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Being hurt - 8/16/2016 2:39:42 PM

Subgirl4dominant

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/12/2016
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I know it says positive experiences but I need to share my story somewhere. Hope you will understand.
He was my first dominant man and as things are going probably the last one. In every day life I am gentle, femine and very very romantic so finding the right dom was mildly put it a bit of a challenge. I was lucky and found someone who took the time and efford to get to know me, to made me feel special. We did things I could never imagine doing and it felt so good being his little girl. I knew from the start it will not lead into a future together but I was still hoping because it felt like I am home when with him.
We ended. After that we tried a threesome with another girl. I guess I was not ready for something like that. It became the worst experience ever. Mostly because I felt like a third wheel. I guess if I would got more attention than the other girl I would be fine. Or at least the same. But instead she got all the attention and he was following her like a lost puppy. It hurt me to see the man I adored was infatuated with a girl that had no feelings towards him. It broke my heart.
I always thought that a real dominant man is not like a normal, vanilla man. Any regural guy would chase the most a girl that is hard to get. A dom would appreciate a girl which would do anything for him. A girl that would prove herself to him. I guess I was wrong.
I learned a hard lesson. I probably am too fragile for all this bdsm play. It will take me quite a while to get back to normal, to be myself again, to be whole again.
Thank you for listening.

RE: Being hurt - 8/16/2016 2:49:02 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subgirl4dominant

I know it says positive experiences but I need to share my story somewhere. Hope you will understand.
He was my first dominant man and as things are going probably the last one. In every day life I am gentle, femine and very very romantic so finding the right dom was mildly put it a bit of a challenge. I was lucky and found someone who took the time and efford to get to know me, to made me feel special. We did things I could never imagine doing and it felt so good being his little girl. I knew from the start it will not lead into a future together but I was still hoping because it felt like I am home when with him.
We ended. After that we tried a threesome with another girl. I guess I was not ready for something like that. It became the worst experience ever. Mostly because I felt like a third wheel. I guess if I would got more attention than the other girl I would be fine. Or at least the same. But instead she got all the attention and he was following her like a lost puppy. It hurt me to see the man I adored was infatuated with a girl that had no feelings towards him. It broke my heart.
I always thought that a real dominant man is not like a normal, vanilla man. Any regural guy would chase the most a girl that is hard to get. A dom would appreciate a girl which would do anything for him. A girl that would prove herself to him. I guess I was wrong.
I learned a hard lesson. I probably am too fragile for all this bdsm play. It will take me quite a while to get back to normal, to be myself again, to be whole again.
Thank you for listening.

I'm only going to give one piece of advice - in the end D/s is only a relationship and the people in it can be just as flawed as any other relationship.

Now that's been said, I'm sorry that you've been hurt. Take some time, heal yourself and then sit down, figure out exactly what you want and don't settle.

Good luck and keep your chin up.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Subgirl4dominant)

RE: Being hurt - 8/28/2016 9:12:50 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/31/2016
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sad story, I hope I'll never make that mistake, I guess that's all I can say.

but heal and keep looking!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Being hurt - 8/28/2016 10:58:01 AM

Posts: 38
Joined: 8/19/2016
Status: offline

D/s relationships are no different then any other form of dating, I'm feel for you dear, but like in any relationship there are ups and down's to face, you cannot simply give up because of one bad scene, we all face them but as OsideGirl says above, take time for you, find what you want a pursue it and do not settle for less most of all don't loose faith in yourself you are a treasure to someone out there, don't let his mistake become yours

(in reply to dutchPetTamer)

RE: Being hurt - 8/29/2016 7:03:53 AM

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subgirl4dominant

I know it says positive experiences but I need to share my story somewhere. Hope you will understand.

You did share your story, in your journal on the same date.

You say you will be deleting your profile. There is no need to close your account; you can simply put your profile on Hide. Indefinitely, if you choose, until you are ready to return, reactivate it, revamp it, what-have-you.

However, I cannot help but notice that your two photos are "borrowed" Internet pics. As long as you keep your profile up, if you do not want a man misrepresenting himself and his intentions to you, then you should not misrepresent yourself either.

Capiche, dear? -- Lisa

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to Subgirl4dominant)

RE: Being hurt - 8/29/2016 11:25:37 AM

SuzyHolewrecker

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/10/2015
Status: offline

try focusing on how you can please rather than how much attention someone else is getting? seems a person with a very very romantic heart would be better suited on one of the various dating channels. Less likely to be "hurt" ???
welcome to the forums!

(in reply to HoneyBears)

RE: Being hurt - 8/29/2016 11:41:27 AM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzyHolewrecker

try focusing on how you can please rather than how much attention someone else is getting? seems a person with a very very romantic heart would be better suited on one of the various dating channels. Less likely to be "hurt" ???
welcome to the forums!

It's funny that you think that's the problem.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SuzyHolewrecker)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 1:19:05 PM

Posts: 274
Joined: 10/25/2008
Status: offline

there are no genuine women on here= zero
op you seem fake rove otherwise to me or anyone elskse
I clamp down

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 1:25:48 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
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Will you stop this incessant whining WD??

