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How many here are really fakes - 2/13/2017 12:37:16 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/3/2017
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I have been lurking the main site for a couple months now, as my profile states at this time i am not seeking (or rather am not ready to take in) a sub, however i would like to have a TPE type relationship when i feel i am ready to take such responsibility, but lately all i am seeing are people requesting no mercy assholes, i would like to believe those are fakes but many seem genuine, and while many things they request are turning me on i do am not sure i could live up to that kind of standard, i can be an asshole from time to time (if we are agreed upon it is just a game we play) but i cant sustain that frame of mind for very long, the only other type of people i see are those who begin their profile by telling me what kind of dominant i should be, and i am like, i may fit excellently into what you imagine but when you start teaching me how to do my job before we even met i get the feeling you will constantly scrutinize all i do and that is a big turnoff. So i m worried i seem unable to find many profiles that are just like, here are my fetishes, message me and lets see if we click, and i m especially worried that i will one day find a sub and she will want me to became true monster and never dislay any affection towards her ever.

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/13/2017 12:51:34 PM

JVoV

Posts: 3226
Joined: 3/9/2015
Status: offline

Many submissives can be much more demanding than a lot of dominants. They expect you to be their fetish delivery service all the time, or when they feel like it at least. Sanity or reality seem to mean nothing to them, much less the needs of their dominant.

And it seems like the more extreme their kinks, the more intense their needs are.

Of course not all of these are real, but a solid portion of them are, or at least think they are.

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/13/2017 1:19:24 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ffffff333
but lately all i am seeing are people requesting no mercy assholes, i would like to believe those are fakes but many seem genuine

Just because someone is unrealistic, doesn't mean they're fake. It most likely means that they have little to no experience and don't understand that just because they fantasize about something doesn't mean it's realistic in a relationship.

quote:

the only other type of people i see are those who begin their profile by telling me what kind of dominant i should be, and i am like, i may fit excellently into what you imagine but when you start teaching me how to do my job before we even met i get the feeling you will constantly scrutinize all i do and that is a big turnoff.

I guess it depends on how it's worded. Everyone is entitled to state what they want and describe their ideal. It really comes down to whether they believe it as a blanket statement or it's just what they are looking for in their partner.

quote:

So i m worried i seem unable to find many profiles that are just like, here are my fetishes, message me and lets see if we click

When I was single, I never discussed my sex life or fetishes until I had gotten to know that person and decided whether or not I even liked that person. I find that tingly genitals tend to confuse the facts and quite frankly, if I don't like you as a person, there's no way I'm going to be attracted to you or trust you enough to get into the kinky sex part.

quote:

and i m especially worried that i will one day find a sub and she will want me to became true monster and never dislay any affection towards her ever.

Do you think she's going to hold a gun to your head and make you stay? If a relationship doesn't work for you, don't do the relationship. It really is that simple.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 6:53:09 AM

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
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I have run the maths on many occasions and it take me too much time to do so for so few view readers.

fake is a very broad word

Do you mean those with:
1. Stolen pictures
2. those lying about anything else like partners, experiences

Anyone who knows me tends to know I lump 1 and 2 together and time after time I have gotten into trouble for doing so - for reasons that escape me....to me they all merge into a super blur.

Oh OG fantasists! I would need to think that one through - how do they differ from bad stereotypes?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 8:11:07 AM

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/3/2017
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

I have run the maths on many occasions and it take me too much time to do so for so few view readers.

fake is a very broad word

Do you mean those with:
1. Stolen pictures
2. those lying about anything else like partners, experiences

Anyone who knows me tends to know I lump 1 and 2 together and time after time I have gotten into trouble for doing so - for reasons that escape me....to me they all merge into a super blur.

Oh OG fantasists! I would need to think that one through - how do they differ from bad stereotypes?

When i say fake i mean those who make false profiles in order to lure naive people in for some nefarious purpose, like blackmail or identity theft, and they may be making the profiles they think dominant people want to see.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 8:30:44 AM

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/3/2017
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Just because someone is unrealistic, doesn't mean they're fake. It most likely means that they have little to no experience and don't understand that just because they fantasize about something doesn't mean it's realistic in a relationship.

Dont this people have any common sense? A lot of what they are asking is irreversible, if they actually found the person they want there would be no turning back.

quote:

I guess it depends on how it's worded. Everyone is entitled to state what they want and describe their ideal. It really comes down to whether they believe it as a blanket statement or it's just what they are looking for in their partner.

