Greta75
Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
That doesn't make MM and abusive person, that he should be considered a red flag, or anything else. You not understanding what he was really saying doesn't make him any of those things. Personally, I think it's a bit crappy on your part to be calling him those things when you don't have any clue about how he conducts his personal relationships in his life.
Personally, it's crystal clear to me what he is saying. I don't know how he conducts his personal relationships, it may be he is aware enough to not do what he said. Possibly some people are still aware of what is legal and illegal in their respective countries and still abide by the law not wanting to get in trouble, despite their personal opinion towards it.
But I don't think he is right to say that, "Abuse doesn't happen in BDSM." Or meaning to say, "If it's BDSM, it can't be abuse!"
The whole context was like, a woman is explaining how abuse did occur from a consensual bdsm relationship. And he is denying that it happens. Which to me, the men who practice real abuse in BDSM usually brush it off like, "BDSM is not abuse! If you say it is, I won't discuss it anymore!"
And specifically him and with the Gorean lifestyle. I don't feel like requiring consent was taught in the Gorean books at all as part of that lifestyle. Except, they are aware they need to, because it's the law of the country they live in.
Someone who likes the practice of Consent in BDSM, to me, will never react like him. So that is my opinion. IF it's up to him. I am of the belief that he does not like mutually consensual dynamics at all.
And I have explained through how I reached my conclusions from his own words. And he would be a red flag type of person to me for me, if I meet another man who reacts like him to the idea of abuse in BDSM, it would be another red flag to me too, but women drawn into Gorean lifestyle may be looking for something that feels as close to non-consensual as possible, but to me, that's them actively seeking and wanting that lifestyle with consent anyway. So he may not be a red flag to them. But men like him are red flags to me, as I strongly believe that mutual consensuality is the backbone of everything relates to sex and BDSM.
So if someone is criticizing the non-consensual abuse of Muslim women, and he thinks it's funny to say that, all bdsm people beat their women too. That just shows the kind of person he is with abuse.
< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/16/2017 6:54:58 PM >
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RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle - 
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