I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (Full Version)

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Greta75 -> I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 4:59:57 AM)

So if a man employed a woman. He is her boss. But he constantly text her everyday and wining and dining her. And basically, you know the type of mundane text? Like what he is eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Like if he just took his blood pressure. And basically constantly sharing her mundane shit about his day. And also when shit happens in his day, he text her about it.

He also says things like, it's a privilege to have dinner with her and he will always pay for her and she is beautiful. And basically probing alot of her personal stuffs and being her listening ear.

Is there any possibility that this is a platonic boss to staff caring and not trying to get into her pants? Is this caucasian culture?

The situation is, she is not the one engaging him. He is the one always engaging her and asking her out. And I think the employee is not interested in anything further at the moment but if this carries on, she could be moved.

Men especially opinions please!




CruelDom75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 5:53:47 AM)

He wants to get in her pants. And the situation you describe is basicly sexual harassment.



Greta75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 6:46:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDom75

He wants to get in her pants. And the situation you describe is basicly sexual harassment.


Is it officially sexual harassment when no sex is mentioned? He doesn't touch her, he takes her out for dinner which she agrees. In terms of physical behaviour, he is completely hands off. And he does not mention anything sexual at all or make any lewd or sexual requests? He shows concern for her sick mother by buying medicine that her mother needs for her.

(By the way, he only told her she is beautiful because she complain to him that she is putting on weight and need to lose weight.)



WhoreMods -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 9:09:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDom75

He wants to get in her pants. And the situation you describe is basicly sexual harassment.


Is it officially sexual harassment when no sex is mentioned? He doesn't touch her, he takes her out for dinner which she agrees. In terms of physical behaviour, he is completely hands off. And he does not mention anything sexual at all or make any lewd or sexual requests? He shows concern for her sick mother by buying medicine that her mother needs for her.

(By the way, he only told her she is beautiful because she complain to him that she is putting on weight and need to lose weight.)

Stealth sexual harassment, Greta.
Hard as it may be to credit in the light of some recent news stories, there are guys who know precisely how far they can go without being called up over it. It's called slowly wearing down somebody's resistance in this sort of situation.
Either that or he's doing all this and not expecting anything in return, eventually, but that's probably even less likely than this being the first act of one of those "bound and tortured" horror films, before anybody's abducted and things start getting cut off...



cloverodella -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 9:22:11 AM)

Yes, all that you mentioned, when added together, is sexual harassment. It creates a hostile work environment. All these little things that add up to a bigger picture of harassment are microagressions. Does he treat all the employees this way, texting everybody? Does he treat the men this way, too? Agreeing to dinner with him sounds coerced, regardless of who pays. Paying for her mother's medicine does not sound like a selfless, unconditional act -- it's right out of the "Nice Guy" playbook.

It is not caucasian culture in the sense that it's outwardly unacceptable here in the US, but given all the politicians, school teachers, and Harvey Wienstein/Kevin Spacey/Louis C.K./etc.'s popping up everywhere, I think perhaps it is. (btw: i have zero intention debating any of the people who i know will attack this statement)



Greta75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 9:40:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods
Stealth sexual harassment, Greta.
Hard as it may be to credit in the light of some recent news stories, there are guys who know precisely how far they can go without being called up over it. It's called slowly wearing down somebody's resistance in this sort of situation.
Either that or he's doing all this and not expecting anything in return, eventually, but that's probably even less likely than this being the first act of one of those "bound and tortured" horror films, before anybody's abducted and things start getting cut off...

Okay I am sure she will be safe. And in terms of his kindness to help out people, he does that to male friends as well. In terms of kindness and help he dish out, it's not gender specific. I've known him for years, he is generally a very kind person and would help out people in need, because he believes in building good karma and helping others gives him good luck. But I just roll my eyes at him claiming everything he is doing to this new female employee is platonic.

But ya he doesn't text male employees for sure.

But does he expect anything in return? Maybe but would he outwardly say or show it obviously? I doubt it. He just denies he is interested in her sexually but I am like, if I was his employee, I am so gonna think his actions are like, he wants to bed me. And he disagrees.

But I think he is also aware he got more leeway in Asia. I didn't know this could be considered sexual harassment in the west and it is that serious. The fact that I don't even feel his actions are harassment. But I just pondered at his motives.

