quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

There are lots of things that I think misrepresent what a person sometimes labels their self as. I also think that sometimes what a person states they seek is not a true representation of a whole person, and again this is directed by the porn they watch, or the smut they read. People forget that the fantasies they have micro managed in their heads can not be managed as such in real life.

What I am with one person can be very different to what I will be with another. A prime example of that is that my ex would have told anyone that I was a Domme, but that's because I simply didn't trust him enough to give him any submission. In truth I'm a switch, and having had my ex playmate to explore that with, I really don't want to go back to holding myself back.

Being inferior may not really mean that you think you are, or that you want to be treated that way, but what I have seen is some people that want to give up all responsibility of adulting. These people label themselves as subs, or slaves, want to relocate, move in, be looked after, and already look as though they have nothing to contribute. That's not to say all people offering this particular little nugget, because all are different, but just an observation of some, and not all men either.

As for being broken, you either own that and don't let it control you whole life, or you allow it be your crutch for all the crap you do, thus allowing it to define the person you are.

Needles

We have at least one fine example of a wounded bird who squawks about here of late. The bird SO unloved by women. Don't let it in the house,it will leave a mess. Unfortunately, many people who come from a back ground of dysfunctional parents with overbearing and abusive personalities seem to want to perpetuate that cycle with subsequent romantic partners-because mommy for real would doubtless cut it off if he tried it with her.

I don't want that in the house either-it's not who I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

There are lots of things that I think misrepresent what a person sometimes labels their self as. I also think that sometimes what a person states they seek is not a true representation of a whole person, and again this is directed by the porn they watch, or the smut they read. People forget that the fantasies they have micro managed in their heads can not be managed as such in real life.

What I am with one person can be very different to what I will be with another. A prime example of that is that my ex would have told anyone that I was a Domme, but that's because I simply didn't trust him enough to give him any submission. In truth I'm a switch, and having had my ex playmate to explore that with, I really don't want to go back to holding myself back.

Being inferior may not really mean that you think you are, or that you want to be treated that way, but what I have seen is some people that want to give up all responsibility of adulting. These people label themselves as subs, or slaves, want to relocate, move in, be looked after, and already look as though they have nothing to contribute. That's not to say all people offering this particular little nugget, because all are different, but just an observation of some, and not all men either.

As for being broken, you either own that and don't let it control you whole life, or you allow it be your crutch for all the crap you do, thus allowing it to define the person you are.

Needles

We have at least one fine example of a wounded bird who squawks about here of late. The bird SO unloved by women. Don't let it in the house,it will leave a mess. Unfortunately, many people who come from a back ground of dysfunctional parents with overbearing and abusive personalities seem to want to perpetuate that cycle with subsequent romantic partners-because mommy for real would doubtless cut it off if he tried it with her.

I don't want that in the house either-it's not who I am.

Well that's what I mean, either you are self aware, and you own your broken self, put your pieces back together, and make yourself whole, or you forever keep throwing crap at people and blaming it on your broken pieces. The problem is that you never know where you stand with these people, for they constantly rearrange those pieces in to something different to suit themselves.

You can only blame so much on your past. Eventually you must grow up and take responsibility for what you choose to be. What happened in your past on cuts so much, you choose to cut the rest of the way.

Needles

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

There are lots of things that I think misrepresent what a person sometimes labels their self as. I also think that sometimes what a person states they seek is not a true representation of a whole person, and again this is directed by the porn they watch, or the smut they read. People forget that the fantasies they have micro managed in their heads can not be managed as such in real life.

What I am with one person can be very different to what I will be with another. A prime example of that is that my ex would have told anyone that I was a Domme, but that's because I simply didn't trust him enough to give him any submission. In truth I'm a switch, and having had my ex playmate to explore that with, I really don't want to go back to holding myself back.

Being inferior may not really mean that you think you are, or that you want to be treated that way, but what I have seen is some people that want to give up all responsibility of adulting. These people label themselves as subs, or slaves, want to relocate, move in, be looked after, and already look as though they have nothing to contribute. That's not to say all people offering this particular little nugget, because all are different, but just an observation of some, and not all men either.

As for being broken, you either own that and don't let it control you whole life, or you allow it be your crutch for all the crap you do, thus allowing it to define the person you are.

Needles

We have at least one fine example of a wounded bird who squawks about here of late. The bird SO unloved by women. Don't let it in the house,it will leave a mess. Unfortunately, many people who come from a back ground of dysfunctional parents with overbearing and abusive personalities seem to want to perpetuate that cycle with subsequent romantic partners-because mommy for real would doubtless cut it off if he tried it with her.