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“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to wickedsdesires)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 1:30:18 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijZRCIrTgQc

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 1:44:22 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Will you stop this incessant whining WD??

Yeah, his empathy for others is astounding. "Oh, you're hurt? Let me kick you to make myself feel better."

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 2:04:46 PM

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
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ok well i have WD on ignore so he has more than one account with his name because the one that he posted up above has an extra S, this guys a total fruitcake.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 6:46:17 PM

SuzyHolewrecker

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/10/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzyHolewrecker

try focusing on how you can please rather than how much attention someone else is getting? seems a person with a very very romantic heart would be better suited on one of the various dating channels. Less likely to be "hurt" ???
welcome to the forums!

It's funny that you think that's the problem.

after reading through what she had to say, yes, i focused on that. it sounded like she had encouraged Him to find another girl to play with then she didnt like the one He found. Like i heard say, it's all about negotiations, yes? Listen to how it sounds: she got more attention he followed her around i was jealous" Well?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 8:52:40 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzyHolewrecker

after reading through what she had to say, yes, i focused on that. it sounded like she had encouraged Him to find another girl to play with then she didnt like the one He found. Like i heard say, it's all about negotiations, yes? Listen to how it sounds: she got more attention he followed her around i was jealous" Well?

They're not a couple.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subgirl4dominant

We ended. After that we tried a threesome with another girl. I guess I was not ready for something like that.

<snip>
I always thought that a real dominant man is not like a normal, vanilla man. Any regural guy would chase the most a girl that is hard to get. A dom would appreciate a girl which would do anything for him. A girl that would prove herself to him. I guess I was wrong.

So, essentially, she was not emotionally ready to be in a threesome with someone she still had feelings for and she has unrealistic, omnipotent ideas of what a Dominant man is.

And your response is:

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzyHolewrecker

try focusing on how you can please rather than how much attention someone else is getting?

Why should she focus on pleasing at this point? She's not in a relationship with him. She's unlikely to ever have a threesome with him and his new girl ever again. So, being pleasing is a moot point.

What she needs to do is get herself together, get some realistic views on D/s and realize that she's not the type of person that does well in a multiple partner scenario.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 8/31/2016 8:57:44 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SuzyHolewrecker)

RE: Being hurt - 8/31/2016 10:38:10 PM

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I am going to take a stab at just one short (but not insignificant) part of your post:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subgirl4dominant

I always thought that a real dominant man is not like a normal, vanilla man.

While we try not to use the word "real" around here (because of the ambiguity of what that means to different people), I think if you asked most dominants, they would tell you that they are (or should be) different than their 'nilla counterparts.

I think most would tell you that they try to live by some kind of code. That doesn't mean that their code is going to match up with yours, but that's why you should take some time and truly get to know the other person before you embark on a power exchange relationship.

Just my 2¢

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Subgirl4dominant)

RE: Being hurt - 9/1/2016 3:25:00 AM

feir

Posts: 9
Joined: 7/30/2016
Status: offline

i've already been used as a booty call. i don't mind and quite enjoyed myself but it's not really what i was hoping for from this site. :)

oh well, you live and hopefully learn (apparently).

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

RE: Being hurt - 9/1/2016 3:51:34 AM

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/16/2014
Status: offline

Bingo Oside...

The OP is not wired for multiple partner play. She went for the threesome because deep down, she hoped going along with it would rekindle something between her and him, but instead got the polar opposite. Not everone is poly, nor emotionally capable of navigating those involvements.

OP take time, step back, reevaluate, decide what you NEED and what you DONT. Dont involve yourself with tops who have multiple partners or desire multiple partner play. Its not for everyone, and its never a good idea to bring in another party to please a partner/former when your relationship is unstable. Its a recipe for someone being hurt.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Being hurt - 9/13/2016 12:39:25 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 9/5/2016
From: Toowoomba queensland
Status: offline

first whose idea was the 3 some if you are 9 months prego is he still going to love you or some newbie
on the case of int net pics seems it was what she desired her man love family if so is it really a issue
after all is just a pic if he was a real dom not a pussy dom he would of taken greater care of her
as nature is not kind to females what bo they say never hit a woman i

(in reply to ServeMistrix)

RE: Being hurt - 9/13/2016 5:23:46 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ocl751

first whose idea was the 3 some if you are 9 months prego is he still going to love you or some newbie
on the case of int net pics seems it was what she desired her man love family if so is it really a issue
after all is just a pic if he was a real dom not a pussy dom he would of taken greater care of her
as nature is not kind to females what bo they say never hit a woman i

?

(in reply to ocl751)

RE: Being hurt - 9/13/2016 7:09:50 AM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

Dominant men are still first and foremost men!
As with any relationships, communication of expectations of each other is most important to see if both want the same things. Even dominants, there are many different types of dominants. This one didn't fit you. Don't give up. Finding the special one is not suppose to be easy.

(in reply to Subgirl4dominant)

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