RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/12/2017 8:23:49 AM

PantyhosedDomina

Posts: 46
Joined: 2/5/2017
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Ain't nothing wrong with love. Bring it on I say. The world would surely be better for it if there was more of it and less hate. People in love or loving something / someone in a good way don't want to hurt or do harm and that's great for everyone.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/15/2017 10:21:14 AM

TheWriter13

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Joined: 6/29/2012
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I honestly am of the opinion that a relationship is pointless if the partner does every little thing you do or say. I say ask him if he's in love and then ask him what matters more being with her or her obeying him. Then ask him why he can't let it slide every now and then. It sounds like the relationship (from what little I've skimmed) is slowly progressing into a vanilla one. She acts more like a girlfriend from what you've described. I suggest asking if he'd give up control of her to be with her.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/15/2017 11:35:56 AM

PantyhosedDomina

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheWriter13

I honestly am of the opinion that a relationship is pointless if the partner does every little thing you do or say. I say ask him if he's in love and then ask him what matters more being with her or her obeying him. Then ask him why he can't let it slide every now and then. It sounds like the relationship (from what little I've skimmed) is slowly progressing into a vanilla one. She acts more like a girlfriend from what you've described. I suggest asking if he'd give up control of her to be with her.

You say it right , Brother. He needs to determine / identify for himself what his priority is. Maybe a sub that does not care him about or cares about him but not as much but is obedient cos the sub likes his leadership and the kinky sex he provides or someone that actually cares about him and is also a bit challenging etc :)

< Message edited by PantyhosedDomina -- 3/15/2017 11:37:14 AM >

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/16/2017 4:07:23 PM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
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love does not have to be a interference but can be something that strengthens the dynamic deepening the bond intensifying the feelings.
my owner likes that i can think for myself i try very hard to please her and make thing easier for her.
each dynamic is going to be different and yours is no different. talk explore discuss and grow

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 9:55:33 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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I dont have the view I shouldn't love my slaves. In fact the very opposite. I am deeply in love with my three ladies. One of which is a newly begining elationship and ironically we first cross paths here on CM some ten years ago. I believe it's more insecurity and trust in that the love that causes D types to go soft. The other factor the d-type is not all that dominant as they like to portray and after awhile the lack of the dominance factor will come out. The former problem can be resolved the latter not so much.

As a note. I have never been accused of going soft in my dominance of my ladies. Largely because I am very much focus on building that secuirty and trust in the beginning of the relationship and maintain going forward. If everyone is authentic the path is rather incredible. But I have had a couple individuals come into my life who may of truly wanted the life. They were not honest with themselves. This lack of authenticity eventually ended those relationships.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 3:30:26 PM

tamaka

Posts: 5079
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I dont have the view I shouldn't love my slaves. In fact the very opposite. I am deeply in love with my three ladies. One of which is a newly begining elationship and ironically we first cross paths here on CM some ten years ago. I believe it's more insecurity and trust in that the love that causes D types to go soft. The other factor the d-type is not all that dominant as they like to portray and after awhile the lack of the dominance factor will come out. The former problem can be resolved the latter not so much.

As a note. I have never been accused of going soft in my dominance of my ladies. Largely because I am very much focus on building that secuirty and trust in the beginning of the relationship and maintain going forward. If everyone is authentic the path is rather incredible. But I have had a couple individuals come into my life who may of truly wanted the life. They were not honest with themselves. This lack of authenticity eventually ended those relationships.

For anyone out there interested in trying a poly relationship, i'd like to highlight two red flags of the kind of people to avoid getting involved with.
1st is the dominant is so unstable that he claims to be 'deeply in love' in a very new relationship. Unless of course he is a teenager.

2nd is the dominant/family takes no accountability for failed relationships. It is always only the 3rd subs fault.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 3:53:40 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I dont have the view I shouldn't love my slaves. In fact the very opposite. I am deeply in love with my three ladies. One of which is a newly begining elationship and ironically we first cross paths here on CM some ten years ago. I believe it's more insecurity and trust in that the love that causes D types to go soft. The other factor the d-type is not all that dominant as they like to portray and after awhile the lack of the dominance factor will come out. The former problem can be resolved the latter not so much.

As a note. I have never been accused of going soft in my dominance of my ladies. Largely because I am very much focus on building that secuirty and trust in the beginning of the relationship and maintain going forward. If everyone is authentic the path is rather incredible. But I have had a couple individuals come into my life who may of truly wanted the life. They were not honest with themselves. This lack of authenticity eventually ended those relationships.

