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Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 6:44:59 AM

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I came across this subject many years ago and always wondered why so many people are against it.

What are your views as regards this subject?

What would you say if a slave wants cnc, including being blackmailed, having finances controlled, tattoos/body mods to make is near impossible for her to be able to walk away without consequences?

< Message edited by Whitefang71 -- 9/17/2016 7:09:31 AM >

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 7:50:08 AM

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That isn't what CNC means to me. It means that I gave ongoing consent.

As far as what you want? Why would you have to keep her by impoverishing her, by making her unemployable? Why can't you inspire her to stay with you through the excellence of your decision making and by the obvious benefits that accrue to her through being in a relationship with you?

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RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 8:27:38 AM

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Oh, this is going to be fun...

I have absolutely no problem with the Cnc folks, as long as the dynamic is current. If your structure is that you get consent once, and that one-time consent is the groundwork of your dynamic, more power to ya! As long as that consent is valid, we're all good.

However, if you really believe in the concept of one time consent, why doesn't the same stand when one of those parties takes that consent away? The consent was valid when you got it. Why doesn't the same hold true when consent is removed?

My position on this entire matter is that, when either party wants to remove themselves from a dynamic, that is the end. For whatever reason they want that, it's over. There is no 'dragging them back' because they said "yes" once, if "no" or "I want out," doesn't carry the same weight.

If an s-type came to me, saying they wanted blackmail, I would consider them, immediately, incompatible. I've been the receiver of the 'outing' thing, and after experiencing that real time, I sincerely couldn't do that to somebody else. I have sincere disgust for anybody who would make the conscious decision to call someone's boss, their landlord, or (God forbid) their children, trying to "ruin" them.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to Whitefang71)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 8:50:12 AM

Gauge

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whitefang71

I came across this subject many years ago and always wondered why so many people are against it.

What are your views as regards this subject?

What would you say if a slave wants cnc, including being blackmailed, having finances controlled, tattoos/body mods to make is near impossible for her to be able to walk away without consequences?

I don't understand the dynamic personally, simply because it is a contradiction in terms.

I will say this: People that practice this type of dynamic could open themselves to criminal prosecution very easily, if one participant withdraws consent.

_____________________________

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I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Whitefang71)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 9:44:21 AM

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I've seen it happen in relationships, they have a cnc, the slave decides to go against something and next thing that happens is the cops are called.

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 10:47:57 AM

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one example I know of: because when you do that and the dom/owner decides to control you financially and you stay long enough that they have controlled all paperwork on assets, taxes, and the like, you are pretty much stuck for life, or walk away in total poverty and with a past that would be hard to rebuild anything, other than entering into a similar relationship

(in reply to LilJuly76)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 11:29:40 AM

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Monster seeks creature
Fractured creature seeks abuse from monster

Is pretty much how I see it.

Consensual non-consent

Consensual non-consent, also called meta-consent and blanket consent, is a mutual agreement to be able to act as if consent has been waived. It is an agreement where comprehensive consent is given in advance, with the intent of it being irrevocable under most circumstances. This often occurs without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned.[2][3]

Consensual non-consent is considered a show of extreme trust and understanding. It is controversial within BDSM circles, even often frowned upon due to concerns about abuse and safety. It is mainly limited to those in Owner/property and 24/7 Master/slave relationships.

In recent years the term has also been used for the practice in play sessions. In the past, the term consensual non-consent was reserved to committed relationships, while the play practice used the umbrella term of edge play. This expanded scope is contentious and the subject of acrimonious debates.

In limited parts of the online BDSM community, "consensual non-consent" is instead used to refer to rape play that includes the use of safe words. This use of the term is commonly frowned upon, especially among total power exchange lifestyle participants. Experienced practitioners of BDSM generally discourage others from using "consensual non-consent" to indicate rape play. This attitude arises from the belief that it is a miscommunication potentially leading to serious and irreparable psychological harm.

