RE: Do you know what five years means?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Do you know what five years means?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do you know what five years means?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 9:55:41 AM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

Ok, I rarely agree with Awareness.

But.....
Some morals are very questionable to many in western society.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
You fucked him too soon.

In my life time, I had 3 marriage proposals, only married one, turned down the other two.

All I fucked on first date.

Greta, you live in a society where men are desperate. Your experience is irrelevant.

I tend to agree with this and a previous comment he made.

Between my last marriage and this last one of 8 years, I did the usual dabbling that many men do when they are single.
But, my ultimate goal was for finding another partner, not a fuck buddy.
Of those women that fucked on a first date, I had no respect for at all and rarely met for a second time unless I fancied a free fuck for the hell of it.

If OP is claiming they were seeking a partner for something more meaningful, then they went about it the wrong way.
LL picked up on her posts and like me, picked up mixed signals - hence her comments.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica
Story of my life...:)

Okay, I just checked your profile. It positively screams "Desperate cum-dumpster with no self-respect".

Pictures of cunt on your profile mark you out as a sexual object, not someone worthy of a relationship. You're advertising a cunt for use, not a woman to be valued.

I haven't peeked but I'd agree with this in general.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to Awareness)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 2:05:46 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline

No reason to get aggressive with me. Sorry if I offended you in any way with posting my personal experience and my views here. I thought we are allowed to post the way we see things. I understand your point of view and up to a point you are right. But I do not see you understanding or even accepting that I may have the right to see things in a different light. I am very sorry to see such intolerance.

_____________________________

Re-invent yourself

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 2:08:23 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I seriously cannot comprehend the hostility in LL's post.

To me, dora simply is expressing puzzlement about her experience with one dominant who have told her he wanted exclusivity, made her agreed to it and then disappeared.

I also disagree about the criticism about not wanting vanilla.

I don't even know why her personal sexual preferences are being criticized? There are many dominants out there who are looking for long term relationships who wants zero vanilla in it too. It's not something uncommon.

Also, I didn't get the part where she thinks this guy should be laughed at, at all.

All I see is. The dominant was not honest with her. And she was honest with him.

Thank you dear. Glad someone understands.

Anyway, I am not upset in any way. These things happen. I was puzzled for a bit, posted about it, moved on.:)

_____________________________

Re-invent yourself

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 2:11:10 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline

Thank you for the understanding. I did not mean to sound contemptuous of the man, I did have a good time with him after all. I am always grateful for the pleasure I get and most of the times I keep a friendly relationships even after it is all over...

_____________________________

Re-invent yourself

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 2:22:14 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica

Story of my life...:)

Okay, I just checked your profile. It positively screams "Desperate cum-dumpster with no self-respect".

Pictures of cunt on your profile mark you out as a sexual object, not someone worthy of a relationship. You're advertising a cunt for use, not a woman to be valued.

I do not have pictures of cunt, but pictures of BDSM practices, in which I enjoy engaging.

I am looking for relationships (or short-term play) where, as a sub, I am the sexual object of the Dom.

Why is that not worthy of a relationship? BDSM is based on such core concepts after all. It goes without saying that despite that, there is mutual respect and most Doms value their sub immensely.

Respect is the name of the game. I may be a cum bucket, or a slut, but I have accepted myself the way I am, I like what I am, and I am looking for like-minded people.

Thank you for your input.

_____________________________

Re-invent yourself

(in reply to Awareness)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 3:02:26 PM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Seriously, I wish I would have read the whole thread before I looked at the profile. My own fault. Responders on the thread did try to warn me.

OP, the title of this thread has nothing to do with the content, unless you were expecting that any prospective Dom was going to be like the last one. I didn't see anything in the thread that said you were specifically seeking someone out who had the same qualities or any hints that you were trying to replace what was lost. I'm confused why you even brought the former Dom up in the discussion. I'm familiar with the expression of "the way to get over someone is to get under somebody else" but if you were actually looking for a dynamic out of this thing, I'm not really sure if that applies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica
In the end, I liked one profile the most and decided that he was probably the best match. I met him. He was very nice, everything went well and in fact he came to see me for a second time.

