LTE
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Joined: 1/17/2017
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83
quote:
ORIGINAL: LTE
Maybe true. But they are not out there cleanly segregated on CM. Just because they say they are submissive rather than slave and vice versa means nothing at all.
At the end of the day most are looking for you to lead them to another place, one they are looking for but cannot find on their own.
So far, I've found if they like cages or "hard use" they respond better to harsher language, and dislike niceness.
Not most. You want something to work with "most" while at the same time knowing each female is a little different. Most do not on the first message. Unless they are faking or very rough themselves. They also might be a guy faking it. Or you hit the jackpot early on.
Get the pretty ones who enjoy these things but don't say so in words on the first or second cmail. They will signal those desires and limits without words and don't trust what they put in their profiles. Face to face is where the communication really takes place and there are a lot of ways to handle that. Let me share this unique experience, about the third girl I met her on CM, she was an ex-Dungeon Monitor for a Private Club on the east coast. She went by the book, we had dinner and then she actually wrote a list of her desires and limits, both soft and hard. Most were hard limits. That was an experience not repeated again but I was glad to have it.
In a typical face to face, after lunch, after you picked her up from work, she works at the local McClures, for a first face to face luncheon and you notice she is wearing a short dress, black with a full length silver zipper and she clearly spent a lot of time on making herself look great. You suggest that maybe she and you could go to the local city park and stroll and talk. She says yes and you know that she knows damn well what might happen, and after you walk to a secluded spot you stop and kiss her after putting you hand in her hair and, well, I discussed this earlier, and then you loop your finger round the silver ring attached to her zipper at the top of her dress and slide it down gently but without hesitation to right above her navel exposing her left breast in a think semi see-through bra.
Her response is "stop, please don't", not "no" and she looks around to see if anyone is watching, and then asks you to be careful of her new "tats" and sure enough when you pull her bra strap down there is a new piercing and one must be careful with those. I am careful with them, for the most part, and she is clearly enjoying this. I then zip her up and unzip myself and grab the handle again and she begs me to stop. I tell her I'm in charge now and continue and she does willingly sink down to her knees. After this I decided to fuck her and she signaled a firm no. We continued in a BDSM relationship for months and months and this was before I even had my flogger, stuck with cane and candle and leather strap and condoms. Until I found out she was married.
Sigh. Apparently I have some signals to learn myself.
So, "stop, I cannot do that" means exactly that if given in a level voice. "No! Not here, please", in a begging tone means this is something you should continue with unless she stops begging and says "No". This is something you must be careful with since you and she have not gotten to the stage where "safe words" are used although I have at times let the female know what the safe word is very early in the contact. On first face to face it may spook her or even scare her into breaking her ever warming mood toward you so that is a gamble but one that paid off for me all the time.
I think you are started down the right path. Don't worry about rejection. Cherish your conquests and be worthy of them. They are indeed beautiful and treat them "nice" but not in a POF way.
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