Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: pain


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: pain Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: pain - 11/17/2016 11:14:40 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

I take pain better when I'm drunk. But that's frowned at round bdsm parts.

I don't. Being drunk dulls the pain and clouds the mind, which is the exact effect I do not want. I like drunk sex, it gets so uninhibited and dirty, but if we're doing pain or degradation stuff I want to be stone cold sober to experience every sensation and emotion clearly and fully. To do otherwise would just be cheating myself out of the experience I want.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: pain - 11/17/2016 9:27:20 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

I take pain better when I'm drunk. But that's frowned at round bdsm parts.

I don't. Being drunk dulls the pain and clouds the mind, which is the exact effect I do not want. I like drunk sex, it gets so uninhibited and dirty, but if we're doing pain or degradation stuff I want to be stone cold sober to experience every sensation and emotion clearly and fully. To do otherwise would just be cheating myself out of the experience I want.


Hence why you're a maso and I'm decidedly not.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: pain - 11/17/2016 9:28:48 PM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

I take pain better when I'm drunk. But that's frowned at round bdsm parts.


I frown on it when done in public, because it's a liability for the club and the other people there. Or when it's done with people you don't know sufficiently well to trust them with respecting your consent even if unable to give/revoke it in the moment (cause you passed out or whatever).

Other than that I'm all pro drug use during play. I had a super long post about playing while using -legally acquired- psychedelics in the recent thread asking question about play on LSD, that sadly got pulled because the OP made mention of illegally acquired drugs.


I definitely follow club rules. I won't drink before going and there is no alcohol allowed there either.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 8:37:58 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
Very true. :)

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 8:49:40 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

I take pain better when I'm drunk. But that's frowned at round bdsm parts.

I don't. Being drunk dulls the pain and clouds the mind, which is the exact effect I do not want. I like drunk sex, it gets so uninhibited and dirty, but if we're doing pain or degradation stuff I want to be stone cold sober to experience every sensation and emotion clearly and fully. To do otherwise would just be cheating myself out of the experience I want.


See I don't like alcohol during play because it fucks with my ability to process the pain. I probably couldn't take as much if I was drunk than when I'm sober, because I'd panic sooner (and as soon as I start panicking my ability to process through my pain goes out the window and it ends up being this self-enforcing loop where they can keep me panicking for as long as they want with very little effort because I can't catch my breath enough to calm myself back down).

So I probably shouldn't say I don't think alcohol and play would mix very well for me too loudly around some of the guys I play with, because they're always looking for tricks to fuck with and disrupt my ability to process pain.



< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 11/18/2016 8:50:55 AM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 9:10:34 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
I don't think I'd like playing with those guys, though the fantasy of doing so is waaaaaaaay hot. Maybe when I have a little more experience and insight into how I process pain I would.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 10:32:41 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I don't think I'd like playing with those guys, though the fantasy of doing so is waaaaaaaay hot. Maybe when I have a little more experience and insight into how I process pain I would.


Fuck I don't even know if *I* like playing with those guys anymore!
Especially not when they end up talking to each other afterwards...

A while back my favorite rope Top did a suspension scene with me where he put me in a rope chest harness deliberately tied in such a way so that I couldn't take anything more than extremely short and shallow breaths (think breath restriction the way a corset does but way more severe). He then did a hip rope harness that was only load bearing on 1 single rope... which was placed exactly on my clit.
When he suspended me off of it, I ended up with about 2/3 of my body-weight (~100 lbs) directly on my clit... while I could... not... breath...
Of course I really could breath... I just couldn't take any deep breaths. But the restriction was enough to set off a panic attack that I couldn't recover from, which finally caused me to safeword*... which is like the first time in over 8 years that I've tapped out of a scene on purpose for anything other than a medical issue.

The thing is, he'd done that same clit suspension with me before, and I managed to get through it then. The only thing different this time was that I felt like I couldn't breath, which I was of course stupid enough to mention to him afterwards...

So two weekends ago I had a knife play/pressure point scene with another Top I play with, and the first thing he did was wrap my entire head in plastic wrap, leaving me only my nose to breath through... I managed to get through that one fine, but after the scene we're talking and I comment that that was the first time he attempted some sort of hood on me (I LOVE hoods and have asked to use them before, but he's refused cause he likes to look into my eyes instead) and he casually says: "yeah rope Top guy recommended it as a way to get your to break down faster".

