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crying - 4/11/2004 7:14:51 PM

ZenMaster

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I'm sure this topic has been posted in the past but it's a first for me so I thought I'd bring it up.

I now have a new slave and we are doing very nicely together. However, I am seeing that when we scene, she cries. This is a first for her and for me as well. she has been in the lifestyle for 2 years and I have been in it for close to 20 and neither of us has had this type of experience. Yes, I have made others cry during a scene but it wasn't quite like this. I will scene very lightly with her and the tears will fall. she doesn't understand what's happening and neither do I. she claims she has scened very heavily in the past, and never cried, but this was, of course, with Tops as opposed to someone who is a Master to her. I am her first Master.

My question is, have any of you experienced such and if so, why and what became of it? I really don't see it as a problem but more so as a situation I am trying to figure out.

I look forward to any replys I may get on this topic and show my appreciation in advance.

ZM

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RE: crying - 4/11/2004 7:34:23 PM

SherriA

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For *me* (and I don't pretend to speak for or understand anyone else), tears can be very cathartic. It can simply be another avenue of release - of tension, stress, upset, anger, joy, or other strong feelings. Tears aren't necessarily a negative thing, and I often feel wonderfully refreshed after shedding them. I don't generally cry because of "pain", but it often happens when I'm able to *really* let go.

-- Sherri

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RE: crying - 4/11/2004 8:15:42 PM

proudsub

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quote:

I now have a new slave and we are doing very nicely together. However, I am seeing that when we scene, she cries.

My guess is they are tears of joy, she is loving her state of submission. However if she is going through menopause it may be a hormonal thing, i don't know her age.

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RE: crying - 4/11/2004 9:27:54 PM

MistressKiss

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I agree...it's most likely a form of release for her and she may not know what from. This is very possible. I have done it myself. I would be in scene, usually close to subspace and then suddenly feel the emotion of tears. I don't say that in a negative way - because it was not negative. You know...sometimes I think we just need to cry. Think of how much better we often feel afterwards. I see it as a physical release of tightly wound emotions. I am sure you are giving her wonderful aftercare. Don't expect anything to be "wrong" because mostly likely, that is not the issue. However, let me suggest this, since she doesn't seem to know the root of the tears. Have her journal after this happens. Insist that she write her exact feelings and exactly what she was thinking when the tears began. With a bit of patience and introspection, I would guess she'll know fairly soon why this happens. And don't be suprised if it is related to gratefulness, thankfulness, relief, etc. It may be a very positive emotional root. Best wishes. Keep us posted...I'm interested.

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RE: crying - 4/12/2004 6:14:18 AM

ZenMaster

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I appreciate the posts thus far. she should be posting soon as we discussed the fact that I posted this topic already. W/we both agree that it is probably some form of emotional release but neither of us are quite sure what it is. I am also teaching her how to do Vipassana (Insight Meditation) so that too should help her identify what feelings are there. And if she never is able to identify them, that's fine too. I certainly don't see any of this as negative but simply a clearer understanding of the self. And to think people spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on psychotherapy when all they have to do is get a good flogging. (eg)

Thank you all for your input and may you be happy.

ZM

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RE: crying - 4/14/2004 2:04:34 AM

EsotericEnigma

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from my personal experience, anytime i have an intense sensation (physical, mental, emotional.. be it good or bad) i cry. perhaps her feelings are more intense with you than she's previously experienced, and her primal instinct is just try cry. if it were a bad sort of crying, like a flashback or something of that genre the feeling of crying is much different and very easy to distinguish between pleasure...

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RE: crying - 4/14/2004 3:18:16 PM

ZenMaster

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericEnigma

from my personal experience, anytime i have an intense sensation (physical, mental, emotional.. be it good or bad) i cry. perhaps her feelings are more intense with you than she's previously experienced, and her primal instinct is just try cry. if it were a bad sort of crying, like a flashback or something of that genre the feeling of crying is much different and very easy to distinguish between pleasure...

Yes, she claims that her feelings are more intense since she has been with me. I'm sure that has a lot to do with her crying. As far as a flashback of some type of trauma in the past, I have asked her that because that was the first thing I thought of but she said it wasn't that at all.

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