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If your mom or dad chose to transition into an opposite... - 4/27/2017 11:50:08 PM

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One of the more prominent reality shows, the Kardashian, obviously, basically have their 60 over yr old father, manly male, decide to change into a woman.

One of the issues is one of his step daughters closest to him, Khloe, has completely refuse to talk to him at all, after the change. She simply said, her blood dad died. Now her stepdad is dead too. She blames Caitlyn, the woman he has transit into from taking her dad away from her.

Most of his kids don't hang out with him anymore, like in the past, he wouldn't have to call them to have them around, they always want to spend time with him. After he became a woman, none of them would come over, unless he called and asked them over.

And basically he is bitching about how his children are treating him differently now and that he feels like he is the same person!

But seriously, how many of you, would be able to feel like, "you are still dealing with the same dad all your life who is now a woman" if that happens to you?

I imagine as a child of someone, it does feel like, the parent you knew had died and just abruptly disappeared. What's left behind would be this new person who is still pretending to be your parent! Kinda just is no longer the person you knew.

And with those kids specfiically, they already have a mom. What they felt they needed was a dad, because their dad died.

So to have their second dad turn into another mom is like, look, Caitlyn/Bruce needs to do what makes him happy, but he can't expect what makes him happy equals what will make his kids happy and he just gotta live with that!

Sometimes chasing your own happiness means sacrificing your love ones happiness. And is he happy in the end? Losing most of his children. For what? Just to be able to wear make up, have boobs and wear a dress? And have his children lose the father figure they needed in their lives? I hope all that is worth it for him.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/27/2017 11:54:09 PM >

RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 12:29:54 AM

stef

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Yup, you're still a fucking idiot.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 3:06:10 AM

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Do you have any idea how little of a shit most on here give about that gaggle of retards and skanks, Greta?

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 4:49:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Do you have any idea how little of a shit most on here give about that gaggle of retards and skanks, Greta?

We are not talking about them.

They are just people on TV who have this very situation as an example.

But I am just curious that if anybody had parents who transit much later in life. Would they still have the same relationship with their parent? Does anybody think they could?

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 4:51:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Yup, you're still a fucking idiot.

You know, the way I visualize you, is that you are somebody who likes to go into threads, and quip one liners, and then feel good about how "cool" your statement looks.

A little like a pratt teenager.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 5:42:37 AM

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There is no way that in my family, this would have happened in the dark. We would have grown up knowing that our parent felt like a fake and why.

The loss here was caused by the secrecy. You're only as sick as your secrets and my family doesn't keep secrets. And we would all be arguing it out in a therapist's office together.

Would we be building a new relationship with the transitioned person? Of course, it's apparent to anyone that expecting the old relationship to stay the same is not going to happen.

Oh, and my family has more sense than to try and deal with life altering drama in front of a tv camera.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 5:46:45 AM

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I cant and wont say it better than Des.
so DesFIP FTW

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 6:07:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There is no way that in my family, this would have happened in the dark.

Why not though? Parents usually are very good at hiding things from kids especially if they feel it's for the children's own good. And not wanting to affect their life in any way.

I mean this is a BDSM community and I won't be surprise if many parents are very good at hiding their BDSM lifestyle from kids too.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 8:01:45 AM

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Actually, really decent parents bring their kids up to be honest, and lead by example. My son is coming up 23, and knows all about my lifestyle. He has done since he was 15. Earlier than I would have liked, but his Dad told him lies that I needed to correct. In return it means that my son is very honest with me too.

I wouldn't have an issue with a transgender parent, simply because I don't have an issue with transgender people. Maybe my age also has something to do with that. I'm old enough to realise that there are bigger things to worry about, such as the actual real death and loss of a person.

Needles

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 8:12:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
My son is coming up 23, and knows all about my lifestyle. He has done since he was 15. Earlier than I would have liked, but his Dad told him lies that I needed to correct. In return it means that my son is very honest with me too.

That's amazing. So how was his reaction initially? Was it chill?

quote:

I'm old enough to realise that there are bigger things to worry about, such as the actual real death and loss of a person.

I think in some ways, I have no experience of having a close relationship with parents, or having parents who cared for me and I cared about back. So no real life experience, just imagination.

But I suppose, my only real life experience of loving someone who loved me back was more with xmarriage.

So if I loved a man who later became a transgender, yea I think the most hurtful thing is that he kept it from me for so long. But it wouldn't weird me out. If he wants to be a woman. Be a woman! Whatever! I'd still be there for him. And he will still be my best friend. Then again, that's because my relationship with my x-husband was more like BFFs or brothers and sisters, than a sexual relationship. We don't even have sex. So maybe it wouldn't bother me that much. But IF that was a male I enjoyed sexual relations with, might be a different story.

I don't know how I will feel about parents though. They just play a different figure in my life from let's say, a spouse.

Because, if a father becomes a mother. Technically, the death of the father already occured. And the additional new mother is a stranger.

I mean, do they still call him dad? In this specific example, he hates being called by his male name.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/28/2017 8:18:42 AM >

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 8:53:29 AM

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With my son, his dad and I were splitting up. His dad lied to him telling him I was the one having an affair with the guy who had started out as OUR playmate. I wasn't. Our son new about said playmate as a friend of ours only. I said I was still going to see him, but that it would be something more, just on a casual basis. That there was a lot more to, but that there were things I didn't really want to talk about with my 15 year old son right at that time, and things I didn't think were my place to tell him. Being the person I am I was still protecting his father, who most certainly had been having an affair. I told him though that when I thought he was old enough to understand it all I'd tell him everything. His dad then lied to him, and told him I'd been having an affair with my playmate all along, and this is why he'd done what he had.