Arggggggg...

I'm going to have to institute a hard limit on any of my play partners talking to each other!


*Which is exactly why I play without safewords in private: once I panic I'll say anything to get whatever's happening to stop. Including safewords. Hell I'd swear to sell you my first born if that's what it took, and would sign a contract to that effect. Which is exactly why I have a subset of people with whom I've got agreements to ignore safewords in private... unfortunately, this happened in a public club so he had no choice but to oblige by it (and promptly did, to my great disappointment approximately 10 seconds after the ropes were lose enough so that I could breath again).




< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 11/18/2016 10:43:56 AM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 1:47:08 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

as a way to get your to break down faster

See there's a big difference, I have never played with anybody whose goal was to make me break down. I'm not sure I even like that idea. That to me seems to much like some sort of competition, and I generally don't like competitions.

I can understand the motivation to a degree, I mean I often wish my Fellas cared about me little less, cut loose a little more, but in the end, the fact that I know they do care and do hold back and go slow trying to make sure things don't get too intense for me to deal with is a big part of what allows me to indulge my masochism to the extent that I have.
It's like I want to have a responsible adult around, because given some of the fantasies I have, I sure as fuck cannot be trusted in that regard. :)

That's also one reason I like that the Fella is not as sadistic as the Other Fella, he acts as a brake in a way, but also having the Other Fella more sadistic also sort of acts as an accelerator on the Fella. They like compliment each other that way.

< Message edited by ThatDizzyChick -- 11/18/2016 1:49:08 PM >


_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 3:15:43 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

as a way to get your to break down faster

See there's a big difference, I have never played with anybody whose goal was to make me break down. I'm not sure I even like that idea. That to me seems to much like some sort of competition, and I generally don't like competitions.



There is no competition if they do it right.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 3:19:44 PM   
kiwisub22


Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
Status: offline
Once I'm to the panic point, we had better stop because I'm not enjoying, liking it or even tolerating it. It has become hell, and I will hold it against you. And not in a good way.

I've only been that way once - I was hog tied, and felt as if I couldn't breath and had some sort of flash back thing - and I still don't like being restrained to where I can't get loose. Didn't bother me before that scene. - and my Sir let me loose as soon as he realized I was in distress, but there are still some issues there with being restrained.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 4:46:56 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

as a way to get your to break down faster

See there's a big difference, I have never played with anybody whose goal was to make me break down. I'm not sure I even like that idea. That to me seems to much like some sort of competition, and I generally don't like competitions.


Maybe it was a poorly chosen term, but I'm struggling for words on how else to describe it. And I certainly didn't mean 'break me down' in the sense of 'getting me to tap out'. It ended up happening that way in that specific scene, but that's never the goal. The goal is to get me out of my own head and into the moment.

As such it's not a competition as in 'him against me' for sure, though perhaps it could count as a competition where it's 'him and me against my own head'.
I'm a person who's very much always in control of things, I have a really hard time letting go and just 'being'. I control everything, all the time, and I'm always thinking several steps ahead.
I'm also always considering the potential outcomes and consequences of several possible choices/options/things that might happen in the moment versus what could have happened instead.

When I scene that results in me basically constantly considering all the things he could have done instead of the thing he's currently doing, and all the things he might do next, and it's consequences to me. I'm very much in my head all the time.
Which is why I like to deliberately go to the point of panic. It's very much impossible for me to panic and still be in my own head at the same time. Panic is very much an 'in the moment' kinda emotion.
But it's not the only way to get me there.

I don't know... I feel like I'm not making any sense again... but I don't know how else to describe it.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I often wish my Fellas cared about me little less, cut loose a little more, but in the end, the fact that I know they do care and do hold back and go slow trying to make sure things don't get too intense for me to deal with is a big part of what allows me to indulge my masochism to the extent that I have.


