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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:01:48 PM

Posts: 64
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I can't say I hate switches - but I wouldn't date a switch ever again.
I met a switch on CollarMe, and he said that he would be the Dom in the relationship, and I'd only have to top for play. After a month, he totally did a 180, and he wanted ME to be the Dom in the relationship full time. I had tried, but, a monkey can't be a cheetah.
So my first experience with a switch wasn't very good...and it turned me off.

(sorry greta, didn't mean to reply to you!)

< Message edited by fluffyprincess -- 5/13/2014 11:02:25 PM >

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:03:08 PM

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quote:

The fact that people see "switch" and they automatically judge someone for it seems rather prejudiced.

That is exactly correct, and not prejudice, but it tells people that you have submissive tendencies. Also, if you are truly a dominant, you would have no issues even as a Switch label. You would be able to inspire submission EVEN with the prejudice. But if you are facing issues controlling others with your dominant inner half, then, maybe it's your dominating skills that needs brushing up. While I don't think switches could work out as so far, it's been true, but I usually thoroughly question a switch on his motivations for being dominant, before I make a decision if his suitable or not.

There is also the whole issue with of switches online that have trouble getting a domme to play with him for free, and so they start calling themselves dominant hopefully to find a submissive submissive enough to have sex with them and then maybe order the submissive to play out some of their sub male fantasies, topping from bottom.

I always tell any switch I meet, that, I see switch people as the most sexually flexible type of people, and people who just loves ALL types of kink. Whereas I always made it clear that I am not flexible with my kinks, I know exactly and very specifically what I like, and there is something very specific that can fulfill me. So in that, we are too different to work.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/13/2014 11:06:57 PM >

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:07:01 PM

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I certainly wouldn't get looked at online, because I have a switch label.

And in person, I have no issues inspiring submission. It's my job description, and it comes naturally.

It sort of helps you out when you break in military recruits.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 5/13/2014 11:11:44 PM >

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:10:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

I certainly wouldn't get looked online, because I have a switch label.

And in person, I have no issues inspiring submission. It's my job description, and it comes naturally.

So what are you complaining about exactly? If you want to attract submissive online, you need to put dominant in your label then. Because no submissive is gonna bother to browse switches, they will be more focus on finding dominants.
So I think it's crazy that you are even having issues with submissive not bothering to browse switches as potential dominants.

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:14:50 PM

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I'm not having these issues. Im in a completely great switch relationship, and I'd only ever seek switches.

I just saw prejudice and was pointing it out.

So people have to choose "what would I rather be, dom or sub"? Or should they create two profiles?

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 5/13/2014 11:16:19 PM >

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:18:24 PM

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quote:

So people have to choose "what would I rather be, dom or sub"? Or should they create two profiles?

I would expect switches to be browsed by other switches.
But if your goal is to specifically aim to get submissives to contact you, then you should definitely have a pure dominant profile. Because the way they filter their search, they are going to choose "dominant" as a filter, obviously!

I mean, sometimes I roll my eyes when I get a submissive male contact me telling me about his doming experience and how I should give him a chance, when his profile is entirely about how his looking for dommes, to live in a poly household and things like that. I wonder if any submissive women here would enjoy reading about a man's experience as a submissive if his looking to dom her. I don't know, I am not interested. More interested in his doming experiences.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/13/2014 11:19:40 PM >

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:20:45 PM

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quote:

I would expect switches to be browsed by other switches.
But if your goal is to specifically aim to get submissives to contact you, then you should definitely have a pure dominant profile. Because the way they filter their search, they are going to choose "dominant" as a filter, obviously!

What if they're open to either?

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 5/13/2014 11:22:35 PM >

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:24:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
What if they're open to either?

Then you will have to be patient to wait for a switch to find you. As I would assume switches will be looking for other switches who is open to both.

If not, have two separate profiles. One pure dominant, and one pure submissive.

Because even as a switch, I BET, that if you are in the mood to be dominated, you will be browsing dominants, and if you are in the mood to dominate, you will be browsing submissives. I bet even switches don't bother browsing other switches much because it's not clear upfront which mode are they in the mood for. It's much easier to specifically go after people who is clear and know exactly what they want.

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:30:04 PM

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Lol I only browse switches. I don't want to be sure who's more dominant...

Yet another thing I doubt you'd understand.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 5/13/2014 11:31:33 PM >

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:35:53 PM

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From: The Shire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

I'll repeat for emphasis:

If I put dom as my label and just didn't worry about my want for someone in control, and never pursued it, a sub wouldn't know the difference.

The fact that people see "switch" and they automatically judge someone for it seems rather prejudiced.

