Wayward5oul
Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
quote:
ORIGINAL: kiwisub22
quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
quote:
ORIGINAL: kiwisub22
where I and my dominant crafted our relationship - to include my obedience - even when he wasn't watching.
Exactly, you have crafted your relationship to include your obedience as an expectation.
Which means that if you fail to obey, you've violated the terms of your relationship.
The same way that if you promise to have a monogamous relationship, and you then fuck another person, you've failed to uphold your promises in the relationship.
However, do you not understand that there's other ways to set up relationships than yours?
If you agree to be poly, and you fuck somebody else within the terms of your poly relationship, you have not violated the terms of your relationship.
Just like if you don't swear obedience, and you then disobey, you've not violated the terms of your relationship.
quote:
ORIGINAL: kiwisub22
For that matter, how is that any integrity?
How does integrity come into play, if no promises are broken, no agreements violated, and the terms of the relationship are upheld?
Where to you get that I don't understand that there are other ways to set up a relationship? In fact, I rather carefully worded my post to show that what my dom and I did was for US - not the rest of the world. No-one I know had a relationship like ours - there may have been similar ones, but not just like ours, because , obviously, we were individuals and putting together our relationship agreements meant that we incorporated our own wants and needs. Ishtar, I think you are arguing the validity of your relationship with the wrong people. The only ones that understand it are the ones in it. Everyone else gets a view that is essentially skewed because they can't get a true view.
In MY view, the OP doesn't have a Master/slave relationship because he can't trust his "slave" to obey his orders. In his view, he has a disobedient slave that needs to obey. Very different ideas of the same wordage. Our idea of the definition of the word "slave" are obviously not the same. And probably won't ever get closer together.
The bolded finally made my brain go click. I commented on this thread before I read it and I have come back several times trying to figure out what was going on.
Whether you meant to or not, that bolded comment made me realize that it seems Ishtar, in her frenzy to convince us that her relationship is legit, made me wonder if she even believes it herself.
And I am not even saying this to be contrary or to doubt the authenticity of her relationship. Just that in my experience, when someone argues this much to prove their point, they doubt it themselves. In my experience, people who are sure of their convictions will state them once, maybe twice, then walk away secure in their own perceptions being correct.
Let me repeat that this is from my view on life, how *I* interpret it, and what I have been unable to put my finger on until reading kiwisub's reply.
I have to disagree on this.
I don't have a dog in this fight, as I have never been in any type of relationship that is described here, but two things strike me about this conversation.
First, and relevant to the above post, Ishtar often treats discussions on this manner,, whether it is something that applies to her own life or not. Once she invests in a topic, she routinely writes lengthy and numerous posts explaining her thought process and tries to address each poster and their points. I don't see these responses as trying to convince herself of her authenticity. I see it as par for the course in terms of her usual posting style.
Secondly, I see a lot of "one twue wayism" regarding what a slave is, and no recognition that throughout history, many slaves were designated as such simply because they were property, which is what Ishtar has referred to herself as. As property, they were expected to behave in certain manners and when they didn't, they were punished,. But they weren't any less a slave. Slavery existed before bdsm practitioners started trying to define wiitwd.
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RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 
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