Then he stopped communicating. For about a week. I realized the shit had hit the fan. This means, you have found a man who wants to have a session and be done with it.

Strange people...

There's nothing strange about it. This is your basic "Master doesn't call me anymore" thread. The guy gave you time and attention until he got what he wanted, then he split. Usually, this is about sex, but in your case, the guy wanted some other stuff. I'll explain this in a sec.

quote:

The thing is though, HE was the one who insisted on a relationship, not I! I told him I just wanted to find one or two play partners, as I am not really in need of another D/s relationship at the moment. However, he said he is very possessive and if he were to be my Master (his words, not mine) I should belong only to him and stop communicating with others!

This says to me that the guy knew he was probably good for tapping the puss. He's just one of those guys who doesn't want anybody else hitting it when he's going to. He wanted to control the fact that he didn't want you sleeping with others. You handed him that control, so he got off on the fact that his was the only penis that would going into you or he wasn't big on the idea that other men could get exactly what he was getting or whatever. For the brief time frame, he wanted OPP (one penis policy) and that's what he got.

quote:

Because I have spent many years in training, softening inner contradictions and understanding my desires. I learned to accept opposing wants by prioritizing them. I think it a sign of maturity, as well as dominance.

I almost want to ask if you've been reading kink porn.

quote:

How dominant is a person who says one thing, thinks another, and does another?

Here's your problem, right here. I call this kind of crap the kink fairy dust. In other words, because this other person picked a label from a drop down menu, you expected him to be honest about his intentions, not say the things you might have wanted to hear for him to arrange the situation he wanted, etc. Literally, you expected the "MORE" about honesty, integrity, and so on just because a person signed up for a website and picked a label.

quote:

What bothers me is stupidity. I have little tolerance for it and when I see it, I point it out. Someone might benefit from it. It is like the tale "The emperor's new clothes". Someone has to say, "guys and girls, this man is not wearing any clothes!!!"

Ummm... I'm not trying to be mean here. The only person who this seems to be a newsflash to, is you.

I went and looked at your profile because I expected this kind of thread to be posted by someone half our age. (I'm only a couple of years younger than you.) Some young gal who had it in their head that just because some guy tells a female what they want to hear to get what they want and how that is some people's MO. Think of it in the same line as "I love you/want a relationship with you/pick your chosen poison here" to get whatever I'm trying to get. These are things I expect to have to tell my female off-spring. Not a woman my own age.

quote:

There was no need for him to demand exclusivity, to ask me not to play with others, to be the only one who ever fucks my pussy, to call me every day for one month and then suddenly stop, to say he will think about whether he wants to invest in a relationship. He asked me to invest, and then said he would think about investing himself.

Didn't need to do it? OK. Ask yourself if his method got him what he wanted. Seems to me, it did. For whatever reason, he wanted to be the only one currently doing you when he hit it. We Dominants tend to have this thing for controlling other people's sexuality. I won't speak for others, but I can assure you that one of the first things I'll do if I'm thinking of a submissive in a sexual way is to put myself in control of their orgasms. Those genitals are mine, not yours. I'll tell you when you can go for a ride on the amusement park.

quote:

I am not monogamous and I made that clear from the beginning. I was honest, as I always am. But the difference is, I know what I want... Some people are a bit muddled in their thinking. And quite stingy, I might add. I do not see how 5 minutes per day for a quick sms or a phone call is a serious investment. But it is a nice touch, and it does show respect, that you care about the person you play with, just a little bit...

I'm kind of funky about this. As a person, you should have the (general) level of communication that satisfies your wants. At the same time, if it's not something I'm willing to give, I don't consider it a match.

Somebody that I do a hit and quit with, I'm really not going to text every day. Next day check in? Yes. You get drop a day or two later? Sure. Am I still going to keep texting you next week? Probably not unless I'm looking to play with you again.

Since I did look at your profile, if that location is correct, there really is a kink community there. You don't have to stop engaging in casual play or even casual sex, if you don't want to. Go out. Have fun. Engage in kink. Have a blast doing it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 11:07:46 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Greta, you live in a society where men are desperate. Your experience is irrelevant.