Have I ever known anyone to be in these types of relationships(not sure I like using that word for this)? No. to but an extent a smaller part/aspect

I have come across a few profiles in days of olde, but allot more these days, inferring this is what they offer/desire - usually married men or money vortexes or some misbegotten stereotype laying them out as his credentials, and the money parasites. Many of these profiles actually make me laugh out loud

(in reply to Daddyplsfindme)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 1:48:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whitefang71

I came across this subject many years ago and always wondered why so many people are against it.

What are your views as regards this subject?

What would you say if a slave wants cnc, including being blackmailed, having finances controlled, tattoos/body mods to make is near impossible for her to be able to walk away without consequences?

I agree with Des - that isn't what I consider CNC. CNC is a blanket consent, meaning that our limits have been laid out and as long as those are not touched, we don't need to give consent for every event/situation. (M and I have a CNC TPE relationship)

It's not something that I consider to be something you engage in from day 1. It's something that requires trust and communication.

And lastly, why would be you so vindictive that you want to "make is near impossible for her to be able to walk away without consequences"? Even if that what the "slave" wants, it's your duty as Dominant to judge that it's not a healthy situation.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/17/2016 1:50:19 PM >

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RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 4:58:29 PM

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oh I heard that happen to so I tell them go to the cops, and their usual response is "I don't have the right to because I'm a submissive." that's when I want to slap them into reality.

(in reply to Daddyplsfindme)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 5:19:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

oh I heard that happen to so I tell them go to the cops, and their usual response is "I don't have the right to because I'm a submissive." that's when I want to slap them into reality.

IMO, any Dominant that would even consider doing what the "slave" in the OP wants done, isn't worth his/her salt. And honestly, he should be asking some serious, serious question, because I'd worry about the psyche of someone that wants that done to them.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LilJuly76)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 5:39:29 PM

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Well, it's obvious why he's doing this. Because he's incapable of earning trust and respect through his words and actions.

Since he can't get a woman to willingly follow him, he's fine with compelling someone who is unwilling.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 5:47:01 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Well, it's obvious why he's doing this. Because he's incapable of earning trust and respect through his words and actions.

Since he can't get a woman to willingly follow him, he's fine with compelling someone who is unwilling.

But, the things is...this is the "slave's" idea....and he's willing to go along.

It's not about the "slave" being unwilling. It's about being with someone that has some serious issues and going along with it because it's pussy and can be justified as some twisted version of "CnC"".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 7:14:21 PM

Kana

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She gave consent once.
She can always take it back.
But if she did, the foundational terms and basis of the relationship would be altered and likely, there would be no relationship at al when the dust cleared.
CNC is the cornerstone of all that we do.

_____________________________

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HST

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 7:37:35 PM

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I am of the belief and i am quite mad and msing one of y 3 cats
no man has ever met a women via this site, or that other,..there may be the odd loon who requires locked up in the bin of zany loons and will regale me in a narratives otherwise of >0.01%
(please lord) No doubt the zany loons will beseech my inbox
I do as i please - i actually do not because I have problems fnding another

I do as i please - i actually do not because I have problems fnding another

And i am led to believe the vulnerable, rejects of wicked, are conned out cake cash or raped...sorry i am occupied elsewhere

I am a tad bored i blame all

(in reply to Kana)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 7:41:34 PM

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CNC is the core of what makes me wet in BDSM.

BUT, I think the extent of it. Like, I am just a bedroom CNC. But definitely not for blackmail, finance control, basically making it impossible for her to walk away? That's not my idea of CNC!

There is the first big C in CNC, which for it to always be consensual, she needs to always be able to walk away.

Although I do see it could be a form of CNC.

In another words, CNC just like D/S just like BDSM itself still have alot of variables!

But I guess the most important word in CNC is, CONSENSUAL still! So you can have all you want as long as you find a woman to consent to it continuously.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/17/2016 8:21:47 PM >

(in reply to Whitefang71)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/17/2016 8:25:51 PM

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I don't practice it, and I don't think I've known anyone that has.