When all they put in their profile is how a real dominant should behave, and thats it then it sounds like lecturing, i dont mind people listing their preferences, but who are they to decide what real dominant should be like.

quote:

When I was single, I never discussed my sex life or fetishes until I had gotten to know that person and decided whether or not I even liked that person. I find that tingly genitals tend to confuse the facts and quite frankly, if I don't like you as a person, there's no way I'm going to be attracted to you or trust you enough to get into the kinky sex part.

Yeah but on the other hand, considering how much variation there is in the world of kink, i would say that it is important to determine if your ideas about kink align well with those of the potential partner, it is a bit more complicated then in vanilla world just because there is so much variation, so bringing up sex life and fetishes a bit early is ok in my book. That doees not mean you have to jump into bed the first chance you get but still...

quote:

Do you think she's going to hold a gun to your head and make you stay? If a relationship doesn't work for you, don't do the relationship. It really is that simple.

It is a little more complicated then that, sometimes you like the person and you make concessions to make it work, i am genuinely worried that my gentler side can be off putting to a lot of subs, i can be really cruel for the time if the right triggers are activated (so i am not worried that i wont be able to live up to the subs expectation of sadism) but the moment i ejaculate i turn into a big softie (no pun intended) and i just want to kiss and cuddle, i am worried that this phase will in essence show the sub whats behind the curtain and she will loose any respect for me as a dominant.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 10:06:46 AM

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ffffff333
It is a little more complicated then that, sometimes you like the person and you make concessions to make it work, i am genuinely worried that my gentler side can be off putting to a lot of subs, i can be really cruel for the time if the right triggers are activated (so i am not worried that i wont be able to live up to the subs expectation of sadism) but the moment i ejaculate i turn into a big softie (no pun intended) and i just want to kiss and cuddle, i am worried that this phase will in essence show the sub whats behind the curtain and she will loose any respect for me as a dominant.

You just need to find someone who is compatible with you.

It's not necessarily easy, but it really is that simple.

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 10:36:26 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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I know for a fact that there are at least 20 female slave profiles on this site that are not fake, and I know, because I made them all.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to littleladybug)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 11:27:31 AM

Posts: 5158
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ffffff333
So i m worried i seem unable to find many profiles that are just like, here are my fetishes, message me and lets see if we click,

Well, when I was looking my profile wouldn't have been what you want. I have no fetishes. If I did they would not be aired for any stranger to read on the internet. They would be considered personal and private.

The first Dom I met from here didn't start out asking about fetishes. He noticed in my profile that I enjoyed gardening. He also kept a large garden. We did a lot of chatting about gardening. I enjoyed weeding in his garden on a sunny day. Later, once we were friends, he introduced me to floggers, clamps, whips, canes, etc. He and I remained friends for 11 years and kept in touch almost daily.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 11:47:54 AM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ffffff333

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Just because someone is unrealistic, doesn't mean they're fake. It most likely means that they have little to no experience and don't understand that just because they fantasize about something doesn't mean it's realistic in a relationship.

Dont this people have any common sense? A lot of what they are asking is irreversible, if they actually found the person they want there would be no turning back.

As I said, tingly genitals tend to confuse the issues. And no....many, many people lack common sense.

quote:

When all they put in their profile is how a real dominant should behave, and thats it then it sounds like lecturing, i dont mind people listing their preferences, but who are they to decide what real dominant should be like.

Do you realize how many "Dominants" people tell submissives how to behave if they're really submissive? Usually followed by some demand involving sex, nudity. In fact, I'd say that it's more often employed by people claiming to be D types than S types.

quote:

When I was single, I never discussed my sex life or fetishes until I had gotten to know that person and decided whether or not I even liked that person. I find that tingly genitals tend to confuse the facts and quite frankly, if I don't like you as a person, there's no way I'm going to be attracted to you or trust you enough to get into the kinky sex part.

Yeah but on the other hand, considering how much variation there is in the world of kink, i would say that it is important to determine if your ideas about kink align well with those of the potential partner, it is a bit more complicated then in vanilla world just because there is so much variation, so bringing up sex life and fetishes a bit early is ok in my book. That doees not mean you have to jump into bed the first chance you get but still...

I disagree. In my experience discussing sex, kink and details of a power dynamic led to expectations. Then when I decided that I didn't like that person, they were confused - after all I shared intimate details and then walked away. It led to them being frustrated and me being pressured. (ranting phone calls, one guy who grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go - thankfully someone else made him let go, etc)

quote:

Do you think she's going to hold a gun to your head and make you stay? If a relationship doesn't work for you, don't do the relationship. It really is that simple.