What if I told you that the only Asian man I ever had sex with in my entire life is my x-husband?
Since a kid, all my boyfriends were white. And all my FwB are white men from all kinds of nationalities, European, Australian, US, UK etc.
Are they still considered desperate?
Usually they are well traveled, lived in many parts of the world, in higher management positions in their jobs and have good EQs. They would need diplomacy at the level of their jobs, interacting with so many different cultures and nationalities world wide. And they don't have a hard time getting women.

I didn't deliberately choose white guys. It wasn't a choice. I think I mentioned alot here that I am not a slim Asian woman, I'm pretty overweight since birth, being a 6lbs baby while my brothers were only 3lbs babies. So what happens with that is, Asian guys constantly nag at you to lose weight constantly. And that is a sex kill for me. Two things I promised myself. I will never date a man who have issues with my weight. And I will never date a man who supports Islam. My x-husband was the only rare Asian male I ever met who liked bigger women genuinely. When he left me for another woman, he left me for someone twice my size. She was caucasian though. And it kinda made me feel good because it was important to me, that I chose a man who genuinely was happy with my body. And the fact that he went for bigger tells me he was genuine. You know for an Asian man to impress a Caucasian woman is also very difficult. My x-husband also wasn't some desperate can't get women type of guy. That woman went after him.

White men knows how to shut up about my weight and they came from countries where they are used to women my size so I am not an abnormality to them. I wear a UK size 12. And most women here are UK size 6.

But interestingly when I shop in Australia. I fit into AU size 6. One of the reasons why I love buying clothes in Australia.

And out of 3 marriage proposals. I accepted the one Asian and said no to the white guys. Probably because I didn't want to relocate. I am not ready to uproot myself from a place I absolutely love being in. And Singapore is too expensive for them to permanently move here and be on local package instead of an expat package. Actually, I'd have to say 4. Prior to my x-husband, there was a Belgium dude but it involves relocation to Belgium, and I didn't want to relocate again. I want someone who can live in Singapore with me.

In your case, you managed to make the relocation to the US for your wife. Which is pretty cool.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/25/2017 11:36:39 PM >

(in reply to Awareness)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/25/2017 11:28:11 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica
I do not have pictures of cunt, but pictures of BDSM practices, in which I enjoy engaging.

I am looking for relationships (or short-term play) where, as a sub, I am the sexual object of the Dom.

Why is that not worthy of a relationship? BDSM is based on such core concepts after all. It goes without saying that despite that, there is mutual respect and most Doms value their sub immensely.

Respect is the name of the game. I may be a cum bucket, or a slut, but I have accepted myself the way I am, I like what I am, and I am looking for like-minded people.

Thank you for your input.

Don't worry about Awareness. He is actually rather conservative towards sexuality in many ways. And there will be loads of other men who thinks like him. But fortunately, not all. It's men with his mentality that are not our appropriate matches anyway.

Personally, I feel like putting yourself out there like this, being very open about your sexuality. What it does is bring out the ugliest in men who cannot stand it. You will get nastiness from people like Awareness or even some women who also are uncomfortable with other women being comfortable with their sexuality. And they wanna put you down for it.

But at the same time, along the way, like your wonderful 5 year relationship. You will meet men who love and appreciate you as well, just the way you are. Because they are sexually mature thinking and is able to see you as a human being despite embracing your sexuality and would actually admire you and appreciate it.

We have an old time poster Ishtar who is also not the traditional, wait till fall inlove to have sex type of woman, and even have had a past career in the flesh trade and she still found someone to love her for her sexuality and the way she is.

I know when I met my x-husband, I was honest with him from day one about my sexuality and my FwBs. And I knew he was the one when he had no reaction at all. Like it was normal. Although the marriage didn't last due to our sexual incompatibility. But he also left me for a woman who also had FwB and not was fucking him exclusively. So I know I married a man who didn't care about that.

If we were all the same type of sexuality standards. The world would be a very boring place.

This flawed argument about if you show your body parts, you will be treated as an object. Is of course only applicable to some men who actually, would not be suitable for you, as their thinking is so basic and shallow that they do not have the capability to see a human being beyond that.