Your question and profile make me think that you want to begin with CNC instead of beginning as D/s and working towards it. That would concern me a LOT.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Consensual non consent - 9/18/2016 12:07:26 AM

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In response to a couple of the posters here, I'm a little off (not to mention a bit toppy head space wise) because I do know a number of CnC folks. I'm not real comfy with the OP's description of "hearing about it many years ago," because I didn't see a lot of people describing their dynamics that way until roughly 2010-2011 time frame. (It was almost like a new fad at the time.) Before that? More M/s or even O/p. CnC, to me, didn't become the 'in vogue' kind of deal that it is now until just a few years back, so I'm not really hanging with the 'many years ago thing'. I guess I'm just at the age now that five doesn't equal "many".

(Sorry, guys. I really am endorphin flooded loopy at the moment, so if I'm not making sense, I apologize.)

I've got comments on other threads regarding CnC. Personally, I see CnC folks in two camps. Those who do the view as I described above. Yes, that one time blanket consent means it covers everything from the time the s-type enters the dynamic and all it entails until such time as either of the parties wants to end the dynamic. At such time, consent has been withdrawn. The parties either go their separate ways or some renegotiate the dynamic but the CnC is game over. I'm pretty much in this camp because anybody has the human right to say they are finished.

Then, there is the other camp. That camp says that one time consent is for life, no matter what. Get that consent the one time, and even if one of the parties wants to withdraw that consent, as long as one of the parties still wants the dynamic to persist, the dynamic is still valid. Doesn't matter what the person who wants the dynamic has to do to drag the person who wants to leave back into their lives. Even the most extreme stuff. I'm not against most people's kinks but I mean the stuff that I just can't see as kink, any more.

I will say one thing in the second camp's defense. When it comes to people that I know (meaning real life "know," not the crap you see fantasists type up on internet boards because they think it's so hot to have or be a captive forever) there's no imbalance in talking with either side of the slash. The s-types are just as on board as the M's. They *want* their Masters to drag them back, kicking and screaming, if necessary. They *want* the security that their "Daddy" to retrieve them from wherever they have removed themselves to, because they say, it makes them feel secure.

My hang up with this? It's because none of the people who proclaim this have really wanted to leave yet. I don't mean the hothead situations where leaving sounds good at the time, but it's not really what the person wants to do. I mean the sound decisions where a person absolutely wants out and wanting to leave that dynamic is a final decision. I've had a couple of very difficult face to face discussions on the matter. Even as outspoken as I can be at times, they weren't conversations that I wanted to have, and thankfully, those conversations hasn't come to fruition. If they did, I'll be siding with the person who wants to leave.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/18/2016 2:36:19 AM

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Ok let me get a few things straight as some of you seem to have jumped to the wrong conclusions:

1 - I have not agreed to it
2 - I was only asking what people thought about it
3 - It has been around for many years - ok maybe not known as CNC then but it has been around.
4 - As to someone's comment about not starting with D/s first - I have been in the lifestyle many years and been living D/s for most of that time.
5 - Just because someone wants that doesn't mean it is going to happen

When I started in this lifestyle I was taught that whether you are a Dom/me or a sub you should never presume anything obviously some people weren't taught that - don't be quick to judge someone just because they are asking about something you don't agree with it doesn't mean they are going to do it or are doing it.

Thank you to the ones that gave informative and constructive opinions - much appreciated.

< Message edited by Whitefang71 -- 9/18/2016 3:06:26 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Consensual non consent - 9/18/2016 4:47:14 AM

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maybe they are a mentally abused slave? who knows.

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RE: Consensual non consent - 9/18/2016 2:16:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whitefang71
a slave wants cnc, including being blackmailed, having finances controlled, tattoos/body mods to make is near impossible for her to be able to walk away without consequences

These are those who want the fantasy of non-consent, where the blackmail, the control, the consequences, these are all things they explicitly want, but they also want to pretend that they are being "forced into it". This camp is a demographic, not a dynamic, and not to be confused with the people ad arrangements LadyPact spoke on.

(in reply to Whitefang71)

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