Because to me, sexual harassment means, you proposition her for sex or you say crude things to her. Mention she got great boobs or something bad like that.



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 10:33:22 AM)

quote:

Is there any possibility that this is a platonic boss to staff caring and not trying to get into her pants?

Yes, but it is an infinitesimally slight possibility, on par with the possibility that Mars is actually inhabitted by 20' tall octopi that just keep out of view of the rover cameras.
quote:

Is this caucasian culture?

There is no such thing.



WhoreMods -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 10:54:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
quote:

Is this caucasian culture?

There is no such thing.

Is too. You drink blood out of the skull of your enemies while their women weep over (the rest of) their corpses or whatever the fuck it was Arnold said in that Conan film.
(Robert E Howard was a right-leaning closet case, apparently: he'd be a republican these days...)



Greta75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 12:45:23 PM)

I am kinda mind blown about how dark this could look.

Makes me wonder if he is doing this intentionally because he could get away with it in Asia?

Would he do the same to women back in his own country who probably has more employee protection than in Asia?

This definitely will not be considered sexual harassment here.

But the big point is, she might feel obligated to cooperate because she doesn't want to lose her job and the competition is huge in Asia for jobs. Most are desperate for one and also Asian employees are generally subservient. So she may never voice it.

I guess there is no way I can point blank say this to him without sounding like I am judging him.






CruelDom75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 12:59:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I am kinda mind blown about how dark this could look.

Makes me wonder if he is doing this intentionally because he could get away with it in Asia?


Probably yes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Would he do the same to women back in his own country who probably has more employee protection than in Asia?



Probably no.



WhoreMods -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 1:10:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
But the big point is, she might feel obligated to cooperate because she doesn't want to lose her job and the competition is huge in Asia for jobs. Most are desperate for one and also Asian employees are generally subservient. So she may never voice it.m.

In which case, at least she's got a few decent meals and her mum's scrip filled out of it: that's a lot more than she'd get from most workplace sex pests.



DesFIP -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 2:22:46 PM)

The problem here may also come if she refuses dinner because she has a hot date. He will be angry and jealous. And maybe then she’ll lose her job.

If this is not part of the usual job requirements for the position, and it wasn’t laid out during the interview, and agreed to, then it’s wrong.




WhoreMods -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 2:59:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The problem here may also come if she refuses dinner because she has a hot date. He will be angry and jealous. And maybe then she’ll lose her job.

If this is not part of the usual job requirements for the position, and it wasn’t laid out during the interview, and agreed to, then it’s wrong.



Obviously, but it sounds like he'sgetting away with it because his target's too scared of losing her job to object.



PeonForHer -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/13/2017 5:23:49 PM)

FR

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
And complained of sexual harassment.
The spider who eyed her
And sat down beside her
Ran off in great embarrassment.

More on that after the break.



Greta75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/14/2017 7:16:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods
Obviously, but it sounds like he'sgetting away with it because his target's too scared of losing her job to object.

Yea, she is being paid way above the market rate (another extra favour by this dude).This job is like a big deal for her. Especially dealing with her sick mom medical bills.



DocStrange -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/14/2017 2:26:57 PM)

I have to agree that this is clear harassment, sexual and otherwise. I am glad I do not work for such a company. If they allow this, then I would bet there is a lot of corruption elsewhere in the company.



Greta75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/14/2017 7:05:23 PM)

Whether it is sexual harassment is the greyest area, since there has no been sexual lewd comments or any proposition for sex. Beyond him thinking highly of her.



tamaka -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/14/2017 9:05:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Whether it is sexual harassment is the greyest area, since there has no been sexual lewd comments or any proposition for sex. Beyond him thinking highly of her.



Is he married?



Greta75 -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/14/2017 10:26:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
Is he married?

Divorced with joint custody of kids



Milesnmiles -> RE: I have a non-BDSM generic BGR question (11/30/2017 5:41:06 AM)

I guess I'm just destined to always play the "devil's advocate" in these forms and yes, there is a strong possibility that there is more to this than meets the eye but I also know people who have no one to talk to and when they find someone that will listen they go overboard.

Also even though this seems to be the era of sexual harassment and although the woman involved feels harassed, from what has been so far described this is not yet sexual harassment.



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