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RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 5:35:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Greta, it's easy to turn your argument on you and imply that it's the fault of women for why men only want fetish delivery systems. It's the fault of women because they can make us change but they wont. See how ridiculous that sounds? Well your side of the story is equally ridiculous.

Many of us woman do make the man change! And end up with men who don't treat us as fetish delivery system. So the fact that we have success in doing that and it's a reality that many dommes here are with men who don't treat them as fetish delivery system doesn't make anything I say ridiculous at all.

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 6:38:21 AM

TheMistressLucy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Greta, it's easy to turn your argument on you and imply that it's the fault of women for why men only want fetish delivery systems. It's the fault of women because they can make us change but they wont.

See how ridiculous that sounds? Well your side of the story is equally ridiculous.

You infantilise women as society always does. Women can never be the fault or blame for anything. If men are behaving badly, it's the fault of men. If women are behaving badly, it's still the fault of men.

So of all the injustices and inequalities in the world you are focused on males not getting enough sex or kinks on a fetish site?

Surely most submissive males on this site want the woman to take charge, or to be superior, or to abuse them, or to humiliate them, or degrade them. They WANT women to be aloof and above them. But you want dominant women to act meek and mild and give males everything they want at the expense of what the woman wants?

You want dominant women to be available on tap for all males, is that correct?

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 6:46:46 AM

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quote:

This is what I will never understand about blokes who see pro dommes or hookers, how can they feel turned on over someone who doesn't feel the same about you? A pro domme only wants to play with you for money, not because she really wants to play with you. That right there is an instant erection wrecker.

Anybody who pays for sex, does not get turn on by the pleasure of the person they are having sex with, thus they can receive pleasure for paying for sex, as they are more interested in their own pleasure and whether the other person enjoys it or not is irrelevant. It's as simple as that.

That's the whole point of paying for sex! Not everybody gets off on other people's pleasure.

Infact RM, I think you don't get off on your domme's pleasure at all. If only you can get off on your domme's pleasure, you would have zero issues finding loads of dommes who wants to enjoy you without charging you for it.

You only get off on your own pleasure, which is fine, nothing wrong with that. But you will find it difficult to find a domme who wants to be with a sub who doesn't get off on her pleasure for free.

You want a woman to get off on your pleasure for free.

Women also want a man to get off on her pleasure for free.

The only difference is, a woman can simply find other men willing to get off on her pleasure for free if you refuse to do it.

But the problem you have is finding a woman who cares about your pleasure. You basically want to find a woman who is the opposite of your character. And getting upset she does not exist.

The real double standard is you. You are criticizing women who are essentially mirror image of yourself, or female versions of yourself.

So all your complains about women, feels like you are simply complaining about yourself.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/29/2017 6:50:35 AM >

(in reply to TheMistressLucy)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 9:20:27 AM

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I don't think that pros are exactly like prostitutes, and even with prostitutes there are different 'levels'.

You can read this for a better perspective:
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/f7c6n/i_have_been_a_professional_dominatrix_for_ten/

She doesn't seem particularly damaged or traumatized, and it's not like there isn't enough demand for female dominants that she couldn't say 'no' to someone who really creeped her out without going bankrupt.
I'd imagine it's much the same for your average fit, young, professional prostitute.

In terms of prostitution-- why is a slut who charges money worse than a slut who doesn't?
Because it's illegal? Or because the guy's ego isn't stroked?

If it's genuinely exploitation that's a completely different story, but the idea that prostitutes/pros never enjoy the sex/domination doesn't seem accurate to me.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 9:46:40 AM

TheMistressLucy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker

I don't think that pros are exactly like prostitutes, and even with prostitutes there are different 'levels'.

You can read this for a better perspective:
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/f7c6n/i_have_been_a_professional_dominatrix_for_ten/

She doesn't seem particularly damaged or traumatized, and it's not like there isn't enough demand for female dominants that she couldn't say 'no' to someone who really creeped her out without going bankrupt.
I'd imagine it's much the same for your average fit, young, professional prostitute.

In terms of prostitution-- why is a slut who charges money worse than a slut who doesn't?
Because it's illegal? Or because the guy's ego isn't stroked?

If it's genuinely exploitation that's a completely different story, but the idea that prostitutes/pros never enjoy the sex/domination doesn't seem accurate to me.

I think you would have to enjoy being a pro domme to be good at it. A woman would have to go to the trouble of setting up a pro domme business, arranging a dungeon/premises, and buying all the "tools", I can't imagine that happening if they didn't enjoy it. If they thought it was a ticket to some easy money, it wouldn't be easy because they would have gone to that trouble.

Someone can charge money to be a piano teacher and still love their job, why can't a pro domme? A piano teacher wouldn't take a customer they didn't like, neither would a pro domme.

(in reply to heavyblinker)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 9:53:46 AM

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Because in most popular culture, prostitutes are always victims of drug addiction, human trafficking, or some other form of exploitation.
There's also the whole 'women don't understand themselves and need to be told what they really want' thing.

