herblondy
Posts: 13
Joined: 12/27/2016 Status: offline
|
"Ah yes, I know that little problem well. And for me, what I need to get through that, is the love and acceptance, and yes admiration and gratitude, of my partners. And for that, you need to talk to them. Both about your apprehension before the fact, and your remorse (if any) after the fact. Also keep in mind that you may not be the only one with that problem, either of them may feel that way as well, which is why it is important to discuss the way the things you do affect your head, not just your body. This is especially so when dealing with things like humiliation which are entirely mental/emotional. You are by definition messing around in each other's heads, so you need to talk about how you feel about it. " So I am not alone then in having regretful feelings? That helps a lot knowing others feel the same sometimes. I struggled a lot with my new found bisexuality. i just did not want to admit to myself that I was being turned on by a woman. Before we actually ever had sex, she would tease and fondle me so much that I would get super wet. All the while I was begging her to stop. Then when I started wanting her to continue, she would stop and just leave me there slumped on the floor or bed and quivering for release. I would go into the bedroom and masturbate to a huge orgasm then cry myself to sleep. Not for what she had done to me but for what I had done to myself. I swore I would never let her do that to me again. Then the next night I would find myself pinned under her again and repeating it all over. And it was totally avoidable. I was always putting myself in harms way by saying or doing something that I knew would provoke her. I tried to convince myself that I didn't want it but my behavior suggested otherwise. You see, i had convinced myself that as long as I didn't like it,I was straight. But the things i was doing to myself and her made it harder and harder for me to keep the charade up. Thats why I think I felt guilty and bad. Then to amplify things, it was clear I was becoming more and more subservient to her. Something I never was before with any lover. it was like I had no control what so ever over what was happening to me inside my body and out. We often did talk about it but not until after we started having sex. And it did help a lot as you said. Oh the rape fantasy thing I have come to terms with. We "play" at that all the time and we both enjoy it. I have become quit the little actress when it comes to resisting. :) It's the idea of me liking that my bf is uncomfortable with the idea and me liking that is something I need to think about more and talk with him about.
|