longwayhome
Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote:
ORIGINAL: doraSalonica quote:
ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Well dora, you left out some vital information in that initial post didn't you? You: "I have enjoyed a loving D/s relationship with a Master for five years and I felt safe and secure and content. This means everyday communication for five years. I joined the community here and advertised that I am looking for a Dom. I got many replies, and was at a loss trying to reply to all of them or prioritize.' That indicates YOU are looking for a partner, not a playmate. There are still men in the world that will try to cloak their doggedness in something more chivalrous. So you wanted a playmate and got one, albeit short term. You write as though he screwed you over, which he didn't. He simply played and moved on. Sorry, but what you did here was dishonest. You didn't want a relationship, yet went along with his talk about what will happen if you are his without the lies and the game you are playing being brought up. Trust is of vital importance in every relationship, and many say in a lifestyle relationship it is THE most important. You held back, you were dishonest from the start. The advice originally gave you is still valid to the question you presented, however the addition information you provided later just shows that honesty is always the best policy and you got want you wanted The way I see it, if he wanted to just play, he would have done just that. I was perfectly happy with it, as I told him from the beginning. There was no need for him to demand exclusivity, to ask me not to play with others, to be the only one who ever fucks my pussy, to call me every day for one month and then suddenly stop, to say he will think about whether he wants to invest in a relationship. He asked me to invest, and then said he would think about investing himself. I am not monogamous and I made that clear from the beginning. I was honest, as I always am. But the difference is, I know what I want... Some people are a bit muddled in their thinking. And quite stingy, I might add. I do not see how 5 minutes per day for a quick sms or a phone call is a serious investment. But it is a nice touch, and it does show respect, that you care about the person you play with, just a little bit... Oh well, it does not matter anymore. After all, W/we all get what we deserve in life. :) You seem to be living under the deluded idea that A: Dominants are a "more perfect" person than their s-type counter-type, and B: Dominant men are not as shallow as dominant women would be. That would be wrong on both counts. A woman your age should be well aware of the implications meant between "old pictures" and "recent," and yes it has everything to do with how you appear now. We are visual creatures. We like to see if the person we meet will likely be an embarrassment to us. That same assessment is made about you through your pictures. Everyone of your pictures shows your sexual desires. Your profile states that "in your experience" (which must be small) only "vanillas" are interested in looks. You "don't do vanilla." Well most people do at least some vanilla, because that's the way the cookie crumbles. If you simply smile warmly at your partner and offer a kiss when he walks in the door, that's vanilla no matter how many "orders" and "kinky feelings" are attached to it. I will grant you the guy could have fucked you and walked away. Wait, he did do just that. You want to blame him and not consider what part you might have played in that scene? You come off as VERY demanding in your profile, your profile shows you only as a sexual being, nothing more nothing less, and you basically insult anyone who doesn't agree with your assessment. Certainly would grab my attention. If I were looking for a dominant, which you neither are or are seeing. Even on this post, you want everyone to support your idea that this guy was in the wrong and should be laughed at. Woman, you are 50 years old! It's time to grow up. ESPECIALLY if you want a life in BDSM. Own up to potential mistakes you might have made, own them and move on. You and this guy weren't compatible neither for 1 night or for exclusivity yet (which you did agree to even though you state you are not monogamous. So were YOU being honest with him? I don't think so. The one thing you are 100% right about is it didn't work, it's over and it's time to move one. I would suggest you try to learn something from others posts, but I doubt you are willing to learn much, so I will simply say Good Luck. Bit harsh perhaps? I get the impression that the OP is feeling a bit confused or surprised by someone else's reaction, and that she is willing to look to herself for part of the explanation of that. Not sure that justifies a taking everything she has said here and on her profile to bits. To a certain extent feeling a bit let down when someone suddenly stops communicating is perfectly natural. I have to admit I like at least some contact whether something is "just" play or whether it is serious. It's nice to think that when you have fun with someone, both of you can be adult to communicate afterwards, at least once, in a polite and courteous way. I know it doesn't always happen and expecting it is on every occasion is unrealistic but I wouldn't knock someone for feeling a bit deflated.
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