Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: pain


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: pain Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: pain - 11/13/2016 9:30:02 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
Re sting vs thud, well so far I am not really sure if I have a real favourite as it tends to vary with my mood, but if I had to pick one, well sorry, but I go for sting.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: pain - 11/13/2016 11:17:24 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
Well, I do like it when he grabs me by the throat and fucks me really hard while he tells me how women lack the spatial reasoning to properly parallel park.

;)

Lol, that would like so piss me off, and kill my mood.
But that's why you are perfect for Awareness. That is so him. And you just really like him for him.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: pain - 11/14/2016 6:55:12 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

What kind of play do you enjoy?




Well, I do like it when he grabs me by the throat and fucks me really hard while he tells me how women lack the spatial reasoning to properly parallel park.

;)



Yeah that wouldn't work for me.

In addition to being in the 99.98th percentile on spacial reasoning myself, my mom is a driving instructor focusing specifically on 'difficult students' (people with autism, traumatic experiences, etc). She taught me to parallel park both from the driver's side of the car, as well as from the passenger's side of the car (reaching over taking the wheel from the driver, and using the pedals on the passenger side which her instructor car is equipped with).

Besides that, you don't actually need any spacial reasoning to parallel park as long as you have been taught the correct cues on which you're supposed to do what. It's paint by numbers.

I'd end up being distracted on having to correct his 'wrongness' and going "well actually..." is kinda a mood killer in those kind of situations.


Context, Ishtar - she was telling a joke.

I'd actually say that women lack the spatial ability to drive, because their targeting is woefully inferior to ours. Besides, do people who fuck you generally let you talk that much?

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: pain - 11/14/2016 7:27:14 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Context, Ishtar - she was telling a joke.



So you're not an evil misogynist in bed??? That's even worse than not being a sadist! Stop ruining all my fantasies! I always pictured you as one of those guys who could talk trash to a girl in this most highbrow of ways.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

I'd actually say that women lack the spatial ability to drive, because their targeting is woefully inferior to ours.


I'd agree with that. Whenever you see a driver do some particularly stupid maneuver on the road, I'd bet on her being a woman.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Besides, do people who fuck you generally let you talk that much?


I'm very hard to shut up. And unless you just got done beating me to tears, I'm a total brat in bed. Usually the only way to shut me up is to go into breath play... which is what I want you to do anyways, so it kinda ends up enforcing the bad habit of: I'm going to talk until you psychically shut me up dammit!
Most guys are sorta bad at keeping a clear head about long term training goals once you get their cocks hard, ya know...


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: pain - 11/14/2016 8:03:14 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
Well, I do like it when he grabs me by the throat and fucks me really hard while he tells me how women lack the spatial reasoning to properly parallel park.

;)

You do realize I can't take this seriously coming from somebody who doesn't know how to drive on the right side of the road or brake in the snow?



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: pain - 11/14/2016 9:13:46 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Now I can't parallel park. Because I didn't learn to drive till my late 30s. Nobody in their right mind drives in Manhattan.

But my daughter could drive a quarter mile in reverse by age 14. And parallel park. Because she grew up driving farm vehicles. Cars are nothing compared to manure spreaders.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 3:29:19 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline
Pain is not my thing i am not a maso, i guess that is why i am not with a sadist.
I can't get past the pain part to get to the pleasure part cause Master does not like to hurt me. I do have to admit i like "funishment" spankings.
I guess the only thng Master does that hurts is he likes to squeeze and bite my nipples. I mean after a while they get a little sore and it hurts more than usual.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 4:07:29 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
Sometimes I wish I wasn't a maso

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 6:45:32 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I mean I have just recently accepted the fact that I am a masochist and so really started to explore it when I got pregnant (It seems that a guy gets very unwilling to beat on you when your carrying his child)



Try being pregant with a guy who doesn't even want to fuck you from the time you start showing because he's worried his massive (yeah no) dick would hurt the baby.

Hint... I don't recommend it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

which led me to be really fucked up for many years, it was a really dark and hurt filled place in my life, and I am really scared of ever going back there, so I don't do a lot of deep self-examination for fear of where it might take me.

I know that some of why I like some of the things I do is,because I still have a lingering feeling that I somehow deserve it, and I m afraid to go down that rabbit hole again for fear that I will start to really believe it again or once again be driven to seek oblivion and get back into the booze and dope. So instead I just try to accept that I like some really messed up shit and leave it at that.



