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The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/28/2017 7:34:23 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
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Hey ladies,

You know that a lot of that sickening sweet cloying perfume you ladies drop shit tons of money for is actually made from flowers that are technically carnivorous?

Yeah, the smell that is very much like that high dollar perfume you buy is actually intended to lure bugs into the flower so they fall in and the plant digests them.

Which is why a lot of you wear so much of it that it gives people migraines.

Another thing, if you girls do not want people staring at your ass, stop wearing shorts with stuff written on them.

To the guy at Pinkie's liquor store

Now, I am sure that while there are a number of reasons against selling ammo at a liquor store, yelling at the cashier because of this fact is neither productive or necessary.

And it did get you thrown out and barred from the establishment.

To the idiot who got busted for fireworks inside the city limits:

Alright, so a neighbor called the cops for you setting off fireworks at 3AM.

First the paper and the news stations have been running PSA's detailing the city ordinance. There are billboard all over town detailing the city ordinance, their are signs at the fire works stands with the ordinance clearly posted.

Therefore, it was completely unwarranted for you to stand up in the city council meeting swearing at the city council members, threatening to sue, and all of this in front of your children and your clearly embarrassed wife.

A great example you set for your two younger daughters and you really should have listened to your oldest girl who kept telling you to calm down. I thought it interesting how she walked out before you were arrested.

I do hope she waits till tomorrow to bail you out of jail on the disorderly conduct charge.

And how was your day?

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/28/2017 8:45:51 PM

DesFIP

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No carnivorous flowers in Joy by Jean Paton.
10,000 jasmine flowers and 28 dozen roses, along with ylang-ylang, civet and musk. Per ounce.

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/28/2017 8:57:28 PM

jlf1961

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From: Somewhere Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

No carnivorous flowers in Joy by Jean Paton.
10,000 jasmine flowers and 28 dozen roses, along with ylang-ylang, civet and musk. Per ounce.

I did not say every one.

However, there are more than a few that are, some cost as much as a 100 year old bottle of single malt, which is a hell of a lot more practical in my opinion.

Now there is an idea for a perfume.

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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/29/2017 6:45:47 AM

DesFIP

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If you're talking 25 year old Laphroaig, then yes. For ten year old, Joy costs more.

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/29/2017 7:43:07 AM

WhoreMods

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

No carnivorous flowers in Joy by Jean Paton.
10,000 jasmine flowers and 28 dozen roses, along with ylang-ylang, civet and musk. Per ounce.

I did not say every one.

However, there are more than a few that are, some cost as much as a 100 year old bottle of single malt, which is a hell of a lot more practical in my opinion.

Now there is an idea for a perfume.

"Usquebaugh, from Chanel. If the man in your life digs women who smell like a distillery, it's the only scent there is."

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/29/2017 9:33:56 AM

WickedsDesire

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30 year olde Laphroaig is £2000 a bottle ;)

Now, I myself smell of man musk and cats...as it should be I think we would all agree.

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/29/2017 12:19:39 PM

FelineRanger

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TL;DR
Brief translation follows.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

As Clint Eastwood said in Gran Torino ...

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/29/2017 2:05:16 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineRanger

TL;DR
Brief translation follows.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

As Clint Eastwood said in Gran Torino ...

I am having a bit of a problem connecting that to me, since

1) I do not live inside the city limits, although I tend to avoid fireworks since they tend to trigger unwanted memories of places and events I wish the fuck I could forget.

2) When you enter a closed space and some woman is wearing so much perfume that half the people in the place are gagging, there may be a problem.

3) Both my properties have no trespassing signs posted, registered with county sheriff and clearly state the owner is armed.

So basically, I would not tell anyone to get off my lawn, it would be kiss the ground or meet god, their choice.

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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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RE: The "are you serious?" rant thread: - 6/29/2017 4:28:35 PM

ShaharThorne

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Damn assholes are already shooting off fireworks around me and Mom sees me pacing and trying NOT to pull out my hair or OD on my anti-psychotics. Its even worse during deer hunting season. When one punk decided to make a Youtube bomb, Alexis had to talk me down (sheriff almost ran the kid in).

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