I always take it as a way to filter the men unsuitable for me.

And seriously. Any man who sees a woman as "less" because her vagina got used by other men, to me, has personal issues. They reduce a human being to less for going out to enjoy her sexuality. I could not find a way to think positively of such a man for a life mate. One day he will be a father and my daughter may want to just enjoy sex without judgement. And then she'll have a father who is crucifying women who enjoys sex.

Because I would never see a man who's dick been into many other women as "damaged goods". There shouldn't be a double standard here at all. But there are imperfect guys out there and imperfect guys practices double standards. That's okay, not our type of men.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/25/2017 11:54:45 PM >

(in reply to doraSalonica)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 3:12:20 AM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Personally, I feel like putting yourself out there like this, being very open about your sexuality. What it does is bring out the ugliest in men who cannot stand it. You will get nastiness from people like Awareness or even some women who also are uncomfortable with other women being comfortable with their sexuality. And they wanna put you down for it.

But at the same time, along the way, like your wonderful 5 year relationship. You will meet men who love and appreciate you as well, just the way you are. Because they are sexually mature thinking and is able to see you as a human being despite embracing your sexuality and would actually admire you and appreciate it.
...
This flawed argument about if you show your body parts, you will be treated as an object. Is of course only applicable to some men who actually, would not be suitable for you, as their thinking is so basic and shallow that they do not have the capability to see a human being beyond that.
...
And seriously. Any man who sees a woman as "less" because her vagina got used by other men, to me, has personal issues. They reduce a human being to less for going out to enjoy her sexuality. I could not find a way to think positively of such a man for a life mate. One day he will be a father and my daughter may want to just enjoy sex without judgement. And then she'll have a father who is crucifying women who enjoys sex.

Greta, you are sooo naive about normal western society that you come out with a lot of bullshit.

Let me clue you in on basic acceptable behaviour from a western man...

When a man sees a woman 'putting herself out' and especially on a first date, the woman is seen as not much better than a prostitute/hoe.
That's all fine and dandy if that's what you want.
But if you want something more than a casual fling or play, men are looking for a woman they think is going to be somewhat exclusive to them.
In other words, a woman who isn't going to open her legs when the fancy takes her and treats her man with a little exclusivity.
They want a woman they don't have to worry about cheating on them behind their backs.
It has nothing to do with showing your sexuality, it's about having respect for your partner.
Maybe you do things differently in Singapore; but that's not how we (generally) do things in the west.

Actually, most men don't 'admire' sexually open women who can't keep their legs shut to every man they happen to meet and feel a bit horny.
As with most things, there is a time and a place for everything.
You were in an open marriage; which might be fine for you.
But in the west, that's the exception rather than the rule.

Having respect for each other is not 'shallow' or 'basic' and most men would expect their partner to be trustworthy unless they are treating the woman as nothing more than a free fuck.
And frankly, a woman that opens her legs for a fuck on the first date does not usually command (or deserve) any real lasting respect.
And yes, those sort of women are thought of as not much more than a sex object.

It's not about having been used by another man either - that's a strawman argument.
The fact that the woman is willing to to be fucked on a first date shows a lack of respect for her man and wouldn't be trusted.
They certainly wouldn't be 'admired' for such actions and certainly not considered for anything more than a free fuck.
It's not a case of seeing the woman as "less", more like "less trustworthy" and there's a big difference.
Sure, put yourself out there - but aim it at your man once you have established some sort of relationship.

What people do in a kink scene is completely different to behaving like that with a partner unless they've agreed to it.
If you are seeking anything more than a free fuck or a fling, trust is very important.
There's a huge difference between being sexually open and inviting every dick into your holes at every opportunity - that's just being cheap.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 4:28:23 AM

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

WD agrees with Awareness but there is something else i can quite put my finger on...no matter.

Normally I look at someones profile words & pictures before I weigh up my answer - I have just done so, belatedly. Some of those picture are horrible, well at least to me and I am uncertain what message you are trying to convey through those mediums - took me not to hurl - and i do not doubt many a person finds mine not to their liking.....