(in reply to TheMistressLucy)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 1:21:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Greta, it's easy to turn your argument on you and imply that it's the fault of women for why men only want fetish delivery systems. It's the fault of women because they can make us change but they wont. See how ridiculous that sounds? Well your side of the story is equally ridiculous.

Many of us woman do make the man change! And end up with men who don't treat us as fetish delivery system. So the fact that we have success in doing that and it's a reality that many dommes here are with men who don't treat them as fetish delivery system doesn't make anything I say ridiculous at all.

Wow really? Why aren't you telling this magic solution to all the women who whinge about 90 something percent (depending on the day and their mood) of men are evil fetish delivery system seekers? It will be a miracle once you teach the whole population this. You will be regarded a special icon that will get worshipped from now and in the future.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 1:33:29 PM

TheMistressLucy

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There is one big error in all of your theories...

If I were looking for female subs and slaves I wouldn't message them either.

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 1:38:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheMistressLucy

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Greta, it's easy to turn your argument on you and imply that it's the fault of women for why men only want fetish delivery systems. It's the fault of women because they can make us change but they wont.

See how ridiculous that sounds? Well your side of the story is equally ridiculous.

You infantilise women as society always does. Women can never be the fault or blame for anything. If men are behaving badly, it's the fault of men. If women are behaving badly, it's still the fault of men.

So of all the injustices and inequalities in the world you are focused on males not getting enough sex or kinks on a fetish site?

Surely most submissive males on this site want the woman to take charge, or to be superior, or to abuse them, or to humiliate them, or degrade them. They WANT women to be aloof and above them. But you want dominant women to act meek and mild and give males everything they want at the expense of what the woman wants?

You want dominant women to be available on tap for all males, is that correct?

So of all the injustices and inequalities in the world you are focused on that there should be more pro dommes on a fetish site?

Surely, BDSM is roleplay but to think it has anything to do with BDSM when it comes to courting and the usual deal breakers/ judgements the typical women vanilla or not imply to men is being silly. That said, when there is NO relationship or NSA involved, she shouldn't be considered a dominant/mistress to you to begin with. Therefore there should be no submission from the sub and no dominance from the domme when there is no deal to play to begin with.

To your question, no, I'm not asking for all dommes to be easy and play with any male that ask. This assumption gets thrown at men every time when they question women on these types of things. It's used as a shaming tactic in attempt to intimidate the man in discussion. Anyway, what I simply ask for is for people to realise no gender is above the other. Many of today's women in the western world think their worth as a woman is more than the worth of a man.

(in reply to TheMistressLucy)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 1:41:37 PM

TheMistressLucy

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With my subs there is no roleplay, they submit for real. I'm not interested in playing any pretend games.

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 1:55:26 PM

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Here right in your post that started the thread you were whining about men not treating you as a human. You even admitted in your previous post that you think men are beneath you. All too funny.

(in reply to TheMistressLucy)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 2:03:32 PM

TheMistressLucy

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There was no whining. I was wishing they would help themselves.

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 8:27:09 PM

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Handing over their hard earned money to get something that women get for free is somewhat a help to them? ROFL.

You don't really think much as it seems. Men are equals and we as human beings are worth just as much as women. Expecting men to pay for something that women get for free is placing men beneath women. It's implying that we will only manage to make ourselves the same worth as a woman if we hand over a few hundred dollars.

You're a messed up chauvinist bigot, that's for sure.

And yes you were whinging as for one you were crying about not being treated as a human being while not looking at your poor treatment against men. Secondly you are crying about men not being like you want them to be, which is a man that has no sexuality and no personality. Gotta larf.

(in reply to TheMistressLucy)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/29/2017 8:29:10 PM

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If men are selfish for having their desires and seeking them, does it mean you are selfish too for having your desires and seeking them? Or is it only considered "selfish" when someone has a dick instead of a vagina between their legs?

The hypocrisy never ends.

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/30/2017 12:13:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

If men are selfish for having their desires and seeking them, does it mean you are selfish too for having your desires and seeking them? Or is it only considered "selfish" when someone has a dick instead of a vagina between their legs?

The hypocrisy never ends.

In the case of the female domme and the male sub, they are both looking for someone who has desires that compliment their own. They are equal in this respect.

That there are not many dommes who wish to 'dominate' the male sub in the way he wishes (at least, not for free) is not the fault of the domme or the sub, it is simply reality.

That there are more male subs willing to serve the domme in the way she wishes (and pay to do so) is also not the fault of the domme or the sub, and is also simply reality.

You are not entitled to free fantasy fulfillment simply because reality doesn't agree with you. No one is required to fulfill your fantasies for free if they do not wish to.

If you go an extra step and you're not even willing to compromise and make sacrifices to get what you want, despite the fact that nobody wants to fulfill your fantasies for you, then you have to keep looking, and have to be willing to accept that you probably won't find anyone willing to do it. There is a great dishonesty involved with 'submitting' to someone while seeking to control every single aspect of the submission and refusing to allow the wishes or considerations of the other person into the equation.

