submissive has had a test saying he does not have a sexually transmitted disease only means he did not have a sexually transmitted disease that he was tested for at the time of the test.
It does not cover the interval between the test and his having sex with the next person, nor does it cover diseases that men are not tested for... such as HPV (some strains of which do cause cancer).
So, you would need the part of his medical records stating he has been vaccinated (with the entire series of 3) for HPV, and even that is not a 100% guarantee.
In case you weren't aware, condoms are not 100% effective in the prevention of pregnancy or STDs; and may not work at all in relation to HPV or Herpes.






MasterRobert007 -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 1:43:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

First of all, I'm not a Troll.
Secondly, I'm a pretty nice person, just ask my Mom. It's hard to please her.
Thirdly, I want to thank everyone for their comments. They have been appreciated.
Fourthly, I learned my lesson and I have made amends. I called her and left a message apologizing for my actions.
Fifthly, I'm moving forward. I'm corresponding with a new female submissive from this site and we will meet tomorrow. Also, a male submissive has contacted me wanted to be part of the play. He said he has been reading my post.
Sixthly, I've matured and I'm taking responsibility. I'm going to do a background check on this new male submissive. Also, I'm going to have him sign a legal contract saying he doesn't have any STD's. So if he lies there is legal recourse.

Again, I want to thank everyone for your comments.


You still don't understand.
1) If the new submissive doesn't give consent to have sex without a condom then once again, you are behaving in a way that is without integrity and is despicable.

2) The fact that the male submissive has had a test saying he does not have a sexually transmitted disease only means he did not have a sexually transmitted disease that he was tested for at the time of the test.
It does not cover the interval between the test and his having sex with the next person, nor does it cover diseases that men are not tested for... such as HPV (some strains of which do cause cancer).
So, you would need the part of his medical records stating he has been vaccinated (with the entire series of 3) for HPV, and even that is not a 100% guarantee.
In case you weren't aware, condoms are not 100% effective in the prevention of pregnancy or STDs; and may not work at all in relation to HPV or Herpes.



If all this what you are saying is true then the female submissive has to take responsibility too. If the male submissive swears up and down he does not have any STD's and I require that he wear a condom and this is all right with the female submissive; well then it's on her. And if nothing is 100% sure, why have sex then if it's too dangerous?

I've been to a private BDSM private parties and I see couples switch partners and have sex. Right in front of everybody.




Rawni -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 1:59:06 PM)

You didn't require the male submissive to wear a condom.... which the female submissive required for play. All this other shit is deflection and excuse.

Stick to YOUR topic and stop deflecting blame elsewhere.




freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 1:59:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007
If all this what you are saying is true then the female submissive has to take responsibility too.

Yes. Which is why she told you that it was sex with a condom only!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007
If the male submissive swears up and down he does not have any STD's and I require that he wear a condom and this is all right with the female submissive; well then it's on her.

No, no and no.
It is on each and every one of you, not just her.
And the moment your dick ruled your brains and had the male fuck her without a condom means you broke her consent... absolutely and completely.
That act in and of itself makes you irresponsible and dangerous.
Whether the male sub lied or not - that is immaterial.
Your actions were despicable, underhand, irresponsible and outright dangerous.

Your whole attitude about him telling lies and her being responsible speaks volumes about your immaturity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007
I've been to a private BDSM private parties and I see couples switch partners and have sex. Right in front of everybody.

As do we.
But... we know our swap partners and they are just as meticulous as we are.
And like many in this scene, we don't and won't do casual - the risk isn't worth it.

As many of us have said here many times, you are not being mature and responsible at all.
Not in your outlook, your responses, nor your activities.




pg4g -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:03:09 PM)

There's nothing wrong with having sex, as long as you use protection, and do all in your power to adequately protect against the risks of pregnancy, STD's etc, whether you are the penetrating person or not.

The issue you had before was you were deliberately taking massive risks, and it seriously didn't pay off for you, and now you can't seem to fathom the fact that you are indeed responsible for this child. An "I'm Sorry" won't help here - I'm sorry doesn't change the fact that though you are not this kid's parent, you are extremely responsible for it's welfare, and I'd be paying this woman some form of child support. No "I'm sorry" covers what you did because either way, a child is coming now that you caused, whether it was your dick that penetrated her or not.




MasterRobert007 -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:03:13 PM)

Okay, okay, okay, I realize I was wrong telling the male submissive not to wear a condom.

What I'm saying that if I direct a scene and require the male submissive to wear a condom and the female submissive is okay with this and she gets pregnant and/or a STD I'm not to blame. It's on him and her. Right?




Rawni -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:07:09 PM)

Dude... quit shifting blame. You started the whole mess... or story... by making an agreement with your submissive and you broke that agreement by dictating that the lying male submissive not use a condom... therefore... it is your fault. Doesn't matter if he lied... you first lied by agreeing to your submissive's terms.