Yeah I've got that same problem with my husband. He holds back a lot too (and he wishes himself he could overcome it more) because of constantly looking out for my well being (where I'm just a 'dive of the cliff and figure out if the water is actually deep enough once I hit the bottom' kinda person).
It why he's in charge of negotiation for me with third parties. When one of my casual playpartners comes up with some kinda fucked up idea and I'm immediately going 'yeah awesome lets do that' my husband is the one who decides whether or not we actually can.
It's gotten to the point that they don't really bother checking with me beforehand anymore, and just ask him straight away instead.

Which is kinda cool. In that same plastic-wrap-hood scene I talked about in my previous post the Top choked me to unconsciousness for the first time in my life, I had no idea it was coming, it wasn't negotiated for -with me- at all, we had never even discussed any breath play whatsoever really. But he asked my husband, and my husband gave the green light, so it ended up being an awesome surprise!

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 4:49:43 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

I've only been that way once - I was hog tied, and felt as if I couldn't breath and had some sort of flash back thing - and I still don't like being restrained to where I can't get loose. Didn't bother me before that scene. - and my Sir let me loose as soon as he realized I was in distress, but there are still some issues there with being restrained.


That's exactly why I love restraints (and hoods) so much: much easier to get me to panic when I can't see, talk, hear, or move.
Almost nobody I play with likes the kind of sensory deprivation hoods I love though. They all want to be able to see my face/eyes.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to kiwisub22)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 5:27:33 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

I don't know... I feel like I'm not making any sense again... but I don't know how else to describe it.

No, that makes it much clearer. I am not the same way, I have very little trouble being in the moment, especially when the sexing/hurting begins, the world just falls away then.

quote:

the Top choked me to unconsciousness

What was that like? The idea intrigues me.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 5:30:19 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

Almost nobody I play with likes the kind of sensory deprivation hoods I love though. They all want to be able to see my face/eyes.

Typical selfish men!

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 5:49:04 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

the Top choked me to unconsciousness

What was that like? The idea intrigues me.


It only happened twice, and both times were very brief. He basically got me to the point of my muscles giving out and starting to relax, and he'd let go, so then the blood would instantly rush back and I'd be back again.

Well to start I have a lot of experience with breathplay (of all types, including stuff like waterboarding). I don't know if you've done choke play before, but the shortness of oxygen you get in the brain when you choke somebody is very different from the sensation you get when you block their ability to breath. Breath control play makes you feel the same you feel as when you hold your breath yourself for a long time. It makes you feel panic-y, and stuggle desperately to try to breath. Your longs will start 'pumping' on their own, and your adrenaline will start you feeling scared.
Choke play doesn't do that at all. It doesn't trigger the feeling of "I need to breath now!" it just makes you feel warm and fuzzy and relaxed and lightheaded (or at least it does with me). Doing it for a long time is very much the same sensation as when you've got low blood pressure and stand up too quickly (which is basically caused by the same thing as what choke play does: a sudden lack of oxygen in the brain).

The first time was in the beginning of our scene, and I was still very much in my head. I was thinking the whole time he was choking me "man he's going for a long time!". Apparently I'm rather hard to choke out too, because I instantly (automatically) adjusted my heart rate to slow down, and managed to get just barely enough blood through so I could stay conscious (not that I was trying to fight him or anything... it was just me again automatically 'managing' what was happening... at that point the thought that he was trying to choke me out didn't even occur to me yet). After about 10 minutes he finally adjusted his grip a little and suddenly I felt all my muscles go limp... and I remember thinking "what the hell?!?" and about a second later finding myself laying on the table while not remember how I went from sitting to laying down, feeling kinda bewildered and in awe.

The second time was later in our scene, and he'd been fucking with my head for about 2 hours then. His grip was better from the first (apparently he figured out that you need to get me super high on the neck to block all 4 arteries effectively), so it went rather fast that time, and it was super awesome.

So sensation wise it really doesn't end up being all that different from choke play itself. It's that same fussy/dizzy sensation you get as when you're lightheaded, only at the end instead of 'ending being lightheaded' you feel all your muscles suddenly going limp, and then your consciousness zaps out, and a few seconds later zaps back in in much the same manner as when you wake up from going to sleep.
The psychological mindfuck of "holy fuck I was just unconscious" was really more impressive than the actually being unconscious itself.

