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Fuuuuck..... - 4/25/2017 5:46:10 PM

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...just spent the last 4 hours trying to find my Mom...82...(car phone, cell phone, house phone....8 times each...called three neighbors).

I'm 58, single....still can't boil water....it was not my best day.

(Mom's fine...I chewed her out for not answering her phone...she reminded me...while I was crying and screaming at her...that...there were a couple of times when I ran away when I was 11 (it was a guy thing) and she was wondering where I was....LIKE THAT HAS ANY BEARING ON THIS EVENT!!!)

Anyway...Mom and I are going out on Sunday.

(And she WILL from NOW ON be calling me TWICE a day!!! GAWDAMMIT!!!!).

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/25/2017 6:11:45 PM

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Get one of those GPS trackers, like the ones you can buy to put on your cat or dog.
Then have it installed into a lovely piece of jewelry, maybe a bracelet or locket necklace.
Or plant some Nest cameras in her house where she can't see them, and have real time video of her transmitted straight into your phone!
Then you'll be able to sleep sweetly at night.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/25/2017 7:02:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Get one of those GPS trackers, like the ones you can buy to put on your cat or dog.
Then have it installed into a lovely piece of jewelry, maybe a bracelet or locket necklace.
Or plant some Nest cameras in her house where she can't see them, and have real time video of her transmitted straight into your phone!
Then you'll be able to sleep sweetly at night.

Maybe a leash too.

That was just purely unacceptable behaviour!!!

(Going around....having her hair cut and such).

If I could make my own food, that would be ONE thing but....until that changes...she has a RESPONSIBILITY to stay alive!

I may have to get her a driver and a car.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/25/2017 8:20:59 PM

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Or move her into your house ...............

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/25/2017 8:44:32 PM

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Yes what the heck! Put on an addition for her.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 7:03:07 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AtUrCervix
If I could make my own food, that would be ONE thing but....until that changes...she has a RESPONSIBILITY to stay alive!

Am I going to have to delve into basic cooking lessons here again?

That didn't work out too well last time, but that was my fault.

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 7:27:34 AM

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FR

So don't boil water and make a sandwich!

Geez! It's not that hard to make food!

(in reply to Edwird)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 3:35:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Or move her into your house ...............

I'm working on that.

She wants a waterfront place (like she has now)...HUUUUGE waterfront place....like...Seattle...I (can't) afford (well...I can but then..I can't actually take chics out...currently she's clear...but...if she wasn't...she wouldn't want her boy NOT to get some PUSSY!!!)...ya know like...not Seattle...she's got a place on the gawdamn fucking water!!!

But...I don't want her to spend a penny to live with me ("Jon...I can sell my place"...."no...unacceptable")....

It's a HORRIBLE conundrum....

Anyway...I love my Mom...I'd spend everything for her...I will....

Hmm...she's my baby...I was once hers...she's everything....she is the world...

(To me).

Ain't NOTHING else.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 3:37:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

FR

So don't boil water and make a sandwich!

Geez! It's not that hard to make food!

(You have not lived in my kitchen...or....my complete ineptitude....sue me...).

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 4:18:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Or move her into your house ...............

You've always been so...remarkable....hmmm...

Where do you live?

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 4:27:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Or move her into your house ...............

Hmmmm

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 5:24:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AtUrCervix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Or move her into your house ...............

You've always been so...remarkable....hmmm...

Where do you live?

I was über smart when I bought my house. It's so small that there isn't room for anyone except me and all the animals I want

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 5:57:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: AtUrCervix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Or move her into your house ...............

You've always been so...remarkable....hmmm...

Where do you live?

I was über smart when I bought my house. It's so small that there isn't room for anyone except me and all the animals I want

Midwest/north.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 6:00:17 PM

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No, San Fran Bay Area.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 6:55:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

No, San Fran Bay Area.

Closer....dial it down.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/26/2017 7:02:34 PM

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My plan in a few years is to buy a loaded rv and spend vacations in all sorts of beautiful places, like Seattle. Maybe I'll get one big enough to stash your mom.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/27/2017 2:15:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

My plan in a few years is to buy a loaded rv and spend vacations in all sorts of beautiful places, like Seattle. Maybe I'll get one big enough to stash your mom.

:)

(That was very sweet :) ).

I sooo love my Mom...just did a bid today on a retirement center (Mom lives right on the lake...all one floor...great condo...paid for...as in...her front yard...18 feet away is....the water).

We've talked about her moving some day (me, trying to start the conversation)...her response is always..."Jon, I want to stay her as long as I can...at least 10 years...until I can't any longer" (she's 82...just 3 months from being 83)...and it hit me like a brick walking around this place...this would not a) be the lake and b) (it would not) be....her "home".

Then...I imagined her first day there...frightened...crying ("not my home")...and I just started bawling.

Tough thing huh?

To do the right thing....for her...but...then...at that moment it's absolutely...."THE" realization...."my time is running out...I'm not where I'm supposed to be/comfortable....my home".

Transition. To the max.

I don't know how to help her (when the time is right), to make that decision.

Do I stay there with her the first 2+ weeks...sleep on her new couch...wake up and hold her when she's crying?

How do you make that transition (for your Mom)? How many nights when I was frightened (at any age....even when I was an adult, going through one of the most horrifying debacles of my life....my divorce...where I was curled up for 15 days...couldn't go to work) did she hold me?

Figuratively and literally.

She's the most amazing woman who ever walked the Earth.

I hope I don't fuck this up when it comes.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/27/2017 5:56:29 PM

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Joined: 7/18/2012
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She might not need to move out of her home ever. Think about getting her in-home help if she needs it. You haven't said what kind of physical and mental shape she's in, but if she can't do everything for herself, varying degrees of in-home help would allow her to remain in her home. Maybe initially someone to help her grocery shop, clean house, bathe. Later on more round the clock supervision. It's really a matter of money, and in-home help isn't necessarily the most expensive route.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/27/2017 7:28:01 PM

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Definitely, in home help. And it's got to be cheaper for her to take a cab once a week to do stuff than keep a car. The aide could carry groceries for her, cleaning, do cooking when she doesn't feel up to it.

In fact, lots of places deliver groceries once a week.

My father stayed at home with an aide for years. Eventually, when he couldn't, we had the aide come in to visit daily to the assisted living facility in the beginning. He had some of his own furniture, familiar people, until he got to know the staff and didn't need as much help. Then, when he got ill, we again hired an aide to help him eat.

But you live close enough that you could visit several times a week. I was the closest and I'm two hours away. Plus in ten years you could not be well. So you need to plan for that eventuality also.

However, many of her friends will be moving to retirement residences in the next few years, if they haven't already. Take her to visit. That should serve to start this conversation.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Fuuuuck..... - 4/27/2017 10:26:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AtUrCervix
(You have not lived in my kitchen...or....my complete ineptitude....sue me...).

Here is the easiest way. Sooo idiot-proof, you can't screw it up. Hold a piece of bread on your left hand. And hold a piece of ham on your right hand. Alternately take a bite from each items on each hand!

You got your sandwich! :)

(in reply to AtUrCervix)

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