I almost want to ask if you've been reading kink porn. LP crossed my mind too...as did the 5 year narrative To me something is amiss on this one. But benefit of the doubt and all that I will refer OP back to my first two answers and wander back off to the tar and feathering forum for now.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 4:43:40 AM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Let me clue you in on basic acceptable behaviour from a western man...

When a man sees a woman 'putting herself out' and especially on a first date, the woman is seen as not much better than a prostitute/hoe.

The fact that 2 of my marriage proposals were from British men tells me you are full of shit. My x-dom was British too, and he absolutely loved his x-wife who fucked around ALOT before and after marriage. And he was her 4th husband. She lives in Britain and all her x-husbands were British. She was a British woman. Clearly British men loved women like her enough to want to marry her. So please don't tell me bullshit.

Your view does not represent the whole of Great Britain. And you are living in the stone ages.

quote:

They want a woman they don't have to worry about cheating on them behind their backs.

I agree with you that many men will feel absolutely insecure with a woman capable of sleeping with men without feelings involved. But to me, these are insecure men. That's their own personal issues. As I said. Often when men have problems with women sleeping around, it's 99% of the time, their own insecurity issues.

Men who experienced infidelity by their woman in their life time, will get even more paranoid about women who enjoys sex casually. So anyway, these are damaged men, they have their own issues. I don't bother with them as we aren't right for each other. I will never make him feel secure, as his personal issues are not my problem. He is projecting his own irrational fears of his past experiences on me.

quote:

It has nothing to do with showing your sexuality, it's about having respect for your partner.

You mean I have to stop enjoying casual sex when I am single for the sake of "showing respect" to my future partner who I have not met yet? WTF? Seriously dude? You're insane!

I think my these points covers all the other points you made. Point is. You are basically saying a woman who enjoys sex for sex cannot be trusted for fidelity. That is your own insecurity projecting. But not the truth of women who enjoys sex for sex.

So fortunately, there are plenty of women who can't have sex without feelings. And they would be your demographic.

But you are definitely projecting your own insecurities assuming all men suffer the same insecurities.

PS: I did not have an open marriage. I fucked my x-husband on first date. I was having multiple FwB before I met him which I told my x-husband I had within the first week of dating him. I was open and honest with him. We dated for 3 years before we got married. So we also gave each other time to live together and explore if we could really work out before marriage. After marriage, I gave him the option of open or close. He chose closed. So My marriage was not open. And it wasn't a challenge for me to stay close. As I just needed a man in my bed every night. My x-husband was in my bed every night. It worked out. Besides, I always believe in open communication and honesty. No skeletons in closet. I couldn't be with someone who I couldn't be fully honest and bare my soul to. I have never been unfaithful to any exclusive relationship in my entire life. But when I am single, I am gonna continue to have fun. Because I am single and beholden to no one, and I enjoy getting orgasms as a past time.

It's also a false security blanket to feel safe with a woman who isn't capable of having sex WITHOUT FEELINGS. What happens in most marriage where female cheat is when their husband NEGLECT their feelings. And they found some third party male start caring about their feelings. THESE Women gets sexual desire from men nurturing their feelings and listening to their needs. That's why they cheat.

Not because they are drawn to sex. But they are drawn to emotional intimacy.

So actually, it's woman like me that don't associate the enjoyment of sex with emotional intimacy that find it easier to be faithful. Because most husbands will end up at some point of time neglecting the emotional health of their wife.

I have platonic male BFF throughout my life time and I have alot of emotional intimacy with them without feeling any sexual attraction or even wanting to touch them at all. No sex ever occurs between us. It comes from having brothers that you can share anything with. I am close to my brothers, but I will never see them as any sexual anything. So I never associate emotional intimacy with sex ever.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/26/2017 4:58:35 AM >

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 8:43:13 AM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Somebody that I do a hit and quit with, I'm really not going to text every day. Next day check in? Yes. You get drop a day or two later? Sure. Am I still going to keep texting you next week? Probably not unless I'm looking to play with you again.

Edited

Couldn't agree more. Captured exactly what I wanted to express.

Your combination of overwhelming common sense and being human are however rare in these here parts.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 9:31:04 AM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I agree with you that many men will feel absolutely insecure with a woman capable of sleeping with men without feelings involved. But to me, these are insecure men. That's their own personal issues. As I said. Often when men have problems with women sleeping around, it's 99% of the time, their own insecurity issues.