Not the same thing by a mile, but I was bullied bad enough in school that it gave me anxiety attacks that used to have me had to stop my bike on the way to school half a dozen time each morning to throw up. I had a pretty bad situation at home too, with my parents basically hating eachother, fighting every night, and only staying married because of financial reason.

Once I hit my teens, I quickly found out that older guys did like me, as long as I put out. So in an attempt to finally find the acceptance I'd been looking for, I ended up skipping school, running away from home for weeks on end (I hitchhiked to the South of France by myself when I was 15) and getting lost in an endless spiral of drugs, parties, and sleeping with another guy every week (often just so I'd have a place to sleep that night).

It wasn't until I hit 18 and was finally allowed to move out of my parent's house, and started going to kink clubs, where I met a whole bunch of super awesome people who took me under their wing that I sorta started the processes of getting my shit together.
Of course, at the same time I also started a 5 year long domestic abuse relationship with the same guy who wouldn't fuck me during my pregnancy, but who had no problem bashing my face in hard enough so that I spend the majority of the time I was pregnant with black eyes, so it wasn't like all was good with me yet either... but it was a start.

After 5 years of that, we ended up at a therapist's office, in an attempt to fix the violence (which by then had become bi-directional), and at one point my therapist told me: "Sometimes it seems like you provoke him on purpose, why is that?". I spend a lot of time thinking about it in the following weeks, and finally figured out that I was indeed provoking him (not that that excuses his behavior or anything, but it's still a fact that I was) because I craved the violence on some level. It was my way of dealing with stress, or feeling insecure, or having any negative feelings I couldn't deal with... being in physical pain made it possible for me to ignore the bad shit going on in my own head.

Once I figured that out, I left him for good (we'd been on again, off again for 2 years by that point) and I purposefully took some time of kink altogether to figure out if it was even healthy for me to engage in it. Even when I started engaging in another M/s I purposefully went for a relationship where it was just a pure M/s dynamic, no play of any kind whatsoever.

In that relationship I figured out that I did really need the play, but I also realized from my past experiences that I needed to find a way to engage in it in a way that was healthy for all parties involved. When it ended, I found my current husband, and he's been my rock in guiding me into finding ways to fulfill my most depraved desires without letting me drop over the edge of self-destruction again.

I'm still somewhat cautious a lot of times about my darkest fantasies. Sometimes I don't know if it's really good for me to go there. I've found that being part of the kink community and going to clubs and events has helped me a lot on centering me to explore them in healthier ways, because the atmosphere at those places is always more "fun casual" than "dark and dangerous". It also helps a lot having other people to talk to who have similar cravings, and I've even gotten into touch with more than one other woman who has a domestic abuse background who also came through the realization that she on some level was provoking the violence to satisfy her own need to punish herself. Talking to others, and finding people to engage in kink with in a positive way has basically saved my life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I mean, I now understand that I have enjoyed pain since before my mother's death, but I am still afraid to delve into the why's of it. I know that doesn't really make a lot of sense, but that's sort of to be expected with irrational fears.



Same here, I've been engaging in self-kink and have had kink fantasies from before I was 5. I've finally just gotten to the point where I feel like I was born this way. This is how I deal with stress. This is how I pair-bond with others. This is how I level out my emotions.

I could go deeper than that, and try to figure out why that is, and how it got started, and sit down and debate whether it really is healthy or not (it certainly wasn't for me before) but I've come to the conclusion I don't need to do that. I'm a happy, stable, productive member of society right now. I've got an awesome husband who supports me, an amazing support network of friends and causal lovers/play partners who all have my best interest in mind.

Kink is enhancing my life right now. Not destroying it. My dark fantasies and tendencies aren't harming me, they're making me stronger, and I'm in control over how I incorporate them into my life, they no longer rule me.

It might not be the 'healthiest' but it doesn't need to be. I can accept that I'm just simple fucked up... and that that is alright, as long as I find a way to make it so that my fuckupness doesn't do any harm to myself or those I care about. If that means that sometimes I need to let the beast out of its cage in a controlled way and do some really sick and depraved shit, so be it. It who I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

As well, a large part of my masochism is directly sexual, by which I mean it almost has to involve some sort of fucking, I generally want at least one hole filled or a vibrator or something like that involved.



