What does a Submissive mean to you?

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What does a Submissive mean to you? - 3/28/2017 6:46:49 AM

WickedsDesire

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Joined: 11/4/2015
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A seemingly simple question is it not.

So what does:
Being a submissive mean to you
Wanting a submissive
Knowing a submissive
Why are you submissive
Why do you want a submissive
what do you offer and why and to whom

Never forget a submissive is not a singular fixed point, or being, nor existance within ~~space-time~~ - reality

All perspectives are welcome - always applies to any thread I ~~start~~ waffle anywhere

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RE: What does a Submissive mean to you? - 3/31/2017 8:46:07 AM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
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Submissive for me is simply willingly giving up control to the other person. It is also trusting the other person will not harm me. I need to be able to inherently trust the person before I could give complete submission to them.

I am not a submissive person by nature. At work I am actually rather dominant. In public I am a polite gentleman but flirt on the dominant side.

The why I am submissive:
This will very for each individual. For me, I derive pleasure from 3 basic parts.
1) Seeing/feeling that my actions please my partner and my partner is happy. This is a sensory thing for me. It is not enough that I did something to please my partner but I want to experience their reaction that what I did please them.
2) It is a release mechanism for me. At work I am in charge. I make all the decisions. I rarely get 2 minutes to myself without some approaching me asking what to do, or how to solve a problem or we have an emergency and don’t know what to do. Giving up control, giving up the right/need to make a decision is a huge weight lifted off of me. It is a form of peace I rarely get to enjoy.
3) The power exchange. This is hard for me to describe into words but there is an energy flow between the 2 of us. It flows in both directions. It is exciting, exhilarating, mesmerizing, and creates and endorphin high like no drug or alcohol come even come close too. It is addicting and once you have had it, you want more.

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RE: What does a Submissive mean to you? - 3/31/2017 6:26:18 PM

kiwisub22

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I identify as a masochist submissive - which to me means that if I give control to a dominant I trust him to be in control of himself first, and me second. Control to me means he gets to dictate anything he wants - outside of my work and my genetic family. And for those, he gets to give me his input.

My late dom originally was gorean, and in his old age mellowed into something easier - he gave me his rules, I followed them. If there was something I disagreed with or was ambivalent about, I could raise the matter and he would consider it. He didn't tolerate smartarseness or disobedience. He didn't enjoy "forcing" submission. Dominance was how he lived his life, and submission was how I lived my life with him.

Oddly enough , for me, submission was a very easy way of life for me. I didn't have to guess what he liked and wanted, because he told me, and I did it. Emotionally, it was very restful. Being submissive was never a struggle for me - except for the first time he instructed me to undress in a crowd of people at a party. Even then, I knew it came down to doing it or not doing it and losing the relationship, so, very easy. There was nothing in our relationship that was about me, and I flourished.

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RE: What does a Submissive mean to you? - 3/31/2017 10:45:31 PM

heavyblinker

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire
So what does:
Being a submissive mean to you
Wanting a submissive
Knowing a submissive
Why are you submissive
Why do you want a submissive
What do you offer and why and to whom

Never forget a submissive is not a singular fixed point, or being, nor existance within ~~space-time~~ - reality

All perspectives are welcome - always applies to any thread I ~~start~~ waffle anywhere

Well, ideally it would be me finding someone I really like spending time with, and then they also like what I like.

I was a big newbie when I joined this forum and I've since realized I could never be a slave because I actually like having money and a degree of control over my life and doing what I want to do. In fact, every time I've let other people take the lead with such things it just made me angry and frustrated-- like traveling with people who just want to get drunk or who are afraid of spending money or who just want to do whatever they did back home. Plus, I can be really moody and there is a point where if someone is seriously beating me down verbally or psychologically I get really pissed. Probably not the best quality in a sub haha.

My one experience with a domme was with a narcissistic bitch-- I enjoyed some of it and deluded myself into thinking I could change, but she had too many obvious delusions for me to ever take her seriously... and she was definitely not making me a better person. In fact, around her I was much much worse. Plus, she was probably the most physically unattractive woman I have ever been with, and yet was completely deluded about it all... I think I thought that since she was offering things I couldn't get anywhere else and we clicked in a few other areas, I could get used to it. Nope!

I definitely have masochistic leanings but after reading posts by a lot of dommes on here, I've realized that's probably not enough to ever give any of these women what they seem to want, and in fact would probably just piss them off. I don't mind cooking, cleaning, doing my part, etc... but as for doing all of that whenever they want while they sit on their ass just because that is my 'role'? Well, it's probably possible, but it would have to be someone really spectacular.

I think I mostly thrive in a more equal partnership... and I actually really enjoy normal vanilla sex... in fact, aside from wanking to the memories of my BDSM experiences, what I got from my vanilla relationships is far superior to anything I ever got out of the BDSM relationship, mostly because I actually cared about the person I was with. I think I just like strong women with liberal values who know what they want and aren't afraid to get it or take charge sometimes-- but I don't want to be abused or manipulated or controlled by them haha.

At this point I'm only really here because I enjoy the endless trolling on the politics board. I'm probably not even close to answering the questions posed here-- to be honest, I just wanted to make this confession without calling too much attention to myself by starting another thread.

< Message edited by heavyblinker -- 3/31/2017 10:47:26 PM >

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