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RE: If you are collared? you belong go your man - 9/8/2016 10:35:33 AM

WhoreMods

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ocl751

in days of old slave girs were often chained up collared owned sold any bible has numerous references to it as societies in the dim past

John Norman and Pauline Reage lied about branding bums, then?

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RE: If you are collared? you belong go your man - 9/8/2016 11:12:31 AM

OsideGirl

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I'm convinced that it's just another sock.

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/8/2016 12:36:39 PM

HoneyBears

Posts: 337
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm convinced that it's just another sock.

You are onto something. He just joined 3 days ago and knew how to edit the thread Subject line in his post no. 35.

Not only is coherency evidently not his forte, but this is not his first rodeo.

(I changed it back.)

-- Lisa

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/8/2016 1:23:33 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Feelingalone
I was wondering, if you are in a long term relationship or even married to the person who you allowed to take ownership with collaring, When would you decide to remove that collar? What would be some of the reasons you would no longer want to be collared but still love and adore that person because you have no plans on leaving them. Just removing that symbol of ownership.

Carol & I have been married for ~2 decades now. In all cases it has been me who's been "removing the collar" not her. In all cases, the generic reason was, "This is no longer a net positive for our relationship." I came to that conclusion for different reasons each time.

Here's what I've learned about that. If the couple in question is natively D/s and if they are not going to separate, then you can't get rid of the dynamic. You can downplay it if you want but it is always there. This is only half a joke but here's the difference from collared to not collared:

Collared:
Me: Hey, apply for that job.
Her: OK.

Not Collared:
Me: If I were your master I'd tell you to apply for that job.
Her: OK.

Unlike Kana, for us the collar never was the same as a wedding ring. We were married for a decade before the collar. The wedding ring and the loving relationship it signifies is, by far, the core of the relationship. If the love fell apart the relationship would dissolve. The collar is more of an add-on... although given what I said above, I perhaps should've said "klingon" :)

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RE: If you are collared? you belong go your man - 9/8/2016 1:27:03 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
What?

Put the Babel fish in your ear. Then it all makes sense.

And this is why we need a like button here :)

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Post #: 45

RE: If you are collared? - 9/8/2016 2:37:18 PM

Numerans

Posts: 87
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That's something I have been thinking about too.
They are sexy and kinky but I would say put a person out in the open at a disadvantage.

Personally I am of the opinion that although various tools and symbols or marks such as Collars, tattoos, scars, chasity devices and what not can be used for mindgames, public events, disciplinary actions etc they should not be necessary otherwise unless both persons just really like that dynamic. Isn't the unchained or unmarked pet that returns to you every night the most precious too?

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Post #: 46

RE: If you are collared? - 9/16/2016 7:13:10 AM

Pintapride

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My Submissive went to get her neck tattooed for me yesterday, She had to have the collar removed to enable the work
to be done... She was mortified that it needed to be taken off. I told her that it was just a temporary opening and would be re-closed as soon
as the tattoo was finished! To her the Collar is the sense of being owned. To me it was just a small glitch.
Fortunately it has been re-closed and she is happy again!

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/16/2016 8:32:45 AM

Babygirlaura

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In my mind it's the same as would you remove your wedding ring

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/16/2016 8:36:02 AM

Babygirlaura

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Day collars are cute and classy and the outside world has no idea. Then you have your playtime collar that's for BDSM fun

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/21/2016 4:50:29 PM

kiwisub22

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I had a beautiful sterling silver locking collar with my Sir. I received it after we had been together for a year, and wore it nonstop for about three years, and gained weight and asked my Sir to remove it. He did - and it made absolutely no difference to our relationship.

I still have it, and every so often I think I need to sell it because it just sits in my drawer looking lonely.

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 1:06:41 PM

Shlawberry

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I will take the collar off for work, but I will have a tattoo. I am a tpe so once it is done, there is no uncollaring for any reason, not the physical collar, but the consideration of him as my Master, doesn't come off ever. Why would he ever uncollar me? I will earn the honor of wearing his collar everyday, so have nothing to worry about as far as that goes.

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 1:21:58 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shlawberry

there is no uncollaring for any reason

That's ridiculous.

quote:

Why would he ever uncollar me?

For the same reason that any relationship ends: Because it's not working.

This concept that you can't leave and he will never leave is not realistic. While the relationship may last until the end of your days, it also may not. Forcing yourselves to stay in an unhappy relationship to fulfill a fantasy version of a relationship is toxic, destructive and childish.