For anyone out there interested in trying a poly relationship, i'd like to highlight two red flags of the kind of people to avoid getting involved with.
1st is the dominant is so unstable that he claims to be 'deeply in love' in a very new relationship. Unless of course he is a teenager.

2nd is the dominant/family takes no accountability for failed relationships. It is always only the 3rd subs fault.

Lmao.... you are a special type of stupid aren't you?

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 6:10:55 PM

tamaka

Posts: 5079
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I dont have the view I shouldn't love my slaves. In fact the very opposite. I am deeply in love with my three ladies. One of which is a newly begining elationship and ironically we first cross paths here on CM some ten years ago. I believe it's more insecurity and trust in that the love that causes D types to go soft. The other factor the d-type is not all that dominant as they like to portray and after awhile the lack of the dominance factor will come out. The former problem can be resolved the latter not so much.

As a note. I have never been accused of going soft in my dominance of my ladies. Largely because I am very much focus on building that secuirty and trust in the beginning of the relationship and maintain going forward. If everyone is authentic the path is rather incredible. But I have had a couple individuals come into my life who may of truly wanted the life. They were not honest with themselves. This lack of authenticity eventually ended those relationships.

For anyone out there interested in trying a poly relationship, i'd like to highlight two red flags of the kind of people to avoid getting involved with.
1st is the dominant is so unstable that he claims to be 'deeply in love' in a very new relationship. Unless of course he is a teenager.

2nd is the dominant/family takes no accountability for failed relationships. It is always only the 3rd subs fault.

Lmao.... you are a special type of stupid aren't you?

Yeah.... the smart kind.

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Post #: 28

RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 6:33:02 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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<FR>

No. The troll kind.

I'm curious. What do you get out of it? What's the point?

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 6:38:28 PM

tamaka

Posts: 5079
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

<FR>

No. The troll kind.

I'm curious. What do you get out of it? What's the point?

I think it's funny how you people call anyone who stands up for an opinion that doesn't kiss your ass a troll.

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Post #: 30

RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 6:39:39 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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Just popped into say hello and welcome back to Knights and his kyra...Nice to see you posting after such a long time. Happy to hear you are all ok:)

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/18/2017 7:56:16 PM

KnightofMists

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Thanks.. not sure we are sticking around. We just popped in more of sentimental reasons. Our triad has evolved into a quad and we first crossed paths with her about ten years ago on CM it funny how things go in life.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/21/2017 11:56:22 AM

NoirMetal

Posts: 508
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Love is a Dominant's strongest chain on a submissive. If it becomes a hindrance, you are not using it correctly.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/24/2017 8:23:41 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Lmao.... you are a special type of stupid aren't you?

ROFL... I was reading the remainder of this thread pondering an answer since my situation might be somewhat close to the question. But then I ran across Tamaka's post above and I literally burst out laughing.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 3/26/2017 9:25:24 AM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
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Maybe I am weird, but I have no such issue, since I do what I agree to do, and if I no longer wish to do it, we sit down and talk it through like adults.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 4/2/2017 6:14:04 AM

ThatDizzyChick

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quote:

I think it's funny how you people call anyone who stands up for an opinion that doesn't kiss your ass a troll.

They don't call me a troll.

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 4/2/2017 7:16:33 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Thanks.. not sure we are sticking around. We just popped in more of sentimental reasons. Our triad has evolved into a quad and we first crossed paths with her about ten years ago on CM it funny how things go in life.

That's it? Wham, bam add another to the clan and no details?

You suck. Sadist. ;P

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 4/2/2017 7:45:30 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Thanks.. not sure we are sticking around. We just popped in more of sentimental reasons. Our triad has evolved into a quad and we first crossed paths with her about ten years ago on CM it funny how things go in life.

That's it? Wham, bam add another to the clan and no details?

You suck. Sadist. ;P

Lmao... she use to go by the name calicowgirl... is that enough details.... but have started a blog... wemistsareone.wordpress.com more details there for inquiring minds

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 4/2/2017 8:02:19 AM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
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From: The Shire
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Can't they just adjust their roles? I'm not a slave or a sub- I'm just into kinky shit in the bedroom.

If he can handle that and is happy and in love that way. What's the problem?

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RE: When Love Interferes with Dominance and Control - 4/3/2017 9:14:10 AM

DesFIP

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There's something else. If he dreamed up these rules before meeting her, then half of them, minimum, should be disregarded.
You don't criticize a person for limping when their shoes don't fit.

If she doesn't need those rules, it's pointless to demand them.

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