This is what I mean though- this is just a preference- not hatred. Viewing it as hatred is what seems so defensive.
I'm sure you're a capable dominant.
If someone doesn't think so cause you're also in touch with submitting- who cares? Don't be with them. They prefer someone who is strictly dominant- its really not a huge deal, and it isn't hatred, just sexual preference.

Hatred is saying switches aren't real and they suck and shouldn't be allowed to date. I'd go so far as to say saying "Switches are confused!" is pretty bashing. But overall its ok people have preferences.

I dislike doing acts with submissive men, but it doesn't make me HATE them. Or feel prejudice for them. I just prefer to not do that.
I don't like CNC- but I don't hate people who engage in it.
I don't like TPE- but I don't hate people that engage in it.

These are people I wouldn't want to be in a relationship and wouldn't work well with. It isn't prejudice, its preference.

Thats what Greta (and others) is/are trying to say.

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:40:13 PM

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And I agreed it wasn't hatred very early on, but I can't go back and change the title to "Prejudice against switches" now can I?

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:43:44 PM

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I guess I should throw in a small bit of info.

I would technically classify myself as a switch. Mine is more stemmed from the fact that I always mold myself to match my partner. I am submissive in general but I have become dominant to please some I have dated. I have noticed a bit of prejudice towards switches though. It does concern me a bit.

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:46:59 PM

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From: The Shire
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I'm saying it isn't prejudice either.

My vagina isn't equal opportunity. And that's ok.
I'd agree that some stuff said in this thread IS prejudice. Subs do submit to switches frequently. And Dom's top switches frequently. Spouting those things based on biased observation is a bit irritating. But name a group in BDSM that hasn't faced that from other BDSM groups?

I'm a bedroom only bottom. Which according to lots of people means I'm really the boss and my man is just servicing me. I know that isn't the case, and I'm fine with it. Forget everyone else.
Do what you do and get on with your bad self. Don't let others opinions make you feel insecure.

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/13/2014 11:52:37 PM

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quote:

These are people I wouldn't want to be in a relationship and wouldn't work well with. It isn't prejudice, its preference.

How do you know that you wouldn't work well with me, apart from a label?

I believe it would be prejudice to judge me for the fact that my label is switch if I want to approach someone as a dom. That's what prejudice is: pre-judging. They "pre-judged" me and dismissed me because I could be submissive with someone else. If they didn't know it, they wouldn't judge me, and they'd be certain I was a dom, and all would be fine.

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/14/2014 12:05:48 AM

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

Lol I only browse switches. I don't want to be sure who's more dominant... Yet another thing I doubt you'd understand.

Well you are switch, so that makes sense, but don't expect non-switches to browse switches.

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/14/2014 12:09:41 AM

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quote:

How do you know that you wouldn't work well with me, apart from a label?

I already know I wouldn't work well with you from our interaction. Because by posting such a topic is a very very un-dominant action to start with. You don't really live and breathe dominance. You equate people who are not switches and not wanting switches to Hatred, like seriously...., what difference is this from dominants moaning about "fake subs" not wanting to submit to him.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/14/2014 12:10:37 AM >

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/14/2014 12:14:35 AM

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Actually, if you check out what I've said, I corrected myself rather quickly. I'm sorry, I'm not perfect.

But it is fair to stand against prejudice, and that's what I'm doing.

And I don't equate people who don't want switches to hatred at all. I'm saying (as I have corrected and said countless times) people who automatically base their judgements on the fact that someone has labeled themselves "switch" are prejudiced against them. That's what prejudice is- judging on the basis of something without getting to know the person.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 5/14/2014 12:20:10 AM >

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"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/14/2014 12:21:30 AM

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

People who automatically base their judgements on the fact that someone has labeled themselves "switch" are prejudiced against them.

It's like Obama getting prejudice for being half black, but he was still able to inspire majority to vote for him. It doesn't matter what people think of your title, but can you inspire them to be what you want them to be.
That's all I am saying. And as a dominant, one of the key factor is able to influence the actions of others to what you want.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/14/2014 12:22:52 AM >

(in reply to FightingChains)

RE: Switch Hatred - 5/14/2014 12:23:18 AM

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I agree.

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RE: Switch Hatred - 5/14/2014 12:41:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains
...I'm saying (as I have corrected and said countless times) people who automatically base their judgements on the fact that someone has labeled themselves "switch" are prejudiced against them. That's what prejudice is- judging on the basis of something without getting to know the person.

I 'get' what you're saying, but if you don't actually want a 'switch' for whatever reason, you dismiss people based on the label they have chosen for themselves.
That isn't prejudice, that's a personal preference.

It's like people only wanting their partner to be taller than them.
Again, that's a preference, not a prejudice.

You don't need to get to know the person at all because other characteristics preclude them from further scrutiny.

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(in reply to FightingChains)

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