Well I'm jealous. I'd love for my kink to have more sex and hole filling in it. I've never found the right guy for that sadly. Usually for me it ends up being the moment sex starts, the kink is pretty much over, because the guy is now only focused on getting off. It's meant that I usually can't go as far as I want to go in the scene, and so I've gotten into the habit of keeping both things sorta separate. Not because that's my ideal, but because I need the scene to go all the way to where I reach my point of masochistic release and not get cut short because the guy came and just wants to role over, have a sandwich and go to sleep.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I curse them when things get intense, and so on.



Yeah me too. All my regular harder play partners know that if they're doing it right, I will curse, scream, beg, plead, attack them, try to run away, refuse to obey orders, and get hysterical.
I'm not the type of girl to quietly moan in pleasure and stand still to give the Top a good aim while I'm scening, unless we're really just doing light stuff and I'm enjoying the sensations as a sorta erotic massage.
Scenes like that aren't enough though. I need to go deeper than that from time to time or I get cranky. My husband calls it my "in need of a hard scene PMS; PSS, or post scene syndrome".

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

It's also a sort of defense mechanism in a way, sort of thinking that they won't leave me if they get anything they want, which is, when you think about it, a really fucked up way to approach things, but it is what it is.



No it's not a fucked up way to approach things at all, unless you get stuck in a place where you believe that the only thing they value in you is that you're a 'good girlfriend'.
You should believe that your Fella's care for you for who and what you are. The whole package that is you. Part of that package is that you're a 'good girlfriend' and so it is something they should value you for and a reason they shouldn't want to leave you.
It's not the only reason for not leaving you though. If you were incompatible with them in every other possible way, and were still the 'good girlfriend' who cleaned the house and gave sex on demand, that wouldn't be enough to be with you. Even a clean house and sex on demand isn't enough to put up with a person whom you don't care for in any other way.

As long as you remember that 'good girlfriend' isn't the only thing that makes you the you they care about, there's no reason it can't be part of the package of you as a person that makes them not want to leave.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I needed to have somebody "make" me do the painful or degrading stuff, but not so much anymore. However, there are some things we have started doing lately that I really do not like doing, they totally gross me out , but I do like being made to do them



I totally get that, and I've been the same way. I used to need to be 'made' to the point that asking for something 'ruined' the whole thing, because now I felt it was all about him doing something for me, instead of the other way around. I've gotten better at that over the years, and I can now ask for the things I want and need without getting in some head trip that it's somehow 'bad' to do so.
At the same time, I still really like to be 'made' to do things that I really don't want to do, just because it pleases him. I just chalk it off to my desire to feel submission on a level where I don't feel like I'm giving him a gift of my own free will, but where I'm actually submitting to his will in full, and it's his strength and Dominance that's extracting my submission from me. In that sort of submission, I'm fully 'giving in' to him. Laying with my throat bare so to speak, and allowing him to take things from me that I cannot (yet) give him myself.

I'm finally to the point where doing that sort of submission actually strengthens my self-confidence and pride, because it pushes me to heights and places I cannot go myself, which shows me every times that I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for, that I can take more than I though I could, that I can endure more than I thought I could survive, that I am capable of more by being with him than I would be on my own.
I've kinda turned it into my own personal shield: If I can do that, and be fine the next day, why on Earth would I let anything life throws me faze me?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I live with the Fella



See, I always assumed that all y'all lived together.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

they often have long discussions (I call them planning sessions) where they work out where they want to take things, and to make sure they are both OK with things one of them wants to do or try. Apparently it took the Other Fella quite a while to persuade the Fella to incorporate scat play, it kinda squicked him out and he still doesn't really like to be involved in it much.



See, jealous again.

My husband jokes that I'm the type of girl who walks into a dungeon and wants all the testosterone in the entire place to be focused exclusively on her and her alone. There's been some talk about some of the guys I play with and my husband planning something with all of them together, but so far it hasn't happened yet, and it's been a series of one-on-one things (sometimes several back to back a night).
Having 2 guys focus all their depravity exclusively on me seems like heaven to me.

Yeah, so there it is, like I said, it's sort of strange and doesn't really fit into any particular box, but hey it works for us.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

That and I kinda wish I hadn't answered because I am feeling kinda shitty about myself now.


I'm sorry. I hope my reply doesn't make it worse again.

If it does, please don't feel obligated in any way to reply.


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 7:36:05 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
Well I'm jealous. I'd love for my kink to have more sex and hole filling in it. I've never found the right guy for that sadly. Usually for me it ends up being the moment sex starts, the kink is pretty much over, because the guy is now only focused on getting off. It's meant that I usually can't go as far as I want to go in the scene, and so I've gotten into the habit of keeping both things sorta separate. Not because that's my ideal, but because I need the scene to go all the way to where I reach my point of masochistic release and not get cut short because the guy came and just wants to role over, have a sandwich and go to sleep.