It is a little more complicated then that, sometimes you like the person and you make concessions to make it work, i am genuinely worried that my gentler side can be off putting to a lot of subs, i can be really cruel for the time if the right triggers are activated (so i am not worried that i wont be able to live up to the subs expectation of sadism) but the moment i ejaculate i turn into a big softie (no pun intended) and i just want to kiss and cuddle, i am worried that this phase will in essence show the sub whats behind the curtain and she will loose any respect for me as a dominant.

First - No, it really is that simple.

Second - You shouldn't be in a power dynamic with someone when you haven't discussed their concept of a power dynamic.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 2/14/2017 12:00:54 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 12:00:40 PM

Posts: 5158
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Oh yes, forgot to answer your original question as to how many are fake around here. I'll have to put myself in the fake column. Took that BDSM test that so many think is so good they post their results in their profiles. It says I'm not even a tiny bit submissive. Went back and retook the test. Figured out that since he doesn't tie me up for sex then we aren't in a Dom/submissive relationship, at least according to the test. No fetishes and don't use rope for sex. We MUST be fake.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 12:03:36 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Oh yes, forgot to answer your original question as to how many are fake around here. I'll have to put myself in the fake column. Took that BDSM test that so many think is so good they post their results in their profiles. It says I'm not even a tiny bit submissive. Went back and retook the test. Figured out that since he doesn't tie me up for sex then we aren't in a Dom/submissive relationship, at least according to the test. No fetishes and don't use rope for sex. We MUST be fake.

Yeah, a lot of people confuse BDSM with D/s when they're not the same thing.

I'm with you, my submission isn't about what we do in bedroom, it's about our dynamic and how we live our lives. If his dick fell off tomorrow, we'd still be in a D/s relationship.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 2/14/2017 12:06:32 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to peppermint)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 12:29:57 PM

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline

I'm a fake, obviously: I can't sit on leatherette chair while I'm typing because the static charge my plastic arse fidgetting generates while I'm online crashes the computer.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 12:39:34 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/3/2017
Status: offline

quote:

Do you realize how many "Dominants" people tell submissives how to behave if they're really submissive? Usually followed by some demand involving sex, nudity. In fact, I'd say that it's more often employed by people claiming to be D types than S types.

Well being bossy is kind of in the job description of dominants, but i hear ya, i try not to judge but i find such behavior really pathetic.

quote:

I disagree. In my experience discussing sex, kink and details of a power dynamic led to expectations. Then when I decided that I didn't like that person, they were confused - after all I shared intimate details and then walked away. It led to them being frustrated and me being pressured. (ranting phone calls, one guy who grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go - thankfully someone else made him let go, etc)

I do not consider this a proper display of domly behavior, that said for me personally discussing kink (which may or may not be linked directly to sex) would actually put pressure off, the reason i never really found myself in vanilla relationships is that there is all this drama, both sides playing a game of hide and seek with their emotions, in fact before i decided to accept myself for what i am i was wholly ready to give up on the whole thing entirely, it was my hope that in a Ds relationship i can find a partner more willing to discuss things openly without playing mind games, since everyone puts so much emphasis on communication, i would definitely not freak out if someone decided we were not compatible, i would wish them all the best and keep looking.

quote:

Second - You shouldn't be in a power dynamic with someone when you haven't discussed their concept of a power dynamic.

This seems kinda redundant, isn't it what it is all about in Ds relationships, she tells me her idea of power dynamic and if i like it i make it happen, i am rather flexible myself, can take various forms (and it isn't pretending either, i realized long ao that human mind is very malleable within certain parameters, so i can use this to reshape myself to extent, the real question is is this persons idea of power dynamic within those parameters) but once again,i worry i will not be able to live up to what the majority see as dominant, just because i love to show kindness and compassion every once in awhile, i am actually rather contradictory person, by trade i am vet technician and have great skill with animals, i have a lot of patience and had even had occasions where i was able to tame cats and dogs everyone considered untamable, on the other hand i am a raging sadist with a mean streak, struggle between this two sides of me has caused me some grief in the past.

< Message edited by ffffff333 -- 2/14/2017 12:44:55 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 12:43:02 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/3/2017
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Oh yes, forgot to answer your original question as to how many are fake around here. I'll have to put myself in the fake column. Took that BDSM test that so many think is so good they post their results in their profiles. It says I'm not even a tiny bit submissive. Went back and retook the test. Figured out that since he doesn't tie me up for sex then we aren't in a Dom/submissive relationship, at least according to the test. No fetishes and don't use rope for sex. We MUST be fake.

I found that test really dumb, not sure why so many people swear by it, i thought it is going to ask some deep psychological questions and generate my profile based on that, instead it just basically asked me what i am into and printed out the results, i dont need some stupid test to tell me what turns me on.

