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Spanking as a Reward - 9/1/2017 11:43:23 PM

SanDieoSub

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Spanking is often intuitively seen as a punishment, but obviously us subs are enticed by the activity and it makes more sense as reward. Also, there seems to be a bit of humiliation involved in taking so much pleasure in what is supposed to be a punishment.

I realize the Domme's satisfaction always comes first. But it seems to me that spanking would make a nice reward for good servitude. "Lay over my knee for your reward spanking."

Just curious have Domme's practiced this? How has it worked out?

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 9/2/2017 6:51:21 AM

peppermint

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It's common. It's so very common there's a term to describe fun punishment. It's called funishment.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 9/2/2017 7:22:22 AM

DesFIP

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Many of us don't do punishments. Nor do we feel it's an inherently humiliating activity to have the genital nerves stimulated in this way.
Have you tried open communication, just asking to be spanked or them asking if you're in the mood for a spanking?

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 9/30/2017 4:15:15 PM

kandykink

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Most subs like some form of humiliation, discipline, etc., and if it's only saved for bad behavior you're probably going to be dealing with a lot of it. The key with a sub is to really understand what things most arouse them mentally and then find a way to use those things against them to develop the deepest level of devotion from them as possible. That doesn't mean just doing it their way but you certainly have to mix those things in somewhere, in my opinion, to get the best results. I always try to find out exactly what it is that turns a sub on and where those ideas were developed (often in childhood) and then plan our interaction accordingly.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 9/30/2017 5:04:56 PM

DesFIP

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Some subs like humiliation. But lots of us have zero interest in it. We're not a hive mind.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 10/8/2017 6:28:37 AM

aconite2b

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SanDieoSub, you're viewing spanking as a physical act. There's more to it than just the physical aspect.

When I spank to punish, I spank differently than a fun spanking:

1. I scold.
2. I omit the warm-up.
3. I add corner time.
4. I forgive at the end.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 10/8/2017 6:35:04 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kandykink
Most subs like some form of humiliation, discipline,

I love to be spanked simply because it makes me cum. Never thought of it as humiliating or discipline. If the "dom" wants to imagine it's "humiliation" or "discipline", that's just their own context in their heads. And also, they cannot control my head space. They can frame it any way they want. But I control my own head space, so I can frame it in a way, where I will cum from it no matter what.

Usually, I am like looking forward to it and enjoying it and cumming hard from it. And I hardly care how they frame it.

That's why I usually go for doms who loves to spank, because they enjoy it and they simply do it for their own pleasure.

I try to avoid those doms who only need to do it as a discipline so they don't feel guilty about it. Then I can wait forever to get spanked. As I am not someone who likes to break rules that my dominant set. I usually try to abide by them, as they would be all pre-negotiated and I have agreed to abide by them.

As for spanking as a "reward". I don't like it enough to want that as "The reward" so it's seriously not a motivating reward at all. I would like literally not even bother aiming to receive that reward. The best reward for me, is a warm hug and a cuddle.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 10/8/2017 1:05:42 PM

DesFIP

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I’m not a trained seal. I don’t do tricks for fish.
Punishment and rewards are the least effective behavior modification techniques. Positive reinforcement followed by negative reinforcement are the most.

Play isn’t something that motivates me. It’s fun for both of us. But I don’t need to be led or guided. I came into this relationship an adult and still am.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 10/8/2017 2:11:03 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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quote:

I realize the Domme's satisfaction always comes first.

Pffft!

As for a spanking as a reward, well it isn't around here, it's just one of the many fun things we do, it is neither punishment or a reward.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 10/8/2017 2:14:25 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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quote:

then find a way to use those things against them

Yeah, that's bullshit. We are a team, we don't use things against each other, we work together.

*smh*

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 10/8/2017 2:17:18 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: kandykink
Most subs like some form of humiliation, discipline,

I love to be spanked simply because it makes me cum. Never thought of it as humiliating or discipline. If the "dom" wants to imagine it's "humiliation" or "discipline", that's just their own context in their heads. And also, they cannot control my head space. They can frame it any way they want. But I control my own head space, so I can frame it in a way, where I will cum from it no matter what.

Usually, I am like looking forward to it and enjoying it and cumming hard from it. And I hardly care how they frame it.

That's why I usually go for doms who loves to spank, because they enjoy it and they simply do it for their own pleasure.

I try to avoid those doms who only need to do it as a discipline so they don't feel guilty about it. Then I can wait forever to get spanked. As I am not someone who likes to break rules that my dominant set. I usually try to abide by them, as they would be all pre-negotiated and I have agreed to abide by them.

As for spanking as a "reward". I don't like it enough to want that as "The reward" so it's seriously not a motivating reward at all. I would like literally not even bother aiming to receive that reward. The best reward for me, is a warm hug and a cuddle.

Hang onto your hat babe, guess what? I agree with pretty much all of that.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 12/14/2022 10:44:22 AM

Byrdie

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Joined: 7/14/2008
From: Seattle, WA
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There are different ways of spanking someone, and various implements for it. While there might be some folks who love any sort of spanking with any sort of implement, I've noticed that many folks have a preference (bare-handed, with a hair brush, etc.) and will sometimes balk at other items (paddles or leather straps, for instance).

Though during conversations I've read online, I've noticed that most folks who contributed tend to hate instructions / punishments that involve being ignored:

* corner time
* writing lines
* kneeling on rice
* "get OUT of my SIGHT until I SUMMON you!"

... and would prefer a spanking because at least they're having attention paid to them.

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 12/7/2023 12:53:35 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Many of us don't do punishments. Nor do we feel it's an inherently humiliating activity to have the genital nerves stimulated in this way.
Have you tried open communication, just asking to be spanked or them asking if you're in the mood for a spanking?

I don't do "punishments." I see these things as consequences and a (Reasonably healthy) form of behavioral modifiction.

I'll further note that experience has shown that these tend to happen much more often when the relationship is new and we're both getting a feel for each other. As such, I place most of that on her, because basically I hav only three rules for the meat, serve, please, and obey
If consequences are , she's fropped the bll on one or more of thoseBut If Wow. Just wow. still getting lots of consequences 6 month, a year in, the fault is likely mne,that I've failed to be fonsistent or communicate my properly.
What I don't do, is mete out consequences as an excuse to just hurt the wench.

Fuck. Im a sadist. She's my peoperty to do with as I so desire. That's the root of CnC AFAIC.for this guy
It's that simple. I don't have to complicate shit, play those sort of relarionship destroyng mind games with the slit. In fact, I usaually take geat care to make sure she knows thast this is exacly the case. Fuck, I often point blank gloat about it to her face while influcting the agony.
I want her tears and suffering. Not her soul (I should already own that by this point anyhow. But really, the market value for a used md 30's piece of fuck meat has never been lower in this
lfetime).. And I'm careful to make sure that she know tht she didn't do anything to cause thevactions am

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RE: Spanking as a Reward - 12/7/2023 3:22:53 PM

JVoV

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What in the christianmingle fuck?

I think it should be obvious whether the pain inflicted is punishment, foreplay, or just something that needs to happen. Punishments are generally part of the training process, as the D and s get to know each other, and usually aren't a necessary part of something long-term. Unless the sub is a brat, acting out and misbehaving in order to be punished, but even then there should be acceptable parameters, defined by the people actually in the relationship.

Communication is important in any relationship, but it's not always verbal. Like when teeth touch my dick, it communicates that the bitch wants to be smacked upside the head.

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