lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (Full Version)

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BeMyPinkPet -> lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (2/27/2017 11:23:18 AM)

Hi Everyone,

I am noticing that many lesbian subs want to be a 'live in'. Is this because most of them are looking for someone to support them and provide a home? In other words, do you have to own a house and have a large income to get a sub female? I am clean, fit, and I think I'm attractive enough. I can be creative and fun too. My place is a nice place to visit and in a great area of the city that is easy to get to and has a lot going on. I just can't afford to support someone, nor do I necessarily want someone around me all the time. And even if I did, I would have to know them well enough to trust them having full access to my place and my things. Seems like many are looking for and expecting a Dom woman to do this for them.



OsideGirl -> RE: lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (2/27/2017 11:35:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeMyPinkPet

Hi Everyone,

I am noticing that many lesbian subs want to be a 'live in'.
You need to look around more - it's not just lesbians or women.

quote:

Is this because most of them are looking for someone to support them and provide a home?
In some cases, yes. In some cases it's a scam. In some cases they believe that the role of submissive is fulfilled by being the "housewife"

quote:

In other words, do you have to own a house and have a large income to get a sub female?
No.




Honestly, I would suggest attending events to meet people rather than online.



kiwisub22 -> RE: lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (2/27/2017 11:59:07 AM)

At my stage of life - moving towards cronedom - I would love to have someone support me financially in the manner to which I wish to become accustomed. Pity it isn't gong to happen - mainly because if my sweetie and I wish to retire in 4 years, I need to work to save the filthy lucre. It's such a drag not being born wealthy.

Though , I suppose , when I was looking for someone, I could have demanded someone to support me. Don't think it would have gotten me very far since i'm not young/beautiful/sweet/wealthy/skinny/slim/put adjective here. I have a funny feeling I would be posting on Collarchat about the lack of men willing to support me.

*sigh* I guess I have to put up with the lovely , intelligent, funny, sadistic bastard that I married. Life is hard!

And I'm sure that there is a lesbian submissive that would love to just meet - you just have to find her. It might not be easy, but neither is meeting ANYONE. (insert platitude here - my favourite is "Patience is a virtue").



WindAndSky -> RE: lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (3/7/2017 6:01:44 AM)

I feel like it's a bit of a stretch to think that "live-in sub" necessarily means "completely supported by the dom/me." Maybe they just want to live together, which is the goal for most vanilla relationships out there too. I refer to my boy as my "live-in sub" because he lives with me, but he certainly works outside the home, and contributes to the household.

There are definitely subs who want a free ride, and as Oside mentions, that's not just lesbians, or women. But for a lot of people, being a 24/7, live-in sub is a mark of commitment and the seriousness of the relationship, not an indication that they want to be fully supported. Those people also typically understand that it takes time to be at a place in a relationship where you're ready to move in together, and are hopefully talking about an "end-state desire," not an immediate want.



BeMyPinkPet -> RE: lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (3/13/2017 12:24:55 PM)

Vanilla relationship start by dating and seeing each other for a good while before even mentioning moving in together. Yet here they are with it in their profiles and won't even do the normal dating and seeing each other things first. It's mentioned right away by almost all of them. Not everyone wants to live with someone either. It doesn't mean you won't commit your ongoing time to them. It might mean that you don't feel like looking for a bigger place to live, or have other reasons why it's just not an easy thing to do. I don't understand why a sub lesbian can't be with a Dom woman and just see each other. The 24/7 thing is like you can't just have time to yourself and be an introvert and not always around someone. Living with someone is a lot more difficult and complicated than seeing someone and is not something I want to consider right away or even have mentioned before I even start having an affair with them at this point. Maybe some day I will feel differently.



WindAndSky -> RE: lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (3/14/2017 6:50:13 AM)

Most people can just be with someone, at least to start. You're right, vanilla relationships start that way, and so do most BDSM ones. For many people, though, living together eventually is a goal for them. Profiles are a good place to list goals and eventual ideals.

The best way to go about it is to ask them. "So, you mention being a live-in slave? How does that look for you, and at what stage of the relationship do you think it would happen? Do you think you could be happy being committed to someone, who is also committed to you, and not living together?" Everyone will have a different answer.

Why wouldn't you want to even talk about it, though? To me, being in a relationship for a long time and then finding out we're not on the same page seems potentially hurtful, to both of us.

I completely get wanting time to yourself. My sub and I are living together, and it is sometimes hard not to have that alone time, as much as I care for him and enjoy spending time with him. It is a trade-off, one that some aren't willing to make. But there are also ways to get that time occasionally. Have them take a cooking class or some such - better their service and get a few hours alone!

Not saying that you have to consider doing that, just that living with someone doesn't have to mean never being alone.



BeMyPinkPet -> RE: lesbian/bi sub for a Dom woman 24/7 vs visiting sub (3/14/2017 12:53:31 PM)

Thank you for your input. I am just not set up well to do the live in thing, nor do I want to move. Was hoping to find a sub girl for a local meet up and see where it goes from there. Saw another sub list her profile like that but she is far away. I used to find sub guys who were happy to come over and serve me. I wish the girls were more like their guy counterparts that way. Some hot looking guy on another site messaged me and said nothing about live in yet says he would like to serve me. Tempting.. He is fit and looks good. I wish he was a girl. I think your suggestion of what to ask is probably good. Will do if it comes up again.



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