Gauge
Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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For those debating the usage and meaning of the word fornication, this is the best and most balanced page I could find with an exhaustive discourse on the word, its origins in the original Greek and its various appearances in the context of the Bible. This does not mean that I want to get involved in the minutia of the discussion, nor do I wish to engage in Semantics Online the MMO.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/pornea.htm
A few things while I read this thread I would like to respond to, including the OP who has seemed to vaporize...
quote:
Arturas
Let me tell you a super secret about men. They don't know what they want when it comes to marriage and kids, for certain.
Let me tell you a super secret about men, you do not speak for all men and you certainly are damned presumptuous to speak for me. You speak for you, end of story.
quote:
SeekingTrinity
Frankly I think it's a HUGE mistake to not listen to the person when they tell you flat out they are not interested in marriage or family AND their desire for sex outside of marriage conflicts with one's own moral code. It's an even bigger mistake to piss away your life or sell out your faith in the hopes that MAYBE one day he MIGHT change his mind
This. So much this. I felt when I was young that I never wanted to get married, and I did because love makes you do stupid things sometimes... oddly enough, so does youth. I didn't want kids when I was young, I am the father of two boys. People change, this is definitely contrary to Arturas who would have you believe that men have no idea what they want ever and are subject to a vacillating opinion on most everything. I didn't want marriage or kids. I found the right women and married her (the error of that belief became apparent 13 years later), we had kids, and while that terrified me, I was completely confident that I wanted them. If I had started a relationship with the statement that I didn't want either kids or marriage and it ran contrary to the woman I was dating, I would never expect that woman to compromise her wishes for me. That would lead to bitterness and resentment down the line.
quote:
FelineRanger
Here's where I depart from the community at large. I'm not entirely certain that you're ready for the things you say you want. At 20, a person is typically still in the early phases of emerging from whatever upbringing they experienced. Even in the next few years, you may grow and want something different than you do now. The typical 20 year old hasn't finished any education past high school or made any concrete career decisions, either.
This is sage advice. At 48 I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. At age 20 some people are ready, some are not, but I can tell you that there is certainly no reason to rush into anything.
quote:
FelineRanger
Human beings without the artificial constraints of religion would likely conduct themselves much more like our closest cousins, chimpanzees and bonobos.
I wish I had the link for the article I just read about the scientific study of apes and morality. Fascinating stuff actually. Not certain if this is the article I read or not: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/god-moral/story?id=18898993&singlePage=true
quote:
Arturas
I can speak to the subject knowing most men think the same way. I suspect that is good enough for this subject.
Look at what you wrote and then come back and say you ex knew what he "firmly" desired, or you for that matter.
Try this logic with me and you may pull back a stump. You have no idea what may have happened in that marriage, how dare you be so presumptuous. Also, don't try to tell me I fall into the same category because I am divorced, when I feel the need to explain my divorce to you, I will, until then, while you are entitled to think what you want, you are welcome to assume nothing about me.
quote:
Arturas
... I am also surprised that so many on a BDSM site wish to give advice that boxes her desires in with artificial constraints.
Like the artificial constraints of speaking for everyone?
quote:
RockaRolla
1.) Complete bullshit. This is to say that atheists and other non-theists behave like animals when this isn't the case. In fact it's just as likely for a non-religious type to act uncivilized because of the lack of a God than it is for a religious person to commit the same crimes because "It's cool, Jesus died for my sins."
No, it really is not saying that atheists behave like animals. Take a moment to read the link that I provided above, he is saying simply that apes have been proven to have a moral code that they follow. I really wish I could find that article I read because it explains the scientific study of the morality of apes and their code for living and respect for life all without comprehension of religion.
quote:
nm
< Message edited by thompsonx -- 6/22/2014 9:33:02 PM >
Possibly the best idea in this thread.
quote:
freedomdwarf1
C'mon guys.... put the testosterone away please.
3 pages of waffle - mostly arguing about words.
PPFFFFFTTT!!!
Read the OP's first post.
They are strongly christian and believe sex before marriage is not right.
Their Dom wants sex but not marriage or a family.
So the OP is asking whether they should turn their back on their faith or drop their Dom.
...and we get 3 pages of waffle about certain words and what they mean to certain people.
Who gives a flying fuck?? It doesn't answer OP's dilema.
Nicely stated. Pissing up each others legs gets us nowhere.
quote:
FightingChains
This isn't a D/s issue - it's a relationship and faith issue. Do you violate your morals to keep your partner?
This is a submissive talking about a potential master. It includes faith, and relationships as well as the BDSM element of what is "right" as a submissive. While I agree that the BDSM part is miniscule, it definitely contains all of these factors.
quote:
RockaRolla
It was really just a roundabout way of trying to convince the OP that she should compromise her morals and sleep around.
No, I doubt that it was. There was a discussion of the meaning of a word which was taken out of context from the original Greek and roots of the word. How one defines a word such as this has little bearing on much of anything and negates little of the advice given with the caveat that the advice given is subject to the scrutiny that should be applied to any other advice thread.
quote:
RockaRolla
In fact, I was one of the people encouraging her to stick to her guns.
Indeed you were.
To the OP:
Please return and show us that you are not sitting there laughing at the already 3 pages of debate you have been responsible for creating.
What comes into question here is what you believe is right. As I stated here, the BDSM plays an extremely small part of this predicament as a whole. If you compromise your beliefs then you have sold out who you are in the process, whether or not you are confident in who you are is irrelevant, you know what you believe and that is completely relevant. You asked a question that I am a little shocked that you didn't realize you answered for yourself. You stated that "My faith comes first." If that is true, then your problem is then solved and that you care for a guy that is asking you to compromise your faith is astounding to me. I am quickly approaching 14 years of continuous sobriety. If someone asked me to compromise my sobriety, no matter who it was or how deeply I cared for them, I would tell them absolutely, unequivocally, that I will do no such thing. I have strength in my convictions, and you should too. If you care for this person and they are asking you to violate everything you believe is right for you, then you are with the wrong person no matter what your head and heart might be telling you. You are setting yourself up for failure if your faith in your personal beliefs is that strong, then stand by them and send this guy on his way. There are plenty of people out there that think and feel the way you do, find one and if they are kinky, all the better for your relationship.
Please come back. I would hate to think that you are eating popcorn and chuckling to yourself that I just took the time for such a lengthy post.
Either way, I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.
_____________________________
"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick
I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.
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RE: Conflicted - PLEASE help! - 
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