Bullshit!
I may not speak for everyone but a man that has a problem with his woman sleeping around is not, I repeat NOT, his fucking insecurities!!
What utter fucking bollocks Greta.
If the woman is sleeping around, it's usually the woman that's the problem.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
You mean I have to stop enjoying casual sex when I am single for the sake of "showing respect" to my future partner who I have not met yet? WTF? Seriously dude? You're insane!

I didn't say anything about "the one you haven't met yet".
The conversation was about the one you have met and then opened your legs to on the first date.
We call that sort of woman a whore, or cheap.
As I posted, that's fine if that's all you want - a free fuck and nothing else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I think my these points covers all the other points you made. Point is. You are basically saying a woman who enjoys sex for sex cannot be trusted for fidelity.

I didn't say that.
Try reading what I wrote, not what you think I wrote.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
That is your own insecurity projecting. But not the truth of women who enjoys sex for sex.

I have no insecurities.
But what I do have is a sense of morality.
You seem to be devoid of that and think it's great and acceptable to open your legs and fuck on a first date.

You also seem to be of the opinion that men admire that sort of thing.
I'm telling you categorically that a very high proportion of men in the west DON'T unless its for a free fuck and nothing more.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex for sex.
Where there is a problem is when one of them does that without the permission or knowledge of the other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
It's also a false security blanket to feel safe with a woman who isn't capable of having sex WITHOUT FEELINGS. What happens in most marriage where female cheat is when their husband NEGLECT their feelings.

That's your opinion and not always the case.
But as usual, you make a sweeping statement and claim that as fact.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
And they found some third party male start caring about their feelings. THESE Women gets sexual desire from men nurturing their feelings and listening to their needs. That's why they cheat.

There is no need to cheat at all.
And it's obvious from many on these forums where this topic comes up that most also do not condone cheating.
Leave one person first before starting with another.
Cheating is frowned upon.

Oh, as an aside, the fact that you slept with and had problems with some British men just proves that you can't tar all British men with the same brush.
Two men isn't all of Britain.
Just as the ONE British woman you knew that was a whore and still found men that liked her enough to marry her.
One-off's and tiny samples do not make a broad statement to be true.
Location is irrelevant if you are going to make such sweeping statements.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 10:43:52 AM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
If the woman is sleeping around, it's usually the woman that's the problem.

This is double standard. So if a single man is sleeping around. There is no problem. But if a single woman is sleeping around. It is a problem?

I don't practice any double standards at all. Like I have no insecurity with men who loves to sleep around when I am with one. Zero. Perfectly comfortable with it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
The conversation was about the one you have met and then opened your legs to on the first date.

What you said is that I am disrespecting my partner by having sex with him on my first date with him? WTF? Seriously? What's wrong with you?

quote:

We call that sort of woman a whore, or cheap.
As I posted, that's fine if that's all you want - a free fuck and nothing else.

You know, you are actually an extremely misogynistic male. But please don't say "We" as fortunately, I have known so many British men in my life who have married women they fucked on their first date too to know that you are an abnormality. And I also know it is not uncommon for British women to fuck on their first date. And most British men do not have a problem with that. This is seriously your own personal issues and insecurity.

I mean, what is this "Free Fuck" Bullshit? You mean you NEED to pay for sex to feel the woman is worth something? Wow, okay! I assume you paid alot for your current wife then. She was not a free fuck for you? What did you pay for her?

I prefer sex to be all about my personal pleasure and it's about me and what I enjoy and find joy in and the joy I receive in having sex is my rewards for having sex. This bullshit about me having to quantify monetary conditions that I SHOULD require in return for sex is ridiculous.

I didn't think the way you approach sex would be so transactional.

quote:

I have no insecurities.
But what I do have is a sense of morality.
You seem to be devoid of that and think it's great and acceptable to open your legs and fuck on a first date.

