vincentML
Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:
I know a transgender woman who is actually very masculine. In fact most people looking at her would probably think that she is still a man, and she really doesn't care about that. She didn't transition for anyone but herself.
@Needles, I believe you are conflating and confusing physical appearance with gender identity, and both appearance and identity with erotic desire. There is nothing to prohibit a self-identified cis male with the shoulders and biceps of a lumberjack from wishing to be spanked by petite cis female, is there?
@LP. thank you for your generous words.  I am kind of an old fashioned guy, a shy guy when exposing my kink. But, funny thing about aging; it sets me free from my inhibitions. So, here I am, hanging out the wash.
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So many good comments here. My knee-jerk reaction, though, is to side with Des. The porn fueled 'inferior male' or 'worthless worm' kind of thing is a major turn off. That theme (and several others) worked well for the porn industry because there wasn't just this big thing about accepting one's desires and working from there.
You and Des raise an important issue here. A chicken or the egg question? ~~ which I earlier discounted because the parents were forced to shoulder the "blame" for the development of gay male behavior. In the broader sense (and pretending to have a knowledge of psychology) we can ask the question: which came first the pattern of behavior as a social meme or the behavior itself? Did Jung's archetypes precede the erotic magazines or did the magazines make up an acceptable image simply by chance that colored in between the lines of Jung's archetypes? I was very much influenced by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs but I cannot swear whether it preceded my kink or followed it. How would I know how to behave if not for the media? Or, was I excited by the images in magazines before I ever knew about the rationales in Venus? Clearly, Leopold predated the magazines I saw during my teen years, but I was not aware if him. So, confusing. But really simple enough. The model was out there and i conformed my behavior to it. Or, I had these strange desires and I found a rationale for them. Which?
But wait, it can get even more confusing. A Hungarian born Canadian physician, Dr. Gabor Mate created a stir about ten years ago when he published his theory that the cause of adult addictions can be found in childhood stress events Mate's definition of addiction is broad enough to include some paraphilia like BDSM inferiority.
Dr Maté defines addiction as any behaviour or substance that a person uses or takes part in that has negative consequences. The person tries to stop but will crave the substance or behaviour and will ultimately relapse. By this definition there are many things in modern culture that have the potential to become addictive such as gambling, sex, work and of course drugs.[10] He argues the "war on drugs" actually punishes people for having been abused and entrenches addiction more deeply as studies show that stress is the biggest driver of addictive relapse and behavior.[5] He says a system that marginalizes, ostracizes and institutionalizes people in facilities with no care and easy access to drugs, only worsens the problem.[5] He also argues the environmental causes of addiction point to the need to improve child welfare policies (e.g. U.S. welfare laws that force many single women to find low-paying jobs far away from home and their children) and the need for better support for families overall, as most children in North America are now away from their parents from an early age due to economic conditions.[5] He feels that society needs to change policies that disadvantage certain minority groups, causing them more stress and therefore increased risks for addictions.[5]
There has been a lot of comment in the area of addiction and childhood stress the last ten years or so.
Geneticists have discovered DNA~altering mechanisms that can link childhood stress to adult addictions, but I am way in over my head at this point, so I'll quit here.
Very much interested in your replies.
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vML
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.
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RE: inferior? - 
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Yeah, but let's not give old Walt a pass. And what's with that duck running around without pants?
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