If you are collared? (Full Version)

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Feelingalone -> If you are collared? (1/19/2016 3:11:04 PM)

I was wondering, if you are in a long term relationship or even married to the person who you allowed to take ownership with collaring, When would you decide to remove that collar? What would be some of the reasons you would no longer want to be collared but still love and adore that person because you have no plans on leaving them. Just removing that symbol of ownership.



littleone35 -> RE: If you are collared? (1/19/2016 4:00:21 PM)

I am very happy to belong to him. I can't think of any reason i would want my collar removed. Even if he did remove that outward sign the mwntal collar on my mind and heart wouls still be there.. For me the physical collar is only a symbol , the mental collar is much stronger.

Matt's littleone



littlewonder -> RE: If you are collared? (1/20/2016 5:45:39 PM)

It would end our relationship. Period.



peppermint -> RE: If you are collared? (1/20/2016 7:32:49 PM)

I have no idea. I have never sat around thinking about what might or could happen that would make me wish to give him back his collar. If it happens, then it happens, but I am not going to plan for something like that in advance. That special something may never happen.



DesFIP -> RE: If you are collared? (1/21/2016 7:43:17 AM)

Removing the collar does not automatically end the relationship any more than taking off your wedding ring means you're not married.

I rarely wear mine. Basically, I hate things around my neck.

I'm still his.



OsideGirl -> RE: If you are collared? (1/21/2016 12:30:30 PM)

I'm assuming you're that you're talking about ceasing to have a D/s relationship, but remaining in the relationship.

Our relationship since day one has been based on D/s and we have a TPE relationship - I would imagine the only way it would cease is if the relationship ended.



spellslave -> RE: If you are collared? (1/22/2016 6:06:30 AM)

The collar doesn't mean a lot between me and Master. Or at least, it means more to me than it does to him. He isn't concerned whether I wear one or not, as the dynamic is still there regardless. To me, it is far more important to show that I am taken in that respect. So, not wearing a collar would make no difference.



Kana -> RE: If you are collared? (1/22/2016 12:14:48 PM)

The collar is the same as a wedding ring-it's a physical and public assertion of a decision long ago made in the heart.
To not want the statement implies that the internal connection is not the same or has shifted, thus, I am no longer the person she once fell for



ResidentSadist -> RE: If you are collared? (1/24/2016 7:45:56 PM)

I married her just to get a property receipt from the state. So the marriage is an extension of our BDSM relationship. I would have to divorce her too.



Kana -> RE: If you are collared? (1/25/2016 10:42:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I married her just to get a property receipt from the state. So the marriage is an extension of our BDSM relationship. I would have to divorce her too.

I always thought that were I ever to marry a slave, I'd have a prenup annulling it should things go sideways or at my option.
In one fell swoop of the pen it can be as if it never occurred.
That way I can dissolve the union with a single word the same way I could a bound interactions.

That way I wouldn't ever have to consider or do cost/benefit analysis (other than the emotional kind which is always present) that could impact the power dynamic.



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: If you are collared? (1/25/2016 11:50:48 AM)

Hypothetically speaking, I would remove the bell from the neck if the cow was milked to long for free. ( not merely meaning monetarily)
If certain interests and needs couldn't be met. Compatibility is very important. It becomes even more important overtime.



Kittkatt71 -> RE: If you are collared? (1/26/2016 9:46:10 AM)

I know when Master first put the collar around my neck, I was his mind, body and soul. He can take the collar from my neck but he cant replace how I will ever feel about him. Hard part for a devoted sub is when the Dom/Master cuts ties. They are often left emotionally hurt and the trust issues start at that point. So if your strong enough to get through an uncollaring you are a strong person.



mousekabob -> RE: If you are collared? (1/26/2016 5:19:12 PM)

eerr...not all subs/slaves feel that way about an uncollaring or ending a relationship or whatever the hell you call it. For me, if a relationship ends, it simply ends...I move on with my life and that's that. I'm at an age in my life where I'm just not going to let it interfere with the rest of my life. Life goes on.