Now... stop. Take your life beating and challenge and realize that as a result.. in this little story... there is supposedly a child that needs a life and care. There is nothing else that matters at this point.




sexyred1 -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:08:36 PM)

I just want to thank everyone involved with this thread.

I have been laughing so hard, my make up is ruined.

This is like the old great CM idiocy threads of yore.

I believe this is all a wank, but if true, I believe the OP, the sub and the sub he is getting ready to meet should have a threesome.

Not for sex, but to go to Planned Parenthood together for some much needed advice, family planning, contraceptives and possibly, tube tying and vasectomies.

Not to be mean, but with such high levels of stupidity here, procreation is not in anyone's best interest.




KYsissy -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:12:02 PM)

Maybe this has already been posted, i have not read the whole thread. A man has been convicted of sexual assault after poking holes in condoms trying to get his girl pregnant. So yes, sexual assault definitley applies.

http://m.torontosun.com/2014/03/07/poking-holes-in-condoms-is-sexual-assault-supreme-court

The reasoning goes that she consented to sex with a condom, she did not consent to unprotected sex. Therefore, it was NOT consenual.

Sound familiar?




pg4g -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:12:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I just want to thank everyone involved with this thread.

I have been laughing so hard, my make up is ruined.

This is like the old great CM idiocy threads of yore.

I believe this is all a wank, but if true, I believe the OP, the sub and the sub he is getting ready to meet should have a threesome.

Not for sex, but to go to Planned Parenthood together for some much needed advice, family planning, contraceptives and possibly, tube tying and vasectomies.

Not to be mean, but with such high levels of stupidity here, procreation is not in anyone's best interest.


Haha yeah, I'm not certain this is true either. But it's been fun nonetheless hahaha. [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]




freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:18:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

Okay, okay, okay, I realize I was wrong telling the male submissive not to wear a condom.

What I'm saying that if I direct a scene and require the male submissive to wear a condom and the female submissive is okay with this and she gets pregnant and/or a STD I'm not to blame. It's on him and her. Right?

But if you direct the male to remove the condom against her wishes, that makes it 100% down to YOU.


ETA: Your whole attitude screams immaturity and lack of knowledge.
And I don't mean just this incident. I'm speaking of your whole life skills (or lack of them).




Rawni -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:21:17 PM)

Some of it is funny... but it reminds me of having a houseful of teenagers... omg not so funny! [:D]




angelikaJ -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:30:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007

Okay, okay, okay, I realize I was wrong telling the male submissive not to wear a condom.

What I'm saying that if I direct a scene and require the male submissive to wear a condom and the female submissive is okay with this and she gets pregnant and/or a STD I'm not to blame. It's on him and her. Right?


My suggestion?
https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/kap-directory-homepage.html?catid=16

Save your money and ask for a consult.

I think that you are personally okay with doing things that are deceptive and amoral as long as you don't get caught.

Your mom thinks you're nice.
How many things have you snuck by her, including this scenario?
I am guessing that your mom doesn't really know everything.
I am guessing that you are probably good at appearing to be trustworthy, when in fact you aren't.
You are just pretty good at not getting caught.

There is, btw, a difference between doing the right thing and breaking applicable laws.
You may do despicable things and not break any laws.
That doesn't mean you are doing the right thing or are behaving in a responsible manner in your interpersonal dealings.




VideoAdminChi -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 2:54:11 PM)

This thread has been locked to allow posters to catch up to my warning about not making personal attacks.




VideoAdminChi -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 7:05:49 PM)

Unlocked. Again, please refrain from making personal attacks.




graceadieu -> RE: Need Guidance (3/9/2014 10:21:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Why not just put the poor infant up for adoption in situations like these so it can have a chance to have two loving parents who wanted a baby to begin with?


Exactly!! She is all emotional and screaming what has happened to my life! It's your fault! She just won't listen to reason.



Assuming this really happened, it is your fault, even if you're not the father. You got him have sex with her without a condom - against her expressed will.




choke7881 -> RE: Need Guidance (3/10/2014 1:38:03 AM)

Wow... That's the only comment you'll get out of me on that.




DaddySatyr -> RE: Need Guidance (3/10/2014 2:51:45 AM)

I think one of the issues is that when people are new ... when they discover that they're not "weird"; that there are other people that are into the same things that they are, there's a tendency to be like a kid in a candy store.

The issue is that along with the benefits of being a dominant come the responsibilities.

We have a responsibility, even when just in a "scene" to look out for the people who entrust their well being to us for whatever period of time.

For what it's worth: I think you failed in that responsibility and you should refrain from further activity until you've spent some time learning from people in the community.



Good luck,



Michael




Page: <<   < prev  4 5 [6] 7 8   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
6.640625E-02