My son wouldn't speak to me for two weeks. That's how long it took for me to get it out of him what his dad had said. I reminded him of what I'd said originally, asked him if he remembered me saying that, and he said yes. I explained that it was hard for me as his Mum, because I was trying to protect him in a really bad situation, and protect his relationship with his Dad. How much do you tell a 15yr old without it seeming like you're trying to manipulate their feelings. He's not a child, but he's not exactly a man either. I gave him the choice, I protect you like my child, and you accept that I edit things, or a treat you like an adult, and you accept that sometimes it's going to be too much information. Also though, if you accept being treated like an adult it works both way, you don't get to keep secrets and edit things either. I told him to think very carefully about what he wanted. He chose to be treated like an adult, so I told him everything. I asked him if he understood things, or if he wanted to ask questions, but he just said it was all fine.

For three years he wouldn't accept anything his Dad said. One day his Dad stopped him in the street and had a go at him. Told him that he was only ever listening to my side of the story, that he had things he could tell him. I said that maybe he ought to meet him in a public place and hear him out. He said he didn't need to. He knew that I'd told the truth, but that every time he opened his mouth it was bullshit. I was curious, after all, he'd been adamant about this for three years, how? Turned out that when I'd found out about everything and thrown his Dad out, our son had sat on the stairs and heard everything we'd said to each other

He said he hadn't understood a lot of it, didn't know what was going on, right until I'd told him, and I'd told him everything.

We are exceptionally close. We're friends, and we hang out a lot. It's not just him that hangs out with me, but his friends do too. Many of his friends call me Mum, and one in particular tells me 'Love you, bye' as he leaves.

I have a step-son too, and I've always had a very close relationship with him. I'm betting I know far more about his life than his own Dad.

Needles

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 9:31:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Yup, you're still a fucking idiot.

You know, the way I visualize you, is that you are somebody who likes to go into threads, and quip one liners, and then feel good about how "cool" your statement looks.

A little like a pratt teenager.

God, if only you were as succinct as Stef. You are seriously such a fucking idiot.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 10:20:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2
God, if only you were as succinct as Stef. You are seriously such a fucking idiot.

Words from her Groupie too. The "cool" kids! Parroting her! This is so high school girls.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 10:27:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
I gave him the choice, I protect you like my child, and you accept that I edit things, or a treat you like an adult, and you accept that sometimes it's going to be too much information. Also though, if you accept being treated like an adult it works both way, you don't get to keep secrets and edit things either. I told him to think very carefully about what he wanted. He chose to be treated like an adult, so I told him everything. I asked him if he understood things, or if he wanted to ask questions, but he just said it was all fine.

This is really a very good way to deal with it! Thanks for sharing!

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 1:49:57 PM

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Well, given that my father drank himself to death......I would have been thrilled to have him become her, and be sober.

Similarly with my mother. We haven't spoken to one another in years. Whatever guy she can find to believe her bullshit lies, and fuck with, has always been her priority.

So yeah, having them be decent human beings that cared and wanted to be a positive part of their offspring's lives, would have been delightful.......regardless of their gender.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 2:24:45 PM

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If my dad had went for SRS I would have had the biggest, ugliest bearded mom on earth.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/28/2017 4:39:40 PM

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How is lying to your own children ever for their own good? You explain things in a way that is age appropriate. And if you need help, again that's what therapists are for.

And as a 62 year old, I take umbrage at being referred to as in old age.

My father just passed only a few weeks shy of 90. I have relatives in their 80s who are still sharp and active. I am far from being in my dotage.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/29/2017 10:27:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

How is lying to your own children ever for their own good? You explain things in a way that is age appropriate. And if you need help, again that's what therapists are for.

And as a 62 year old, I take umbrage at being referred to as in old age.

My father just passed only a few weeks shy of 90. I have relatives in their 80s who are still sharp and active. I am far from being in my dotage.

I think plenty of parents tell "white lies" to their kids.

Ha, well, I guess in my country, anybody above 55, are treated as elderly folks and they get elderly benefits. They get alot of privileges once they reach that age. But it's of course up to you to define yourself.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/29/2017 1:37:46 PM

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Plenty of parents are abusive to their kids also. The fact that it's common doesn't make it right.

Beyond that I've seen studies showing that there's a possible causal genetic element to homosexuality. Families in which in every generation they are multiple homosexuals.

As such, I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't a genetic relationship to gender dysmorphia. And thus, the last thing
I would want is my kid not to talk to me about this so I could help them navigate the difficulties of growing up trans in a trans hating society.

No kid of mine will ever feel they have no where to turn and that it's better if they kill themselves. Since transgender children have a suicide rate ten times of cisgender, straight kids, of course I would talk to them openly.

If my choice is learning that I have a son named John instead of a daughter named Jane, I would gladly learn to call him John rather than go to the cemetery every week to put flowers on a tombstone carved Jane.

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RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an oppo... - 4/29/2017 2:09:25 PM

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I think you raise an intriguing question here, Greta. There are some special circumstances involved. I never watched the show but only one of the girls was Jenner's? Right? And then Jenner had been the epitome of American maleness, on the Wheaties cereal box as the all-American athlete. While the other father, the Kardashian had looked like OJ's puppy dog during the trial. Then there is the question of why did Bruce wait so long to transition, and of course we don't know the discourse that went on in the family.

Curious shit. I don't understand you guys grouching at Greta for raising the issues. Looks like Bruce waited so long and ended up losing his family. Bad choice, Bruce.

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