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Bait and switch - 9/19/2017 4:07:00 PM

littleone35

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I was thinking ( always a dangerous thing). Let's just say you met this great Dom/me on line they did not have a photo. Before you met you had great rapport. You liked the same things, wanted the same things from a relatonship. No pic so they described themselves to you and you liked what you heard so you set up a meet.

You meet and they are nothing like they described, but, you still have that great chemistry.

Now the question, could you overlook the fact thay they lied about their apperance, or would it be a deal breaker?

As for me i think i coud overlook it tf they were trustorthy in evey other other way.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/19/2017 10:40:21 PM

MsLadySue

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It would depend, if I found them ugly as sin and unable to foresee feeling an attraction to them, I would probably end it right there.
(I need to feel some chemistry with the person.) I would sit and chat for a bit to be polite, but nothing would happen passed the first meeting.

If I still felt comfortable with them, I would ask why they'd lied and listen to what they had to say. If the answer seems plausible, I would
continue communicating, in the hope they hadn't lied about about anything else. Should I detect a second lie, then it's game over.

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/19/2017 10:56:13 PM

HaveRopeWillBind

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Back in the time before broadband when the only way to get online was via dial-up modem, and before most people had some form of digital camera, it wasn't unusual for people to have no photos of themselves online. I had this scenario happen twice in real life. Both times the dishonesty was too much of a red flag. D/s requires a lot of trust. It's hard to have a sufficient level of trust when the relationship starts with a lie.
It wasn't that either was unattractive, just that they had been dishonest about themselves.

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/20/2017 10:58:50 AM

ExiledTyrant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I was thinking ( always a dangerous thing). Let's just say you met this great Dom/me on line they did not have a photo. Before you met you had great rapport. You liked the same things, wanted the same things from a relatonship. No pic so they described themselves to you and you liked what you heard so you set up a meet.

You meet and they are nothing like they described, but, you still have that great chemistry.

Now the question, could you overlook the fact thay they lied about their apperance, or would it be a deal breaker?

As for me i think i coud overlook it tf they were trustorthy in evey other other way.

Matt's littleone

Nothing like what they described or nothing like you visualized?

I mean, my self perception is quite warped, thanks mom, but my self esteem is healthy, my confidence is always high and I have a deplorable lack of caring about wot others think of me. Those things do not negate the fact that I see Quasimodo in reflective surfaces, Quasimodo just doesn't impact or damage me.

Some peoples self perception goes the other way... John Merrik sees Tom Sellick in his reflection. Self perception is definitely a spectrum event and not an either or. I've known women with the cutest feet you ever saw try and hide them because they saw Shaqs feet on their tiny ankles... Of course I've seen women with Shaqs feet and they thought they were the cutest things ever.

So, was it an askew self perception or did the image in your head not match the image they described. Cuz, if it were me, the person I described would've been so flawed that you wouldn't have shown up for a meet.

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/20/2017 12:43:31 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I was thinking ( always a dangerous thing). Let's just say you met this great Dom/me on line they did not have a photo. Before you met you had great rapport. You liked the same things, wanted the same things from a relatonship. No pic so they described themselves to you and you liked what you heard so you set up a meet.

You meet and they are nothing like they described, but, you still have that great chemistry.

Now the question, could you overlook the fact thay they lied about their apperance, or would it be a deal breaker?

As for me i think i coud overlook it tf they were trustorthy in evey other other way.

Matt's littleone

In my opinion, if they would lie about something as inconsequential as looks, then they automatically are untrustworthy. This is at the very beginning when people are at their very best behavior, what will they do later on, when they get to the shit that really matters?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Nothing like what they described or nothing like you visualized?

I had one guy tell me that he was "tall, dark and handsome" - the only part he got right was "dark" - he was 5'5", not attractive and he had lied about his ethnicity.

I had one guy tell me he had brown hair and went to the gym 4 days a week. He was completely bald and 50lbs over weight.

I had one tell me he was under 40, when in reality he was over 50 with a face lift (and he thought it didn't show)

The reality is that if they had been honest, I probably would have met them anyway....but they lied right from the start.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/20/2017 1:34:57 PM >

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/20/2017 3:41:48 PM

DesFIP

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Deal breaker. I'd always be wondering what else they were lying about.

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/21/2017 9:28:56 AM

DocStrange

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It is not a deal breaker for me. Though I would have to ask why they were deceptive about their looks. How they answered would determine if I could trust them.

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/21/2017 8:40:08 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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No idea, since it can't happen to me.

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RE: Bait and switch - 9/24/2017 3:33:58 AM

MaleSupremacyGB

Posts: 1
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I was thinking ( always a dangerous thing). Let's just say you met this great Dom/me on line they did not have a photo. Before you met you had great rapport. You liked the same things, wanted the same things from a relatonship. No pic so they described themselves to you and you liked what you heard so you set up a meet.

You meet and they are nothing like they described, but, you still have that great chemistry.

Now the question, could you overlook the fact thay they lied about their apperance, or would it be a deal breaker?

As for me i think i coud overlook it tf they were trustorthy in evey other other way.

Matt's littleone

My suggestion to u is run as far as u can from pig like that !! If she lied once she will again !

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RE: Bait and switch - 1/9/2018 8:54:39 PM

FrostedFlake

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If you will lie knowing you are 100% chance going to be caught the second the other fellow claps eyes on you, what wouldn't you lie about? The time? The weather? Relevant health information?

Moreover, if you want a partner you can lie to, why wouldn't you make sure he/she definitely knows you casually and transparently lie as soon as first locking eyes. After this the other person will either say hello or goodbye. That separates the wheat from the chaff pretty efficiently. Don't need to waste time lying to people who will gripe about it.

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RE: Bait and switch - 1/9/2018 8:58:13 PM

DesFIP

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Cognitive dissonance. People lie to themselves. And for me, that by itself is a red flag.

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RE: Bait and switch - 1/10/2018 12:02:35 PM

Spiritedsub2

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Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

If you will lie knowing you are 100% chance going to be caught the second the other fellow claps eyes on you, what wouldn't you lie about? The time? The weather? Relevant health information?

Moreover, if you want a partner you can lie to, why wouldn't you make sure he/she definitely knows you casually and transparently lie as soon as first locking eyes. After this the other person will either say hello or goodbye. That separates the wheat from the chaff pretty efficiently. Don't need to waste time lying to people who will gripe about it.

This made me laugh! An unusual take on lying to online contacts

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RE: Bait and switch - 1/11/2018 6:59:21 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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Chemistry is the trump suit

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RE: Bait and switch - 1/12/2018 11:03:34 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I was thinking ( always a dangerous thing). Let's just say you met this great Dom/me on line they did not have a photo. Before you met you had great rapport. You liked the same things, wanted the same things from a relatonship. No pic so they described themselves to you and you liked what you heard so you set up a meet.

You meet and they are nothing like they described, but, you still have that great chemistry.

Now the question, could you overlook the fact thay they lied about their apperance, or would it be a deal breaker?

As for me i think i coud overlook it tf they were trustorthy in evey other other way.

Matt's littleone

Pretty much everyone has a cellphone, which means everyone can take a photo of themselves and email it to you in 10 seconds. So it's never a case that they don't have a photo; it's that they won't send it.

if someone lied about their appearance, it would likely end things pretty quickly for two reasons. First, they are probably lying to hide some element of themselves that is not physically attractive, so the encounter already starts with an air of disappointment. Second, if they are lying about someone that you can obviously see is a lie immediately upon meeting, what else are they lying about?

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