UllrsIshtar
Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MLordEd Being a submissive means that you've discovered that it makes you happy when you please your man. Euhm, no... being submissive means you confirm with, or obey, the will and authority of another. It doesn't mean that doing so will necessarily make you happy, or that you have any desire to please your man (Top) whatsoever. I know various slaves and submissives who have zero desire to please, but who have strong desires to obey. Besides that, it's perfectly possible for a Top to find happiness in pleasing their bottom. In fact, finding happiness in pleasing your partner [and making them happy] is pretty much THE definition of what it means to be in love with somebody, be it in a kink relationship or a vanilla one. quote:
ORIGINAL: MLordEd Giving your self to someone who accepts and cherishes that gift is the real core of a BDSM pair, and because that can be so much deeper than vanilla, it's that much more attractive Kink relationships are not inherently deeper than vanilla relationships. Especially no if you consider the 'Velcro collar' phenomenon (a tendency for a disproportionately large kink relationship to be much much much shorter than average vanilla relationships). If you're claiming that kink relationships have the inherent capacity to somehow be deeper, or more meaningful than a vanilla relationship with a couple still happily married after 30, 40, or 50 years, you're selling yourself some deep bullshit. Go to an old folk home and find a couple still madly in love with each other after marrying at 18, and then come back and tell me what they have is somehow less meaningful because he doesn't spank her in bed. quote:
ORIGINAL: MLordEd You must first identify what you want and need and then communicate it to your prospective partner, and vice (pun intended) versa. Again, are you saying that in a vanilla relationship you shouldn't communicate your wants and needs to your prospective partner? Kink doesn't magically make a relationship something other than a relationship, and good relationship practices for kink relationships aren't any different from those of vanilla relationships. quote:
ORIGINAL: MLordEd I know there are some men who look only for 'floormat' type women, but I always thought that was a sign of them lacking self-confidence and need to build themselves up by trodding on their sub. I look for doormat qualities in a slave, because I find that they make for pleasing slaves (to my personal taste). And I'm one of the most confident people I know. In fact, I've been accused of being so confident that it's a shock to people who know me to see me upset, or distressed, over something. Me liking doormat slaves has got nothing to do with putting them down, in fact, building them up is one of my most fun projects. Seeing the change in my slave girl's body language as her confidence continues to rise is one of the pleasures I take in her, but on the other hand, the fact that she's a doormat is very much what attracted me to her.
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I can be your whore I am the dirt you created I am your sinner And your whore But let me tell you something baby You love me for everything you hate me for
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