LadyPact
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Rush30
HSV and HPV are the two STIs you can have and never know it.
If you had ANY other STD you would definitely know it!!
So, throughout your life, did you alway practice safe sex? I highly doubt it.
Asking people if they have always practiced safe sex, the possibilities that someone might lie to them about their status, bringing up what they might have done since their last test, etc are all strawman arguments. Nobody is saying none of those things can't happen, too. However, the underlying attempt of, "you could get it in other ways, so why not take the risk with someone that you know has it," just isn't going to be a compelling case.
I commend you on being honest with potential partners. I do. It's the only way for them to make an informed decision on whether or not they want to be involved with you. However, whatever they know or don't know about your infection from an educational standpoint, is inconsequential, because their decision gets to be theirs. It's not supposed to be they say no, so you're going to educated them more on the virus so they can be talked into say yes. It's almost starting to sound like coerced consent to me.
Earlier in the thread, you went with 'my kink isn't your kink (but your kink is ok)'. The premise of that is supposed to be other people get to engage in the kinks that they like, even if I don't like them. However, that doesn't mean that I have to be involved with kinks that I don't like. I still have the autonomy to make my own decisions on that, regardless of what I'm basing it on.
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Have ever been tested for herpes? You know for a fact you're " clean "?
Yes and yes.
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Do you know for a fact that every person you had sexual contact in your entire life is "clean "?
Again, you are throwing this out there, but it really doesn't matter. If I did sleep with someone in the past who either didn't tell me or weren't aware of their status, and I didn't acquire it, that just means I got lucky. It doesn't mean I have to roll the dice with the next person or increase my risks in some way because I've decided to engage with somebody that I definitely know has it.
You made the decision to become involved with your wife knowing her status. All cool for you. But you made that choice, right?
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The thing with herpes, like so many other things that you can catch or develop in your life.
It's a scary thing to think about what if I catch this or that.
From my perspective, living with herpes it IS such a MINOR thing that doesn't even come close to the stigma of having it.
Yet, minor is your perception. Let's take physical first.
You haven't gotten sick or had any outbreaks that you've talked about. That doesn't mean the person who would get it from you wouldn't. You did mention taking your anti-viral everyday, but that doesn't mean that the person who might catch it from you wouldn't get sick from the meds, themselves. We have several folks from the UK on the thread who have NHC. We're in the US. What's the financial cost for your script, doctor visits, and those things medically related? When those twenty dollar a month co-pays add up over a person's lifetime, you really are talking about thousands of dollars. Have you thought much about how insurance is vastly different among various people?
Even that is the easy stuff. You said it, yourself. The STIGMA of having it is worse. It would mean for the rest of my life having to disclose my status to every potential new partner, missing out on people who wouldn't play with me or willing to have relationships with me, having to change from having unprotected sex with my own husband, and everything else related to this area.
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You may say I'm downplaying it, you're right! I am because it is a minor thing!
Is this thread really making it sound like a 'minor' thing? Another poster said it. It's minor to you because you already have to deal with it. To other people who don't, it can be a big deal. Would I want to increase the chances of having to do a bunch of the things I've detailed thread that I just plain don't have to do today? No. I can (hopefully) avoid putting myself in that position by NOT taking on a partner that I know already has the condition that makes those things necessary.
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Would it make a difference if I had Gonorrhea? It's curable right?
No, I'm pretty sure that would matter, too.
This is also the crux of why some people, myself included, just aren't seeing this thread as the 'educational thing' that you are trying to present it as. Obviously, it's very emotional for you because it impacts your life how people see your status, so it's harder to just be factual.
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
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RE: Herpes - 
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