why are so many slaves/subs greedy?

why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (Full Version)

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budda1488 -> why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:06:14 PM)
why is it so hard to find a slave who can handle the blessings i give through the paddle or whatever? I have needs also.

DarkSteven -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:09:08 PM)
What the heck are you saying? Are you saying that they want other activities? That you spank harder than they like? Why does that equate to greediness? Are you saying that you want a sub to do just what you want, how you want it? Is this for just play sessions, or a relationship? And if both of you aren't getting needs met, it ain't gonna work. So how will you satisfy ALL parties?

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:16:07 PM)
If you are someone who likes giving pain then you should be seeking partners who are masochists or one who can endure for you. However, for the most part, one builds up to giving hard blessings with the paddle or whatever, and if you don't have patience you will likely be longing for what you seek for awhile longer than if you are patient. You do not come across as one who is patient.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:17:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 why is it so hard to find a slave who can handle the blessings i give through the paddle or whatever? I have needs also. Wait, what? Are you saying they can't handle impact play as hard and heavy as you want to dish it out? I'm confused. If I'm right and that's what you're saying, then find someone who is a heavy masochist to match your heavy sadism. It's not going to happen in five minutes but it's doable. However, you may need to lighten up a bit and look for someone who can handle a heavy scene once every couple of months if you do enough warm up rather than someone who can take a lot of pain straight out of the gate. Being flexible is going to work better for you in the long run. However, if you're saying you want to dish out a lot of pain without meeting a slave's emotional and physical needs, then you're going to be looking for a long time. You might want to rethink your approach.

Missokyst -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:29:10 PM)
[:D][8\|] It always gives me a giggle when someone refers to spankings, bj's ect, as blessings.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:30:50 PM)
I like the responses, thank you , what I mean is that even when warming up , and nothing too severe they quit sometimes but when i'm sadistic they take it harder then they do as when going soft. more of a question to figure things out, maybe looking fo ra different approach. as far as emotional i think I'm too coddley but have ahd some say that i don't have emotion? this was more of a question to seek different opinions .

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:31:55 PM)
Perhaps because your approach is all wrong?

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:40:47 PM)
not new to bdsm been a master for years, am new to the scene usually have a more personal relation

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:43:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 not new to bdsm been a master for years, am new to the scene usually have a more personal relation How did you learn how to engage in impact play? There are ways to do it that can go really wrong for the person you are hitting. There is more to it than picking up a paddle (or whatever) and just start whaling away.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:46:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 I like the responses, thank you , what I mean is that even when warming up , and nothing too severe they quit sometimes but when i'm sadistic they take it harder then they do as when going soft. more of a question to figure things out, maybe looking fo ra different approach. as far as emotional i think I'm too coddley but have ahd some say that i don't have emotion? this was more of a question to seek different opinions . Well, in my experience, and this is just me so take it for whatever you think it's worth, I've found that different implements get different reactions from different people and those reactions can change from day to day. One sub I played with considered herself a pain slut but she hated the cane. She couldn't handle it for long no matter how much warm up I gave her so I only used it when I was feeling particularly sadistic and wanted to punish her. I also learned I don't like a punishment dynamic, but that's a topic for another thread. A friend of mine can handle a lot of pain with barely a whimper. It's actually kind of scary to witness, but in a good way, if that makes sense. But she hates the cold. I put a bag of frozen strawberries on her nether regions and then proceeded to do knife play on her. She didn't last too long but it was super fun. What I'm getting at here is that you may need to change what things you're using, whether crop, cane, paddle, etc., to figure out what they can take more of and what you have to use with less force. And it's still going to change from day to day since mood plays an important role. A change in lighting, sound, texture of the rope you used for bondage - all of those things factor into the overall ambiance. You might have to spend some time experimenting to figure out what works and what doesn't. But experimenting is fun, right? FOR SCIENCE! [:D]

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:50:32 PM)
I know that, I was actually introduces years ago by my wife who was a slave. I was extremely cruel back then and it was befitting. that was 30yrs. ago. I don't play the scene much but am very much the experienced master. Ive only become new to the scene when introduced to computers.

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:55:59 PM)
So, is it that the women you have found are less masochistic than your wife? It is not unusual for people to have very different pain responses. Why are you categorising them as greedy?

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:56:54 PM)
yes it does change from day to day. thank you I see you have the same experiences as I . i used to just get frustrated, and after a while kick them to the curb. slight changes nice idea. :) thank you.SylvereApLeanan, is that mistress?

DarkSteven -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 7:59:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 I like the responses, thank you , what I mean is that even when warming up , and nothing too severe they quit sometimes but when i'm sadistic they take it harder then they do as when going soft. more of a question to figure things out, maybe looking fo ra different approach. as far as emotional i think I'm too coddley but have ahd some say that i don't have emotion? this was more of a question to seek different opinions . Fella, you seem to think that all women are alike. Different women respond differently on different days to different implements and to your different moods. If you want them to enjoy it, you've got to learn their reactions. I like to think of there as being several different levels of play, as defined by the bottom's reactions: 1. Too soft – the bottom is bored. 2. Decent - the bottom feels it but is not in pain 3. Uncomfortable - the bottom feels it but it's not more than she wants 4. Hard - it's more than she wants but she can handle it 5. Too much - more than she wants, and she can barely handle it or cannot handle it 6. Abusive - way too hard and possibly nonconsensual I try to work at levels 3 and 4.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:03:47 PM)
yes i do but I give for them and I would expect them to also give for me, at times when i need. I believe it is 2 sided i submit and by that I mean i go softer for them when they need it and i expect them to do the same when i need it. otherwise I look at it as greedy

angelikaJ -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:14:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: budda1488 yes i do but I give for them and I would expect them to also give for me, at times when i need. I believe it is 2 sided i submit and by that I mean i go softer for them when they need it and i expect them to do the same when i need it. otherwise I look at it as greedy You may be playing with partners you are not compatible with.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:20:16 PM)
story of my life. lol

petitespot -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:23:15 PM)
Maybe you just don't inspire them to want to take more for you.

budda1488 -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:27:01 PM)
ouch. maybe how would I do that. see I'm used to being demanding and in control yet supportive and loving . I try to fulfill them emotionally as well as physically. maybe that is where i go wrong at?

DesFIP -> RE: why are so many slaves/subs greedy? (3/25/2014 8:30:01 PM)
The only constant in all your relationships is you. If you consistently pick partners you are not compatible with, that's your fault for not discussing these things first. Me? Doesn't matter how much good stuff he does for me, I still can't handle pain. I never have and never will. It does not translate to anything good for me. Which is why I picked a person I am compatible with, I'm a bondage bottom and he's a bondage top. I handle what he gives me just fine, with the occasional need for a tie being adjusted. But we both come out happy.

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