He's a super experienced breathplayer, and he sometimes chokes his wife out long enough so that she ends up waking up to him fucking her, while he still had his pants on while choking her out. I'd like to try that too... seems rather interesting (and she says it's awesome), though he obviously wasn't going to do it that long for a first time... and I'm not quite sure I really want to go that long. After all, any time you deprive the brain of oxygen you're killing of some (minuscule) amount of brain cells permanently... and I happen to be rather partial to my brain...

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 6:22:55 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

Almost nobody I play with likes the kind of sensory deprivation hoods I love though. They all want to be able to see my face/eyes.

Typical selfish men!



I know! Such assholes! Wanting to look me in the eye while they're fucking me... how inappropriately rude!
*wanders off muttering and grumbling*


< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 11/18/2016 6:23:26 PM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 6:26:49 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
Thanks for the explanation. i will have to think about that one a little before I mention it as a possibility. I don't think I'd much like the breath play thing, but the choking does sound fun. I mean they have choked me for very brief periods of time, but not anywhere near to blacking out, and I enjoyed that, but mostly for the being totally controlled aspect of it.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 6:44:23 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Thanks for the explanation. i will have to think about that one a little before I mention it as a possibility. I don't think I'd much like the breath play thing, but the choking does sound fun. I mean they have choked me for very brief periods of time, but not anywhere near to blacking out, and I enjoyed that, but mostly for the being totally controlled aspect of it.


By the way, I forgot to mention this earlier when choking came up (I usually mention it whenever choke play is mentioned), but -assuming you're informed of all the other risks/dangers involving choke play, and you know all about how little pressure it takes to crush your windpipe blah blah blah- I ended up discovering a new injury that's possible from choke play almost nobody has ever heard off:

3 years ago, I ended up with a bad persistent cough that wouldn't go away for months. It felt like I had ants crawling through my throat all the time. My doc first thought allergies, but all the test were negative, so they scoped my throat looking for cancer (several times), I ended up having a ph meter installed via a tube down my nose into my throat for a week, and well... long story short... 6 months later I was still coughing and nobody could figure out why.
So I finally end up at a specialist going over my case, and he's baffled, and starts thinking out loud: well the last thing I can think of is a martial arts injury, but we went over your sports history and... so I interrupted him with "uhm, actually I took a self-defense class and...".

Turns out I've got nerve damage in the nerve on the right side of my neck from choking too hard/long in the wrong spot. And nerve damage is slow as hell to heal. It's been 3 years, and while it's a lot better than it was, it still bothers me sometimes.

So anyways... be careful, etc, etc, etc...

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: pain - 11/18/2016 6:49:58 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
Oooooo, thank you for that bit of info.
Both my fellas have EMT training (firemen) so I am not worried about the immediate risks (resuscitation and that sort of thing), but the nerve damage thing is a little scary.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: pain - 11/20/2016 8:09:32 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Women tend to be dropping kids off to school, picking them up from school and running to the grocery store. They don't drive in the dark, in heavy rain or snow or during peak hour anywhere near as often as men do.

In my country, you can be sure dropping off kids and picking up kids are RIGHT in the middle of the craziest peak hour for traffic and be prepared to be stuck in jams for ages and maneuver through chaotic traffic. I don't know how is school possible off peak hours, as people drop kids on the way to work, and then pick up kids when they are coming home from work. That's literally peak hours.

I don't know. You know. My mom does sales, so her job involves driving around to see clients all over Singapore and Malaysia all day, and yes she is also responsible for picking up and dropping off kids, and groceries, she definitely drives way more. My dad's job is just to drive to work, sit in an office and then drive home. Or else, he is always traveling overseas for work.

My mom has gotten into zero accidents. My dad probably more than 20 accidents in his life time. One of it was crashing into a tree and I don't know how that happens!


You really want me to comment on Asian drivers male or female???

So we went to Boston recently. It was a fun trip, we hit the Fine Arts Museum and were heading outward. There was a car in the opposite lane going the other way.

Wouldn't be all that problematic, except we were on a one way street.

As the car passed, I checked the driver.

It was an Asian woman.

I turned to Kalliko and said "Stereotypes exist because they're FUCKING true."

She was laughing too hard to respond.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: pain Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.352