RE: Is it confidence vs submission?

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RE: Is it confidence vs submission? - 1/20/2017 7:18:00 AM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline

...like the rock he crawled out from under clutching that soft deerskin or tiny little rubber strand flogger he waved at you with such authority.

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Post #: 21

RE: Is it confidence vs submission? - 3/12/2017 11:29:55 AM

AdamSilentMentor

Posts: 62
Joined: 3/11/2017
From: Denmark
Status: offline

I wished to give you my opinion on your topic, but seems it will only be a sum of some of the best ideas already written by others. So I would only like to ask you if you have found your balance, Redbttmgrrl. I hope you did.

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You can't? I will help you.
You won't? I will force you.

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RE: Is it confidence vs submission? - 3/13/2017 3:48:29 PM

kiwisub22

Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
Status: offline

My dominant and I met for a "meet and greet" at Barnes and Noble. We did talk about BDSM, but we also talked about books, education, philosophy, music, travel, pets - basically, if either of us were interested in a topic , it came up. We probably talked for about two hours, which gave me a really good idea if I could not only submit to him, but enjoy being around him.

He told me his expectations for his submissive - not as in -this is what you WILL do, but this is what you would be expected to do, if we decide this is what we want.

He did let me know what he would want for our first meet, in a D/s context, and left it to me to process. He didn't insist on a decision right that moment.

Basically, he acted like a gentleman.

Anyone who insists on a submissive making a decision on anything right away is more of a dick than a dominant.

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Post #: 23

RE: Is it confidence vs submission? - 3/14/2017 1:50:22 PM

WeeOne1960

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/12/2010
From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Status: offline

I may not have much experience, but if a totally unknown Dom or Domme ORDERED me to do something, I would hope my respectful response would be, No Sir/Ma'am, I do not belong to you and therefore cannot obey your command. My apologies. Please speak with.....whoever I am with. Is this acceptable behaviour?

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Be kind to one another. :)

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RE: Is it confidence vs submission? - 3/14/2017 3:13:05 PM

kiwisub22

Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
Status: offline

Well... yes, if you are with someone. But, if you are not in a relationship, you can respectfully or not , tell someone who orders you around to go pee up a pole. Just because you identify as a submissive doesn't automatically mean you HAVE to obey Joe or Jane Blow.

In fact, I would rather say that a prospective dominant who had an ounce of sense wouldn't want a sub who obeys anyone who opens their mouth. An element of common sense comes into what we do.

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Post #: 25