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Post #: 52

RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 4:03:12 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shlawberry
I will take the collar off for work, but I will have a tattoo. I am a tpe so once it is done, there is no uncollaring for any reason, not the physical collar, but the consideration of him as my Master, doesn't come off ever. Why would he ever uncollar me? I will earn the honor of wearing his collar everyday, so have nothing to worry about as far as that goes.

With all due respect, and pardon my language...

Bullshit.

Would you like a full list of reasons that someone's collar can and should be removed? And I do mean *everything* that someone from the /s side of the slash has actually done?

You may be a wonderful person. However, not everybody who picks that "s" label from the drop down menu is a decent human being. When we start talking about s-types that return to their drug addiction, engage in child abuse, cheat on their partners sexually, (and even bring home the 'gift that keeps on giving) are compulsive liars, manipulators, kleptomaniacs, physical, mental, emotional, and property abuse of their Dominant, and at least sixteen other reasons that are perfectly legitimate to put someone out of your life?

When you are ready to talk about those situations, too? I'll be right here waiting.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 4:40:36 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shlawberry
I will take the collar off for work, but I will have a tattoo. I am a tpe so once it is done, there is no uncollaring for any reason, not the physical collar, but the consideration of him as my Master, doesn't come off ever. Why would he ever uncollar me? I will earn the honor of wearing his collar everyday, so have nothing to worry about as far as that goes.

With all due respect, and pardon my language...

Bullshit.

Would you like a full list of reasons that someone's collar can and should be removed? And I do mean *everything* that someone from the /s side of the slash has actually done?

You may be a wonderful person. However, not everybody who picks that "s" label from the drop down menu is a decent human being. When we start talking about s-types that return to their drug addiction, engage in child abuse, cheat on their partners sexually, (and even bring home the 'gift that keeps on giving) are compulsive liars, manipulators, kleptomaniacs, physical, mental, emotional, and property abuse of their Dominant, and at least sixteen other reasons that are perfectly legitimate to put someone out of your life?

When you are ready to talk about those situations, too? I'll be right here waiting.

I'm curious as to how long the relationship has existed.

I'll also add that she and I clearly have a different definition of TPE.

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 5:23:11 PM

kiwisub22

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Hate to be harsh but I have to agree. My Sir died. Was I supposed to stay in the house and never look for another. Didn't.....
Given the statistics of relationships failing, I wouldn't ever say never..........

You can say you would never leave as much as you want, but the reality is that all you have to do is open the door and walk out. Would you really stay with your dom if you no longer loved or respected him, if he beat you or your (hypothetical) children or your dog? Life changes, and so do we.

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Post #: 55

RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 9:38:35 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I'm curious as to how long the relationship has existed.

I'll also add that she and I clearly have a different definition of TPE.

Do you mean from my comment?

In the case of the female s-type going back to her drug addiction, it hit the guy HARD. I have never seen it as anything less that him HAVING to put her out of his life. Not just for him, but for their son as well.

The 'gift that keeps on giving gal"? After she told me what she was doing, I made my position clear. Either stop having unprotected sex with random guys or "D" will be told. By ME. I did so. I would do it again.

The lunatic who was stalking a friend of mine going so far as to leave dead animals on their porch? They were involved multiple years.

The woman who got her former Dom fired from his teaching profession? Two years.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 10:08:29 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I'm curious as to how long the relationship has existed.

I'll also add that she and I clearly have a different definition of TPE.

Do you mean from my comment?

In the case of the female s-type going back to her drug addiction, it hit the guy HARD. I have never seen it as anything less that him HAVING to put her out of his life. Not just for him, but for their son as well.

The 'gift that keeps on giving gal"? After she told me what she was doing, I made my position clear. Either stop having unprotected sex with random guys or "D" will be told. By ME. I did so. I would do it again.

The lunatic who was stalking a friend of mine going so far as to leave dead animals on their porch? They were involved multiple years.

The woman who got her former Dom fired from his teaching profession? Two years.

I was agreeing with your bullshit call and I'm curious how long that poster's relationship has existed in that she believes in the "never uncollared" spiel. She emailed me and said she was TPE too. But, clearly, we have different definitions of that term.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/26/2016 10:14:22 PM

LadyPact

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Gotcha.

Have to admit, I have very little patience these days for those who have indulged themselves with the sprinkling of the fairy dust or drinkers of the kink Kool-Aid.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/27/2016 1:21:42 PM

Shlawberry

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but the kink koolaid is so gooood...

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RE: If you are collared? - 9/27/2016 1:24:50 PM

Shlawberry

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It's technically only uncollared for the serious problems like what was mentioned. But when you eliminate those cause you don't do those, there are still the terrible dreaded falling out of love or respect that could happen. I hope it never does.

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