In honor of Veterens Day.

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In honor of Veterens Day. - 11/11/2017 10:41:32 AM

jlf1961

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From: Somewhere Texas
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Universal truths that only vets can truly appreciate:

1) If you are issued tropical uniforms in January prior to deployment, it is correct assumption you will land at Elmendorf Air Force Base in Alaska, for a 'short' lay over.

2) A short lay over is never short.

3) The speed at which your good day will end is directly proportionate to the mood of the first Sargent.

4) The battalion commander will pull a surprise 0530 barracks inspection the morning AFTER your unit has spent 5 days on field maneuvers and returned to the barracks after a 15 mile forced march and got back to the barracks at 0330.

5) If the biscuits are actually soft and edible, they were not made in an Army mess hall.

6) SNAFU, SNARFU and FUBAR all refer to every day operations, and the chaos that goes with it, if none apply, something is very bad is going to happen, the universe does not abide a good day in the military.

7) Arty will always drop rounds short, arty is both your friend and nightmare.

8) The air force will always deliver air drops on time, however, it is in their nature to ensure that at least half the drop lands long and ends up IN THE FUCKING TREES.

9) Forget the image of golden stairs leading to heaven, the stair way to heaven is that wonderful sight of a stacked flight of inbound choppers who are there to take you home.

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RE: In honor of Veterens Day. - 11/11/2017 9:31:07 PM

LadyPact

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I know this day is hard for many people, so I want to try to say something at least mildly amusing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

Universal truths that only vets can truly appreciate:

1) If you are issued tropical uniforms in January prior to deployment, it is correct assumption you will land at Elmendorf Air Force Base in Alaska, for a 'short' lay over.

Most people would be amazed at just how many people are in tropical/desert uniforms in Alaska. It was very apparent when visiting Wainright. I will say they had a pretty high deployment rate from there. Leave it to Uncle Sam to take a person from one of the coldest duty stations and send them to the desert.

quote:

2) A short lay over is never short.

True. I wonder if Uncle Sam lives in really long minute world, too. Hurry up and wait until dang it, we're doing it right now, so get yourself in gear.

quote:

3) The speed at which your good day will end is directly proportionate to the mood of the first Sargent.

MP adds this part "or the level of stupidity of someone you are responsible for under you."

My all time favorite of this was the soldier who got bored on guard duty, so he made a youtube video about how easy it was to sneak onto Camp Roberts. I've honestly never understood this level of stupid. At some point or another, somebody must have explained the purpose of guard duty. I guess the guy didn't connect the dots.

Yet, it gets funnier. One, the guy really is still in the military. He's an NCO now. Two, a part of his disciplinary sanctions for making the holy grail of dumb during guard duty was to give the guy more guard duty.

quote:

4) The battalion commander will pull a surprise 0530 barracks inspection the morning AFTER your unit has spent 5 days on field maneuvers and returned to the barracks after a 15 mile forced march and got back to the barracks at 0330.

LOL. I've heard many stories about this kind of thing.

quote:

5) If the biscuits are actually soft and edible, they were not made in an Army mess hall.

It's my understanding that the Army no longer trains cooks. A lot of it's contracted out now. The people who have to eat the food are way better off.

quote:

6) SNAFU, SNARFU and FUBAR all refer to every day operations, and the chaos that goes with it, if none apply, something is very bad is going to happen, the universe does not abide a good day in the military.

My personal favorite is FUBAR. The other are the many examples of how the term "military intelligence" is probably the greatest ox y-moron that we will ever have. I can't tell you how many times MP has come home, told me the latest dumb thing that has come along, and any reasonable person doesn't understand how dumb thing X makes sense.

quote:

7) Arty will always drop rounds short, arty is both your friend and nightmare.

You should know that MP really did laugh at this because he knows exactly what you mean.

quote:

8) The air force will always deliver air drops on time, however, it is in their nature to ensure that at least half the drop lands long and ends up IN THE FUCKING TREES.

This would worry me. If they are that bad at getting an air drop where it's supposed to go, I'm not all that sure I'd be confident about air support.

quote:

9) Forget the image of golden stairs leading to heaven, the stair way to heaven is that wonderful sight of a stacked flight of inbound choppers who are there to take you home.

Can't say I blame you for that one.

Oddly enough, one of the most common misconceptions that people have about me is they think I must have, at one time, been an active duty military member. It's incorrect. My father served in Korea, my male off-spring did a contract, and MP's a career man. I doubt I could have done any of those things.

To those who have and served honorably, thank you.

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RE: In honor of Veterens Day. - 11/11/2017 10:42:54 PM

DaddySatyr

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I would have just posted "Murphy's Law of Combat Operations"

I won't print the whole list. That would be time consuming, but the first three always stick out for me and I believe them to be universal truths:

1) Friendly fire – isn’t.
2) Recoilless rifles – aren’t.
3) Suppressive fires – won’t.

Michael

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RE: In honor of Veterens Day. - 11/12/2017 7:33:11 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I would have just posted "Murphy's Law of Combat Operations"

I won't print the whole list. That would be time consuming, but the first three always stick out for me and I believe them to be universal truths:

1) Friendly fire – isn’t.
2) Recoilless rifles – aren’t.
3) Suppressive fires – won’t.

Michael

I just took the list from things I remembered.

I never messed with recoiless rifles, as for friendly fire, I figured the arty thing covered it, and suppressive fire always seems to piss off the other guy more.

There is one story the battalion sgt major told us one day about when he was a fresh pfc serving during the Korean war.

A bit of back ground:
Korean women would routinely bury these big pots of Kimchi, so the mixture of cabbage and stuff would ferment.
Evidently, sometimes these big pots would explode because the pressure from the fermentation gases got to high....

Anyway, according to our illustrious sgt major (and we all know that sgt majors are sent from god and would not tell a story that was not true,) his platoon was on patrol led by a very green 2nd Lt.

It seems that a few of these buried Kimchi pots started to explode, and the butterbar thought they were taking mortar fire, and that there had to be a spotter in a grove of trees, so he got on the radio and called in arty.

So arty pounded this grove of trees, while the platoon hunkered down and waited.

After about 10 minutes, another kimchi pot exploded, and it happened to be right next to where the butter bar was crouched and talking on the radio, and when said pot exploded, he (and his radio operator) got covered with the contents.

Now, according to the Sgt. Major, the platoon sargent kept insisting that they were not taking fire and the butter bar refused to listen.

Well the butterbar told arty to cease fire.

3 hours later when the patrol returned the Lt was smelling pretty ripe, and from that day forward, he was referred to as the kimchi kid.

He also learned never to argue with his sargents.

Moral of the story, just because something goes boom, it does not mean it is something to be concerned with, and if the sargent says not to worry, you listen, and officers are not always right, but to stay out of trouble, you let them think they are.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

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