Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Respect


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Respect Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Respect - 4/11/2017 2:27:21 AM   
subsamwife


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/3/2017
Status: offline
Hi recently joined and enjoying this site .
Had some really nice comment and advice from polite people x
On the other scale had a few that just want pics and nothing
It wont deter me from finding what I am looking for but some women would run a mile and leave site .
We women might be sub but please show some respect before we meet x
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 6:38:52 AM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

Hi recently joined and enjoying this site .
Had some really nice comment and advice from polite people x
On the other scale had a few that just want pics and nothing
It wont deter me from finding what I am looking for but some women would run a mile and leave site .
We women might be sub but please show some respect before we meet x

Firstly, not all women are sub.

Secondly, just showing up is not a guarantee of respect from a group of anonymous posters who have the most diverse agenda imaginable. It might surprise you to learn that some are here just for the thrill of troubling little girls.

If you seek respect best to project your own self-respect and display it with meaningful contributions to the discourse. Whining and complaining from the start will not win points.

Other than that, welcome to the Boards; I wish you luck and good fortune for finding what you seek.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 7:03:54 AM   
subsamwife


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/3/2017
Status: offline
That reply is why I would never meet you !!

(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 7:43:57 AM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

That reply is why I would never meet you !!

I was simply offering my observations from decades in BDSM. If my comments were offensive to you, you are a hypersensitive person who is in for a world of hurt.

Good luck.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 8:25:02 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5157
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
I thought Vincent was very honest, polite, and respectful. He gave you some good advice.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:01:56 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

Hi recently joined and enjoying this site .
Had some really nice comment and advice from polite people x
On the other scale had a few that just want pics and nothing
It wont deter me from finding what I am looking for but some women would run a mile and leave site .
We women might be sub but please show some respect before we meet x


I'll tell you the same thing I tell my kids, when they come whining to me that life isn't fair:

quote:

A Gift for My Daughter

by Harry Browne
December 25, 1966


(This article was originally published as a syndicated newspaper column, dedicated to my 9-year-old daughter.)

It’s Christmas and I have the usual problem of deciding what to give you. I know you might enjoy many things — books, games, clothes.

But I’m very selfish. I want to give you something that will stay with you for more than a few months or years. I want to give you a gift that might remind you of me every Christmas.

If I could give you just one thing, I’d want it to be a simple truth that took me many years to learn. If you learn it now, it may enrich your life in hundreds of ways. And it may prevent you from facing many problems that have hurt people who have never learned it.

The truth is simply this:

No one owes you anything.

Significance

How could such a simple statement be important? It may not seem so, but understanding it can bless your entire life.

No one owes you anything.

It means that no one else is living for you, my child. Because no one is you. Each person is living for himself; his own happiness is all he can ever personally feel.

When you realize that no one owes you happiness or anything else, you’ll be freed from expecting what isn’t likely to be.

It means no one has to love you. If someone loves you, it’s because there’s something special about you that gives him happiness. Find out what that something special is and try to make it stronger in you, so that you’ll be loved even more.

When people do things for you, it’s because they want to — because you, in some way, give them something meaningful that makes them want to please you, not because anyone owes you anything.

No one has to like you. If your friends want to be with you, it’s not out of duty. Find out what makes others happy so they’ll want to be near you.

No one has to respect you. Some people may even be unkind to you. But once you realize that people don’t have to be good to you, and may not be good to you, you’ll learn to avoid those who would harm you. For you don’t owe them anything either.

Living your Life

No one owes you anything.

You owe it to yourself to be the best person possible. Because if you are, others will want to be with you, want to provide you with the things you want in exchange for what you’re giving to them.

Some people will choose not to be with you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. When that happens, look elsewhere for the relationships you want. Don’t make someone else’s problem your problem.

Once you learn that you must earn the love and respect of others, you’ll never expect the impossible and you won’t be disappointed. Others don’t have to share their property with you, nor their feelings or thoughts.

If they do, it’s because you’ve earned these things. And you have every reason to be proud of the love you receive, your friends’ respect, the property you’ve earned. But don’t ever take them for granted. If you do, you could lose them. They’re not yours by right; you must always earn them.

My Experience

A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything. For so long as I’d thought there were things I was entitled to, I’d been wearing myself out — physically and emotionally — trying to collect them.

No one owes me moral conduct, respect, friendship, love, courtesy, or intelligence. And once I recognized that, all my relationships became far more satisfying. I’ve focused on being with people who want to do the things I want them to do.

That understanding has served me well with friends, business associates, lovers, sales prospects, and strangers. It constantly reminds me that I can get what I want only if I can enter the other person’s world. I must try to understand how he thinks, what he believes to be important, what he wants. Only then can I appeal to someone in ways that will bring me what I want.

And only then can I tell whether I really want to be involved with someone. And I can save the important relationships for those with whom I have the most in common.

It’s not easy to sum up in a few words what has taken me years to learn. But maybe if you re-read this gift each Christmas, the meaning will become a little clearer every year.

I hope so, for I want more than anything else for you to understand this simple truth that can set you free: no one owes you anything.

http://www.harrybrowne.org/articles/GiftDaughter.htm


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:19:12 AM   
subsamwife


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/3/2017
Status: offline
Firstly I am not a kid and it was my experience I shared and you seem to like to put negative comments on lots of posts
Get a nice woman or man to attend to your needs as you seem frustrated x

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:32:36 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3315
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
I love that post. The only thing missing is some emphasis on the flip side: we don't owe anyone anything. As in, we are not required to set ourselves on fire so someone else can get warm, unless we choose to. That for many of us is the harder truth to absorb.