OsideGirl -> RE: If you are collared? (1/26/2016 5:23:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittkatt71

I know when Master first put the collar around my neck, I was his mind, body and soul. He can take the collar from my neck but he cant replace how I will ever feel about him. Hard part for a devoted sub is when the Dom/Master cuts ties. They are often left emotionally hurt and the trust issues start at that point. So if your strong enough to get through an uncollaring you are a strong person.


1) It's a relationship. Period. It's no more or less painful than any relationship ending.

2) I find it distasteful when people paint submissives as weak and unable to cope.



ResidentSadist -> RE: If you are collared? (1/28/2016 1:29:52 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I married her just to get a property receipt from the state. So the marriage is an extension of our BDSM relationship. I would have to divorce her too.

I always thought that were I ever to marry a slave, I'd have a prenup annulling it should things go sideways or at my option.
In one fell swoop of the pen it can be as if it never occurred.
That way I can dissolve the union with a single word the same way I could a bound interactions.

That way I wouldn't ever have to consider or do cost/benefit analysis (other than the emotional kind which is always present) that could impact the power dynamic.

Prenups are never a bad idea.... especially if it frees your mind to embrace the power dynamic more fully.



Kana -> RE: If you are collared? (1/28/2016 1:33:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I married her just to get a property receipt from the state. So the marriage is an extension of our BDSM relationship. I would have to divorce her too.

I always thought that were I ever to marry a slave, I'd have a prenup annulling it should things go sideways or at my option.
In one fell swoop of the pen it can be as if it never occurred.
That way I can dissolve the union with a single word the same way I could a bound interactions.

That way I wouldn't ever have to consider or do cost/benefit analysis (other than the emotional kind which is always present) that could impact the power dynamic.

Prenups are never a bad idea.... especially if it frees your mind to embrace the power dynamic more fully.

When I was a financial adviser we used to tell clients the single biggest mistake a big earner can make is getting married.
The second biggest is getting divorced



Spiritedsub2 -> RE: If you are collared? (1/28/2016 2:41:36 PM)

It's cheaper to keep her.



Commonplace -> RE: If you are collared? (2/4/2016 2:35:12 AM)

I've taken my collar off and given it back to him. Nothing about our marriage changed.

He was making really bad decisions. Not just one or two but dozens of them over a few months. One almost caused a car accident and the other resulted in him breaking a long standing promise. He asked me to trust him to make the decisions necessary in our life, I agreed to him doing so. He chose to make the wrong decisions. I decided I couldn't trust him to keep making them. So I took it off. He spent the next few weeks proving to me why my initial decision to trust him was the right one.

I put it back on when I realised I no longer froze and wondered what could go wrong when a decision had to be made.

I still loved him, respected him, wanted to be his wife. I just needed to feel safe in my decision to surrender decision making.



personagrata -> RE: If you are collared? (2/6/2016 9:04:08 PM)

Once collared, there is no going back. Nothing will be the same. Collars are removed, but the relationship will not be as it was before. Maybe a "just friends" type, and eventually, you drift apart.



Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: If you are collared? (2/7/2016 7:40:44 AM)

I was once collared. I did not understand the full meaning of it, until much later. In time people hopefully become wiser. Ask all the questions, don't be blind.
I am no longer collared. I think It was used twice btw, then I was never to see it again.
I bought the collar and designed how it would be personalized. In my eyes under these circumstances IT IS/WAS my collar. When I asked for it back, it got lost in a move. Oh BS!
Anyway, taking that symbol off of you is no different then basically ending any relationship. I think the difference and maybe the fallacy that it's a harder break up, is because the collared give up a type of dream/fantasy that is very hard to do.
Once you realize some of the relationship was basically smoke and mirrors, and omissions the. It's very easy. It may take you some time to get there. Also, a few will find giving up your own wishes and wants and needs sucks. It's according to the master you have to of course, and the personality of the sub.
Once you get to a certain point it pretty much means nothing. It fades into a distant memory.



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