Wow, you are giving me the impression that multiple cumming dominants are very difficult to find.
Which means, I got lucky with my x-dom and my current regular play partner who is just my sexual top but hella experienced as he used to date an extreme masochist who taught him alot. Both sex drive increases and want to play even more after they cum. And technically, BDSM wise, these two are my only experiences.

The rest of my regular sex are vanilla.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/15/2016 7:39:21 PM >

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 7:42:29 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
I'd actually say that women lack the spatial ability to drive, because their targeting is woefully inferior to ours. Besides, do people who fuck you generally let you talk that much?

According to car insurers though, women pay less than men around here, because they are statistically proven to be safer drivers. Ya know insurers will find any reason to charge the crap out of you. Like for example, First year drivers being most dangerous pays double the premium of a 3 year driver for example.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 7:47:05 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
I am so glad you replied, I have been anxious to see it. And wow, have we ever taken this thread for a left turn, eh?

Just a few quick thoughts, there may be more to follow.

What I am most stricken by is the similarities, the parallels in our experiences. Same sort of early masochistic leaning, same sort of descent into darkness (at around the same age), pulling out of it at around the same age, trying to do without the kink and having that fail, and in the end finding a partner who can anchor me (though I nearly blew that relationship too) and both ending up in a place where we can ask for what we want, yet also want to be made to do things we do not want, and while I haven't really thought about the why of that, your reasoning for wanting/needing that makes sense to me, I can relate to it.

I also like your take on the good girlfriend thing. :)

quote:

Having 2 guys focus all their depravity exclusively on me seems like heaven to me.

Yeah, I hit the jackpot this time.

quote:

I'm sorry. I hope my reply doesn't make it worse again.

No need to apologize. While I did feel shitty right after answering, after processing things, I am now glad you asked and I am glad I answered. And even more glad with your answer. This whole exchange has been very helpful to me, and I feel the better for having had it.



< Message edited by ThatDizzyChick -- 11/15/2016 7:48:55 PM >


_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 8:00:40 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
Another thing that struck me
quote:

going to kink clubs, where I met a whole bunch of super awesome people who took me under their wing

I had the opposite experience. In my case, my introduction to the kink community occurred when I was 15, which was the age of consent back then), and it was totally off putting. It basically consisted of creepy old men (and some women) wanting to play out incest fantasies and fuck me. Some light spankings at best, wanting me to call them Daddy or Mommy (that one I had a REAL bad reaction to, for obvious reasons, not calling them Mommy so much as them not beating the living fuck out of me). A lot of them even called me by another name, presumably the name of their daughter or niece, or whatever little girl it was they were pretending I was. In all, I was looking for rough treatment and they offered perverted (not in a good way) gentle and babying sex.

So, I have a shitty opinion of the scene as a whole, it struck me as far to pedophilic for my tastes.

Also, regarding the dark fantasies, yeah I have those as well, they are getting darker as time goes on, and I too am very cautious about even admitting to having them.

< Message edited by ThatDizzyChick -- 11/15/2016 8:05:56 PM >


_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 8:05:43 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

According to car insurers

Oh come on Greta, don't you know the automotive insurance industry is nothing but a tool of the feminists!

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 8:08:07 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
@everybody.
I hope you don't mind our having hijacked this thread for some impromptu self analysis, and I apologize if we have annoyed anybody.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 8:49:55 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I also like your take on the good girlfriend thing. :)



It's been something really hard for me to get my head wrapped around myself, because like you I end up very much being a 'good girlfriend' giving sex on demand and cleaning the house and doing the whole 'Martha Steward' thing.

However, I really really really really like micromanaging. I like it from the Top side, (I'm doing it atm with our slave girl) but I like it even more from the bottom side. My ideal is really a guy who expects me to keep the house clean to this insane level of perfection, who expects me to make sure his favorite snacks are always in the house and he gets them and a beer served on a silver platter before he even knows he wants them, who serves him to perfection in all ways at all times, and then checks up on me with a white glove and beats the tar out of me if even the slightest most insignificant thing ever gets missed.

My husband isn't like that. He likes the house clean, he likes his meals and beer and snacks to show up without him having to think about, but he's fine with me running things however I want. He doesn't check up on me. And if I think something is 'good enough' chances are he was happy with how well it got done an hour ago.