I have sex because I enjoy sex. Not because of any other reasons other than I LOVE having sex. I don't date men I don't want to fuck. Infact, I have even refused to go out with men who told me they want to slow down and not want to fuck on first date. That's just me. Why should I stop enjoying sex for myself just because a small minority of men got "moral" issues with it?

Morals are bullshit reasons for denying a woman the right to enjoy sex for pleasure.

quote:

You also seem to be of the opinion that men admire that sort of thing.
I'm telling you categorically that a very high proportion of men in the west DON'T unless its for a free fuck and nothing more.

I don't agree with you about that at all. Perhaps because of the way that I am, I seldom hang out with men who got issues with women enjoying sex for sex.

quote:

There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex for sex.
Where there is a problem is when one of them does that without the permission or knowledge of the other.

That is not what you said. You said that a woman cannot have sex on first date because it would be immoral. EVEN if she enjoys sex for sex. It's still immoral. That's what you said.

quote:

That's your opinion and not always the case.
But as usual, you make a sweeping statement and claim that as fact.

But going by your logic that men only marry women who don't fuck them on first date. This means, all the married women are not "Fuck on first date" types. And yet a good percentage of them cheat anyway? So how does that fit into your logic?
They clearly cheat not because they were horny for sex. They cheated because emotional intimacy was disappearing in their marriage and they found it with a new man.

quote:

There is no need to cheat at all.
And it's obvious from many on these forums where this topic comes up that most also do not condone cheating.
Leave one person first before starting with another.
Cheating is frowned upon.

My point is that, your logic of the higher possibility of woman who fuck on first date to cheat is completely utterly flawed. And I explained exactly why.

quote:

Just as the ONE British woman you knew that was a whore and still found men that liked her enough to marry her.
One-off's and tiny samples do not make a broad statement to be true.
Location is irrelevant if you are going to make such sweeping statements.

Just like you, using yourself, as a representative of ALL British men is completely inaccurate too.
My original assertion is that, there are men who are close minded about women enjoying sex for sex. Like you and awareness which is not the demographic that OP and I are going for. There are enough women who needs emotions to have sex around. I'm not even competing for men like you as men like you guys are clearly not compatible with my ideology about how women should enjoy and embrace their sexuality and not allow precisely men like you to tell her she is less because she wants to enjoy sex.

And there are men who has the capability to appreciate women who embrace their sexuality and revel in it.

I've find this even more typical in Western men than Asian men. But you are using yourself as the ball park of a Western male to say this is not typical in the West. But I think you are just living in ancient times. Everything you say about British men, is not my typical experience with British men at all!

And it's actually really sad when people in a kink site are still slut shaming women. When kink involves all kinds sexual indulgence.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/26/2017 10:57:21 AM >

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 11:30:06 AM

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/13/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica

Story of my life...:)

Okay, I just checked your profile. It positively screams "Desperate cum-dumpster with no self-respect".

Pictures of cunt on your profile mark you out as a sexual object, not someone worthy of a relationship. You're advertising a cunt for use, not a woman to be valued.

I do not have pictures of cunt, but pictures of BDSM practices, in which I enjoy engaging.

I am looking for relationships (or short-term play) where, as a sub, I am the sexual object of the Dom.

Why is that not worthy of a relationship? BDSM is based on such core concepts after all. It goes without saying that despite that, there is mutual respect and most Doms value their sub immensely.

Respect is the name of the game. I may be a cum bucket, or a slut, but I have accepted myself the way I am, I like what I am, and I am looking for like-minded people.

Thank you for your input.

Sewn up or not, that's still a cunt in your profile pic

(in reply to doraSalonica)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 11:53:41 AM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenfromHell
Sewn up or not, that's still a cunt in your profile pic

While I have not looked at her profile at all to see what ya all are talking about since I loathe seeing naked pictures.
But I believe her when she says, she is simply putting pictures depicting what she enjoys in BDSM.

And they may involve private parts.

Why is this even such a big issue in a kink site?

I don't even get it!

(in reply to KittenfromHell)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 12:41:53 PM

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: doraSalonica

Story of my life...:)

Okay, I just checked your profile. It positively screams "Desperate cum-dumpster with no self-respect".

Pictures of cunt on your profile mark you out as a sexual object, not someone worthy of a relationship. You're advertising a cunt for use, not a woman to be valued.