(in reply to peppermint)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 1:07:42 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ffffff333

Well being bossy is kind of in the job description of dominants.

No, it's not. That's the difference between being domineering and being dominant. Beyond, that, you don't get to be bossy with someone that has agreed to your bossiness.

it was my hope that in a Ds relationship i can find a partner more willing to discuss things openly without playing mind games It's not a mind game to not discuss intimate details, if you're not ready to discuss them.

quote:

i worry i will not be able to live up to what the majority see as dominant, just because i love to show kindness and compassion every once in awhile

That's pretty funny because we'd be having a serious discussion about our relationship if he didn't show me kindness and compassion on regular basis.

Again - D/s isn't about BDSM. It's a relationship. Period.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ffffff333)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 1:55:53 PM

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Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

To the OP

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ffffff333

Well being bossy is kind of in the job description of dominants.
No, it's not. That's the difference between being domineering and being dominant. Beyond, that, you don't get to be bossy with someone that has agreed to your bossiness.

it was my hope that in a Ds relationship i can find a partner more willing to discuss things openly without playing mind games

It's not a mind game to not discuss intimate details, if you're not ready to discuss them.

quote:

i worry i will not be able to live up to what the majority see as dominant, just because i love to show kindness and compassion every once in awhile

That's pretty funny because we'd be having a serious discussion about our relationship if he didn't show me kindness and compassion on regular basis.

Again - D/s isn't about BDSM. It's a relationship. Period.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I can't get the quotes to function correctly.

Your post in reply is likely in violation but since moderator activity seems to be scarce I wouldn't worry about it much.

I am wondering why when OsideGirl replied to your statements, why you didn't just take it at face value.
The profiles you have listed are on the extreme end of things and really are not representative of the reality of the relationship between many couples.

I could have written what OsideGirl wrote.
That is mainly how it is between [my] Master and me.

A tip for you: if they mention relocation they are frequently scammers.
If they insist they are no limits slaves then ditto.
Google Image Search and Tin Eye are your friends. They won't catch all of the fakes and scammers but they will a catch a fair amount of them.

Meet people at munches if you able to go to them.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 2/14/2017 2:04:19 PM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 2:58:12 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I am wondering why when OsideGirl replied to your statements, why you didn't just take it at face value.
The profiles you have listed are on the extreme end of things and really are not representative of the reality of the relationship between many couples.

I give up. He's not getting it.

Yes, there are always scammers on dating sites regardless of whether it's kinky or not. But, just because someone has unrealistic expectations, doesn't automatically make them a scammer. They just may not know any better.

But, hell, why listen to me....I'm just some chick that survived dating kinky, with the shortest relationship being 18 months and has managed to be married to her M for 17 years. (Oh, and we'll leave out the degree in relationship counseling)

Clearly at 26 with no relationship - he's got a much better idea of how it works than I do.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 2/14/2017 3:54:30 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 9:06:03 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/3/2017
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I can't get the quotes to function correctly.

Your post in reply is likely in violation but since moderator activity seems to be scarce I wouldn't worry about it much.

I am wondering why when OsideGirl replied to your statements, why you didn't just take it at face value.
The profiles you have listed are on the extreme end of things and really are not representative of the reality of the relationship between many couples.

I could have written what OsideGirl wrote.
That is mainly how it is between [my] Master and me.

A tip for you: if they mention relocation they are frequently scammers.
If they insist they are no limits slaves then ditto.
Google Image Search and Tin Eye are your friends. They won't catch all of the fakes and scammers but they will a catch a fair amount of them.

Meet people at munches if you able to go to them.

Thanks, its just that this kind of profiles are so frequent, about one in every 3 or so, maybe even more, it is very confusing for newcomer.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: How many here are really fakes - 2/14/2017 10:44:41 PM

Posts: 5158
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

If she is young and gorgeous and can't easily find a partner nearby, then she's a fake. If the picture looks professional, then it's most likely a fake. If the picture is of young lady who is drop dead gorgeous and she needs to relocate to you to fine what she needs, she's probably a fake. If she is willing to relocate to you almost immediately, she's a fake. Use tineye and find out how many times the picture is online, and where it's posted.

In other words, if the profile is perfect and appears to be too good to be true, listen to the big brain in your head. Over 90 percent of those online are not whom or what they say they are. If you are willing (which you apparently are not since you started this whine) to weed out those 90 percent, then keep looking online. If the 90 percent annoy you then type the name of your city or state and the word munch into Google. You'll get to go meet people who are doing those things you only dream of doing.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to ffffff333)

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