I don't want that in the house either-it's not who I am.

Well that's what I mean, either you are self aware, and you own your broken self, put your pieces back together, and make yourself whole, or you forever keep throwing crap at people and blaming it on your broken pieces. The problem is that you never know where you stand with these people, for they constantly rearrange those pieces in to something different to suit themselves.

You can only blame so much on your past. Eventually you must grow up and take responsibility for what you choose to be. What happened in your past on cuts so much, you choose to cut the rest of the way.

Needles

I'm older and tired of playing around. I don't do the rotating musical chairs poly game. I'm not going to just swap out some wandering second when I get tired of her bullshit. Tried that long ago, and it was a fucking nightmare. If you are going to take a woman into your life on a serious basis-She needs to be able to add value to it-not diminish it.

I have to care about the well being of my sub-there is too much intimacy involved to tie myself to mental illness.
If her self esteem is shit, I will live with a cloud 24/7.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UninhibitedDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

There are lots of things that I think misrepresent what a person sometimes labels their self as. I also think that sometimes what a person states they seek is not a true representation of a whole person, and again this is directed by the porn they watch, or the smut they read. People forget that the fantasies they have micro managed in their heads can not be managed as such in real life.

What I am with one person can be very different to what I will be with another. A prime example of that is that my ex would have told anyone that I was a Domme, but that's because I simply didn't trust him enough to give him any submission. In truth I'm a switch, and having had my ex playmate to explore that with, I really don't want to go back to holding myself back.

Being inferior may not really mean that you think you are, or that you want to be treated that way, but what I have seen is some people that want to give up all responsibility of adulting. These people label themselves as subs, or slaves, want to relocate, move in, be looked after, and already look as though they have nothing to contribute. That's not to say all people offering this particular little nugget, because all are different, but just an observation of some, and not all men either.

As for being broken, you either own that and don't let it control you whole life, or you allow it be your crutch for all the crap you do, thus allowing it to define the person you are.

Needles

We have at least one fine example of a wounded bird who squawks about here of late. The bird SO unloved by women. Don't let it in the house,it will leave a mess. Unfortunately, many people who come from a back ground of dysfunctional parents with overbearing and abusive personalities seem to want to perpetuate that cycle with subsequent romantic partners-because mommy for real would doubtless cut it off if he tried it with her.

I don't want that in the house either-it's not who I am.

Well that's what I mean, either you are self aware, and you own your broken self, put your pieces back together, and make yourself whole, or you forever keep throwing crap at people and blaming it on your broken pieces. The problem is that you never know where you stand with these people, for they constantly rearrange those pieces in to something different to suit themselves.

You can only blame so much on your past. Eventually you must grow up and take responsibility for what you choose to be. What happened in your past on cuts so much, you choose to cut the rest of the way.

Needles

I'm older and tired of playing around. I don't do the rotating musical chairs poly game. I'm not going to just swap out some wandering second when I get tired of her bullshit. Tried that long ago, and it was a fucking nightmare. If you are going to take a woman into your life on a serious basis-She needs to be able to add value to it-not diminish it.

I have to care about the well being of my sub-there is too much intimacy involved to tie myself to mental illness.
If her self esteem is shit, I will live with a cloud 24/7.

What he said.

Only the porn merchants go hunting for some broken brained emotional mess to 'do things' to cos shes in a sufficiently fucked up place to accept it.

Ds is about mastering your mind and body, both of you, to enhance both your lives. We might be flying the plane but we need a copilot to do it right. The 'I want a woman who I can hurt' and the abused women they target are the antithesis of what we do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Yep, for the men, or women with the right way of thinking, but you may, or may not be surprised at how many profiles show up on the front page of the other side seeming to look for that broken bird to manipulate.

On the flip side of that though; I've been the person having to deal with the broken victim player. The one using their past to manipulate everything to their advantage. Nothing is their fault, the drama lama is always to hand, the swoon is perfected, and they have shares in the body chalk company. Not only do they keep themselves in pieces, but they constantly look for ways to smash you down too.

It's exhausting, and far too many times I found myself at the end of a conversation apologising for something I hadn't actually done, being upset, and wondering how the hell it had got to that point, when actually it had started out by me pointing out that they had done something crappy in the first place.

It's one of the reasons I've been exceptionally happy on my own for the last two years.

Needles

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

I've reached the point where I'm the only one worth the best of me, for the time being

My field of give a fucks for the rest of it has been left well and truly barren.