I do not have pictures of cunt, but pictures of BDSM practices, in which I enjoy engaging.

I am looking for relationships (or short-term play) where, as a sub, I am the sexual object of the Dom.

Why is that not worthy of a relationship? BDSM is based on such core concepts after all. It goes without saying that despite that, there is mutual respect and most Doms value their sub immensely.

Respect is the name of the game. I may be a cum bucket, or a slut, but I have accepted myself the way I am, I like what I am, and I am looking for like-minded people.

Thank you for your input.

I can help you out, because even though i don't put pictures out, i am much the same as you. Most people here (pretty much everybody but me and perhaps one other) don't view themselves as you do. They view themselves as someone who enjoys kink/bdsm. Whereas you view yourself as a cum bucket or slut. I view myself as my Master's hole. That's the relationship. If there isn't that, there is nothing. So i will tell you that you won't get much support for being who and what you are here... which i can tell you is very disappointing.

(in reply to doraSalonica)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 1:01:32 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

Tamaka, but the point is, to me, words like "cum bucket", "slut", or "Master's hole", IF they are used by your Master, can be terms of endearment.

Your master doesn't mean you are just a "hole".

You are more than that to him than just a hole. And I am sure you know you are more than that to him.

And he likes you because you allow him to refer to you as his "hole". And you enjoy it. Mutual enjoyment.

That's what it is about!

End of the day, it's all about kink compatibility.

There are so many different dynamics that exists and that works!

All these people claiming otherwise. They are living in their little narrow universe.

The beauty that I loved about BDSM is all the varied incredible dynamics works.

Alot of relationships that seem impossible and incredulous just works.

I always believe there is somebody for everybody. We are all unique and our other half will be as unique as us that will fit us like a jigsaw puzzle.

I think alot of people are just projecting their own ideal dynamics onto OP which is not the dynamic that suits OP.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/26/2017 1:10:57 PM >

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 1:10:39 PM

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Tamaka, but the point is, to me, words like "cum bucket", "slut", or "Master's hole", IF they are used by your Master, can be terms of endearment.

Your master doesn't mean you are just a "hole".

You are more than that to him than just a hole. And I am sure you know you are more than that to him.

And he likes you because you allow him to refer to you as his "hole". And you enjoy it. Mutual enjoyment.

That's what it is about!

What do you mean i am more to Him than 'just His hole'? Great Holes are not as easy to find as you might think. Just His hole is what reality is for me with Him. If i wasn't His hole, i wouldn't be in His life. My purpose in His life is to be His hole. That's what i am all about. We don't have any other relationship than that. I'm not his wife (He's divorced and so am i). I'm not His girlfriend (He has a girlfriend of 16 years). I am His hole. Sure we go do things sometimes, and sure i serve Him in various ways (cooking, cleaning, serving His friends if He tells me to, etc)... But i am always nothing more or less than His hole. That's my only identity with Him. And that's the way it has to be... because that is who/what i really am. It is hard to find people here that understand that. The Goreans are the closest ones that do but they aren't around much anymore. Wonder why.

< Message edited by tamaka -- 2/26/2017 1:13:13 PM >

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Do you know what five years means? - 2/26/2017 1:13:50 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Sure... but it is also what reality is for me with Him. If i wasn't His hole, i wouldn't be in His life. My purpose in His life is to be His hole. That's what i am all about. We don't have any other relationship than that. I'm not his wife (He's divorced and so am i). I'm not His girlfriend (He has a girlfriend of 16 years). I am His hole. Sure we go do things sometimes, and sure i serve Him in various ways (cooking, cleaning, serving His friends if He tells me to, etc)... But i am always nothing more or less than His hole. That's my only identity with Him. And that's the way it has to be... because that is who/what i really am. It is hard to find people here that understand that. The Goreans are the closest ones that do but they aren't around much anymore. Wonder why.

You know what. You do have a relationship. Not a traditional one. But both of you are bonded together by enjoying the same dynamic. It's just not traditional. It's what works uniquely for both of you, so both of you fit each other.

(in reply to tamaka)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do you know what five years means?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.297