For a few years that caused a lot of issues between us. With me trying to make him micromanage me, and me constantly complaining that he wasn't making me feel submissive to him because he wasn't a hard ass, and didn't have high enough standards, and didn't enforce them. I bitched about him making me feel like he was not doing his job as my Dominant, and that he wasn't providing enough direction, and I flat out refused to do kink with him for a while (sex he still got on demand) because if he wasn't going to make me feel submissive I didn't want to play with him.

Until a friend of mine, in a casual conversation with me and a third person said to the other person "I don't know anybody who's as much a slave as Ishtar" and I'm like "huh??? what???" so I protest, and she interrupts me and said: "yeah no, any other submissive/slave I know needs their Dominant to actually boss them around on at least a certain level in order for them to obey. You're not like that. Your husband can just sit back, relax, and gets his every wish and whim fulfilled before he even has to think about wanting something enough to get to the point of giving you a command. That is real service."

I was sorta taken aback by that, but I realized she's right: He doesn't want to micromanage me. He wants me to be his magic little elf who just make stuff magically happen without him having to lift a finger... and I do that (almost) flawlessly. He gets what he wants all the time, and he doesn't even have to bother telling me what to do in order to get it.

*sigh*
Sometimes I wish it was different though, and we could have much more of an M/s dynamic outside of the bedroom too. We've tried at various times, but it falls apart because really, the house runs a lot better and more smoothly when he's not involved at all, and just sits back waiting to be served.
But it still frustrates me to no end. I still wish we could at least have play sometime (almost roleplay) where some of my desires in that direction get incorporated and he beats the tar out of me for finding a hair left behind the toilet after I cleaned the bathroom, but I guess I made my peace with the fact that it's never going to happen and that I'm just a 'good girlfriend' instead.



_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 9:03:07 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I apologize if we have annoyed anybody.


I don't.

If it's annoying you and you want to talk about something else, have at it, we should be talking more about kink around here anyways. It's not like this thread was any good to start (just like most of them that got started in the last few months/weeks aren't).

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 9:06:35 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

yeah no, any other submissive/slave I know needs their Dominant to actually boss them around on at least a certain level in order for them to obey. You're not like that. Your husband can just sit back, relax, and gets his every wish and whim fulfilled before he even has to think about wanting something enough to get to the point of giving you a command. That is real service.

Yeah I can relate, that's a lot of how things work around here (though nowhere near flawlessly), but I know my Fellas and what they like, so I just get it for them. The reason I don't consider it being submissive is because that's the way things worked in my vanilla relationships, and some of it was because that's how I wanted it. But, looking at it that way, maybe I was being submissive all along, maybe I served through my vanilla relationships as well. Maybe I am more of submissive than I ever realized, just one that doesn't need a lot of direction. A natural hands-off sub.

Hmmmmm, much to mull over.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 9:10:17 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

Pain is not my thing i am not a maso, i guess that is why i am not with a sadist.
I can't get past the pain part to get to the pleasure part cause Master does not like to hurt me. I do have to admit i like "funishment" spankings.
I guess the only thng Master does that hurts is he likes to squeeze and bite my nipples. I mean after a while they get a little sore and it hurts more than usual.

Matt's littleone


Have you tried sensation play? It sounds like it really should be something you like.

Basically imagine being blindfolded (and laying on a bed or something) perhaps tied down too, but that's not really needed and having him apply a whole bunch of different things to your skin at different places in order to get reactions. Fur gloves, cold metal chain, candle wax, tracing your skin with a feather, ice cubes, the point of a dull knife making circles around your nipples, the feel of his hand intermittent on and off, a rubber 'sticky' ball being rolled over your skin, basically anything that can cause any kind of sensation in your skin at all, especially if it contrasts with other sensations (hard vs soft, cold vs hot) or if it's in any way strange, or unusual.

It makes for some very amazing, very sensual scenes, that heighten the sensation of your skin and touch so much, that if he fucks you afterwards (without taking the blindfold off first) you end up feeling like you're on another planet.



< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 11/15/2016 9:13:21 PM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: pain - 11/15/2016 9:10:54 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

We should be talking more about kink around here anyways. It's not like this thread was any good to start (just like most of them that got started in the last few months/weeks aren't).

I can't argue with that. And I am finding the discussion fascinating, and really eye opening and thought provoking.

And also really helpful as well.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: pain Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.066