Edit to add: methinks this asshole OP is a sock/troll.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:32:53 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

Firstly I am not a kid





No, but you still behave like one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

and it was my experience I shared


Actually, you didn't just share your experience.

You came here and told people what to do [be respectful to you], based on a threat [if you don't, women will leave the site]. Which is rather ironic, because presumably, the people who were rude to you aren't even here [on the forums], and won't even read what you've said [nor would they care].

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

and you seem to like to put negative comments on lots of posts


I don't believe that's true.

My comment to you, for instance, wasn't a negative one. It was an educational one based on a piece of essential adult knowledge that you so far seem to have been lacking off.

As far as my comments on other posts being negative, based on the feedback I've gotten on those, I again don't believe that's true.
Instead, I think that you're trying to lash out and hurt my feelings because you don't like that I didn't instantly agree with you, and went along with a bitch fest about how unfair it is that people are mean, and how everybody should be respectful and sing kumbaya.

Which only reinforces my believe that you are in dire need of reading -and hopefully grokking- "A gift to my daughter", because apparently that piece of crucial information was somehow lacking in your upbringing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

Get a nice woman or man to attend to your needs as you seem frustrated x



This is a prime example of why you come across like a petulant child. Here I am, giving you advice, and what do you do in response? You attack me with an ad hominem.

FYI, I'm in a long term marriage poly relationship, and have got both a man, and a woman in my life. Not that said information will make a difference to you, because you're obviously not interested in logical discussion, but rather are looking to lash out to anybody who doesn't immediately agree with you and tells you what you want to hear.

I again would like to -strongly- urge you to read "A gift to my daughter" and ponder it deeply.
I promise, life -in all it's facets, both interpersonal, as well as professional, and privately- will become better, and more joyful for you if you can assimilate the idea put forth in it in your way of life.

Good luck.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:41:55 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I love that post. The only thing missing is some emphasis on the flip side: we don't owe anyone anything. As in, we are not required to set ourselves on fire so someone else can get warm, unless we choose to. That for many of us is the harder truth to absorb.


He does mention it:

quote:

No one has to respect you. Some people may even be unkind to you. But once you realize that people don’t have to be good to you, and may not be good to you, you’ll learn to avoid those who would harm you. For you don’t owe them anything either.


But you're right that, in the context of the message, it's kinda glossed over.
It's one of the things I always overemphasize with the kids when the subject comes up -that not owing anything is a two way street- because it's not where his focus is.

I feel he also neglects to mention that you can enter into interpersonal relationships, by choice and mutual agreement, in which things are owed (fidelity in an agreed monogamous relationship, to give an example), and that, in those cases, you're right to defend what's owed to you, as well as feel upset/betrayed if they are not granted. Although, even in those cases, it's still most healthy to realize that when somebody is not living up to the promises they freely made to you, the best thing you can do is no longer associate with them, as waiting around for them to change, and 'trying to collect' on the promises they made and broke, rarely -if ever- works.

But then again, how many crucial ideas can you fully expand onto in a single newspaper column?

Even with some of the finer nuances of the idea missing/not fully emphasized, I totally agree with him that there's enormous, inestimable freedom to be found in fully internalizing that things just aren't owed, either by you, or to you.



< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 4/11/2017 9:42:46 AM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:45:00 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline
You can bitch and whine to your heart's content but, when you're not even intelligent enough to post your personal ad in the proper forum and instead post it in the Ask a Master discussion forum, I'd say you shouldn't criticize others.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:49:42 AM   
subsamwife


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/3/2017
Status: offline
Your the bitch lol

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:53:11 AM   
subsamwife


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/3/2017
Status: offline
I have not read your mindless drivel as i have no interest in your opinion or views of a grumpy old fool

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:55:47 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

I have not read your mindless drivel as i have no interest in your opinion or views of a grumpy old fool


I'm about 20 years younger than you claim to be.

But keep trying... maybe you'll eventually find an ad hominem which is at least accurate... not that it'll make any more impact than the inaccurate ones, considering that I don't feel like strangers on the internet ought to be nice to me...

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:56:21 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline
If it looks/reads like a sock, socks like a sock, its a fuking sock.



(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 9:57:02 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline
For you to insult me, I'd first have to value your opinion. I DON'T! Oh, and it's you're not your.

Babe In Total Control of Herself

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 10:01:25 AM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsamwife

I have not read your mindless drivel as i have no interest in your opinion or views of a grumpy old fool


I'm just curious. If you haven't read it, then how do you know it is mindless drivel?

_____________________________

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers


(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 10:02:34 AM   
subsamwife


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/3/2017
Status: offline
Ok granny

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 10:09:03 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline
You're 50 and you're calling me granny? LOL I don't need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see you're a train wreck from way over here

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Respect - 4/11/2017 10:37:46 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
I have to agree with the other posters - even those that I don't normally agree with.

You come across as a self-opinionated whiney little troll with no respect for anyone else.
And yet you demand it from others???
And.... not intelligent enough to post in the correct forum.

Sheeesh!
You don't deserve our help or our respect.


_____________________________

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to subsamwife)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Respect Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.058