Needles

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Yep, for the men, or women with the right way of thinking, but you may, or may not be surprised at how many profiles show up on the front page of the other side seeming to look for that broken bird to manipulate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

Yep, for the men, or women with the right way of thinking, but you may, or may not be surprised at how many profiles show up on the front page of the other side seeming to look for that broken bird to manipulate.
most of the profiles that show up on my main page are fake, scammers, or both >90% so it gets annoying - and another reason I go off on one, from time to time...ive no way to filter them away.



Ah enablers those who prey on the weak and vulnerable me no likey - needles

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Yep, for the men, or women with the right way of thinking, but you may, or may not be surprised at how many profiles show up on the front page of the other side seeming to look for that broken bird to manipulate.

The really depressing thing is that fucking EL James has convinced a lot of mouthbreathing victims who should be seeking counselling rather than trying to pick up somebody with a beard and a motorcycle that that's all a submissive is at heart.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Yep, for the men, or women with the right way of thinking, but you may, or may not be surprised at how many profiles show up on the front page of the other side seeming to look for that broken bird to manipulate.

The really depressing thing is that fucking EL James has convinced a lot of mouthbreathing victims who should be seeking counselling rather than trying to pick up somebody with a beard and a motorcycle that that's all a submissive is at heart.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UninhibitedDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Yep, for the men, or women with the right way of thinking, but you may, or may not be surprised at how many profiles show up on the front page of the other side seeming to look for that broken bird to manipulate.

The really depressing thing is that fucking EL James has convinced a lot of mouthbreathing victims who should be seeking counselling rather than trying to pick up somebody with a beard and a motorcycle that that's all a submissive is at heart.

Couldn't agree more.

A.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UninhibitedDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

I've reached the point where I'm the only one worth the best of me, for the time being

My field of give a fucks for the rest of it has been left well and truly barren.

Needles

Amen to that. I'm strictly a show me you understand why you want this and what you get out if it guy these days.

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

~FR~

Wow, such astute and perceptive psychological diagnosis from a simple headline in a profile. You guys are amazing. Don't know how you do it.

Two contradictory roads to this issue which you might wish to consider before concluding the label represents reality. Firstly, is the proposition for a long term relationship or just a play date? Presuming the profile is an advert for a long relationship might give your bitching a quantity of righteousness. However, a play date? .. . . meh!

Secondly, the presumption that the self-described kink has a solid foundation in some dysfunctional childhood relationships might play well on the cover of Psychology Today but might just as well be divorced from reality as believing the kink is the work of Satan. C'mon, are we back to that old saw that diagnosed the genesis of gay men in absent fathers and overbearing mothers? Really? From what I have read, the very best we know is that dysfunctional childhood experiences may create stress that is carried over into adulthood and may lead to compulsive behaviors and addictions. I've been told that in the movie Fifty Shades of Grey the sadistic nature of Mr.Grey was traceable to some childhood trauma. Was that so? And isn't that just so much pop-psych garbage? Hell, I have a variety of intriguing kinks that I have roll-played or fantasized over, for which I have no clue as to origins in my personality development. So, I wonder if you are not all being just a bit too judgmental.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

~FR~

Wow, such astute and perceptive psychological diagnosis from a simple headline in a profile. You guys are amazing. Don't know how you do it.

Two contradictory roads to this issue which you might wish to consider before concluding the label represents reality. Firstly, is the proposition for a long term relationship or just a play date? Presuming the profile is an advert for a long relationship might give your bitching a quantity of righteousness. However, a play date? .. . . meh!

Secondly, the presumption that the self-described kink has a solid foundation in some dysfunctional childhood relationships might play well on the cover of Psychology Today but might just as well be divorced from reality as believing the kink is the work of Satan. C'mon, are we back to that old saw that diagnosed the genesis of gay men in absent fathers and overbearing mothers? Really? From what I have read, the very best we know is that dysfunctional childhood experiences may create stress that is carried over into adulthood and may lead to compulsive behaviors and addictions. I've been told that in the movie Fifty Shades of Grey the sadistic nature of Mr.Grey was traceable to some childhood trauma. Was that so? And isn't that just so much pop-psych garbage? Hell, I have a variety of intriguing kinks that I have roll-played or fantasized over, for which I have no clue as to origins in my personality development. So, I wonder if you are not all being just a bit too judgmental.

Vince we have dated the sorts of people we are talking about. Now we are not. I have had women from casual play dates at clubs that were never meant for more than practice want to follow me home after. Have you ever been a top?

quote:

Who gives a crap about Fifty shades of shite? It's about as far removed from real BDSM as Vanilla is.