So again:

You can't expect others to bend to your whims simply because you have them.
The other person must be willing to do so.
If they are not willing to do so for whatever reason, it is not anyone's fault, it is simply reality.

How many different ways can this be said?

Anyways, it is probably not a coincidence that so many dommes complain about the lack of decent slaves and so many 'slaves' complain about the lack of 'free' dommes.

< Message edited by heavyblinker -- 5/30/2017 12:18:00 AM >

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/30/2017 10:04:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen
If you already have someone and you are angry with unwanted emails, why don't you choose to hide your profile?

You do realize there's been an issue recently about mailing hidden profiles? Sometimes, even with people you've had exchanges with before. Never been big on anybody having to sacrifice the good emails that they want to receive, such as from friends and so worth, just because they don't want the other stuff.

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen
Another point, in Lucy's OP she whinges about men not treating her like a human being but seems all okay with pro dommes not treating men as human beings. A pro domme doesn't give a fuck about the men they deal with. If she can't treat him as an ATM machine, she doesn't want anything to do with him, not even simple friendship. She wants your wallet, not your heart.

I think this is something that a person has to look at reasonably. How many of the service providers that you use in your life are really your friends? I happen to like the gal who does my nails and get a real kick out of talking with the woman who does my hair. (The latter is a Walking Dead fan, too.) We're not hanging out on the weekends or keeping in touch between appointments. I'm a client. Not a friend. If I wasn't paying them, they wouldn't provide the services for free.

quote:

This is what I will never understand about blokes who see pro dommes or hookers, how can they feel turned on over someone who doesn't feel the same about you? A pro domme only wants to play with you for money, not because she really wants to play with you. That right there is an instant erection wrecker.

This part, I'm actually going to give you credit on. It's one of the very reasons I never went the pro route, myself. Even when the S/m thing isn't necessarily sexual, (to me, not all of it is) I enjoy it more when it's what I want to do and who I want to do it with. It might just be me but when I feel obligated to play, it's a huge buzz kill.

Still, you have to apply the same thinking to other situations. Some people aren't interested in fwb situations. Others love to play but only with people they know very well. Even further, some people have no interest in play at all unless there is a dynamic that includes emotional attachment. Maybe my thinking is outdated but I still see fewer casual players who are female, so that imbalance creates the market.

quote:

If one gender doesn't have to pay, neither should the other.

Well, that's the thing. You don't *have* to pay. Nobody does. That doesn't mean that other people are going to give you what you want, just because you want it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen
Surely, BDSM is roleplay but to think it has anything to do with BDSM when it comes to courting and the usual deal breakers/ judgements the typical women vanilla or not imply to men is being silly. That said, when there is NO relationship or NSA involved, she shouldn't be considered a dominant/mistress to you to begin with. Therefore there should be no submission from the sub and no dominance from the domme when there is no deal to play to begin with.

You only get partial credit here. I don't know what kind of BDSM you engage in, but it seems to me that when people get tied up (bondage) they really are bound and when I top people as a sadist, it hurts. I'm pretty sure some of the masochists on this site will tell you that the pain they experience is real. Don't confuse BDSM with D/s.

No, you shouldn't consider a person to be your Dominant just because they happen to be "A" Dominant. Same applies the other way around. There is no sub on this site that is "MY" sub just because they happen to be submissive. I am going to tell you from personal observation that there is a lot of "any Domme will do" mentality. That doesn't work when if you are dealing with someone who wants an actual relationship where the fun stuff is only a part of that.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/30/2017 10:38:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Tamaka, the point is that you don't get to pick and choose when it comes to equality. If you are against the wage gap, you should also be against men having to pay while women don't.

Women can't have their cake and eat it too.

But this is a kink site, you fool. These are the roles and categories we choose for ourselves. These are the games we play. These are the rules we understand. Equality? WTF? What role does equality have in the Kink World. You are mad. You have obviously taken your complaints against women in the Vanilla World and stupidly, childishly, ignorantly applied them to the World of Kink. For the most part Kinksters are not interested in equality in relationships. You are ridiculous, Nick. In this thread more so than ever because you are out of place. Equality in Kink? Gawd!!!!! What a Fool.

_____________________________

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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to respectmen)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/30/2017 10:40:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

I wish i could do it but i have no domme in me. Unless being a cunt sometimes counts as domme'ing.

It is a good start, tamarka.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/30/2017 11:07:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

I wish i could do it but i have no domme in me. Unless being a cunt sometimes counts as domme'ing.

It is a good start, tamarka.

Lol. Well i don't seem to get the appropriate subbie response from you so evidently it isn't. :)

(in reply to vincentML)

RE: I think there should be MORE pro dommes - 5/30/2017 11:18:44 AM

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If you're not actually a top, it's just general cuntiness rather than dominatrix toxaemia, I'm afraid.

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On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to tamaka)

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