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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 1:44:52 PM

Posts: 133
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

Are really this stupid, great it worked for you, whoopee and yet we are in the midst of a massive drug epidemic, how come "just say no" didn't work for them?

People like you keep saying things idiotic things like "yes means yes and no, no" and some how think that will fix everything and don't realize that you are actually being a pedophilia apologist.

I said it worked for me, and I even italicized the "I"! Saying it worked for me does not a public policy make. I even tied it into the discussion to show how easy it is to respect someone else's unwillingness to participate.

Please explain how I'm a pedophilia apologist. That accusation came from NOWHERE. I'd like to know your your brain linked anything I said with violating children in the most heinous of ways.

(in reply to Milesnmiles)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 3:37:54 PM

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That may be a consideration in the vanilla world; but on the path...not so much.

CP

(in reply to Milesnmiles)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 7:23:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles
I'm glad it worked out for them, I just find that it is hard to trust someone who starts out by lying to you.

Yea, for me, I have this habit of lying to anybody I met from online about my real identity. They don't get my real name, my real phone number, my real email. What they get are all disposable. Even if I been fucking this dude for 2 years. He still does not know my real identity.

That's just me. For me, it's safety. If things turn south. I want to disappear. I had bad experience of men stalking or retaliating if you want to stop seeing him. Like a literal "Have sex with me again or else......things he knew about me threatening to use against me."

So this is what I do to protect myself. And it's just FwBs to me anyway. Only 3 men who I developed a trust with, did I confess to them my real identity and none of them got mad about it and think it's no big deal. They understood completely and we are all still good.

I can understand, safety is very important. I wasn’t talking about lying about things that you feel are important for your safety, especially if you’re upfront about telling me that you're lying to me about such things, if that makes sense.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 7:34:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome

quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
...

I have repeatedly posted in this kind of thread that I do not understand or accept any male attitude which bemoans how men are poor creatures who are put upon in today's workplace or dating culture, where somehow the slightest error can lead to a sincere individual being branded as a sexual harasser.
...

I found this to be interesting, I don't know about this "poor creatures" thing but will point out that I have started three threads just to have conversations about topics that seemed to be in the news and mostly to hear what others have to say on the subjects. For the most part I have not given my opinion on the subjects and yet without even knowing how I stand on the subject, I have been called a sexual harasser and an advocate for rape and that without the "slightest error".

You will notice that just as you haven't actually gone as far as to give your opinion, I haven't gone as far as to acuse you of anything of the sort.

You must be making a general point using me as your patsy.

Thanks mate. Always a pleasure.

Thanx for the understanding. I was using your comment just to point out there are some here who tend to jump to conclusions with very little provocation and not to say your were doing it.

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 8:09:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella

quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles
Are really this stupid, great it worked for you, whoopee and yet we are in the midst of a massive drug epidemic, how come "just say no" didn't work for them?

People like you keep saying things idiotic things like "yes means yes and no, no" and some how think that will fix everything and don't realize that you are actually being a pedophilia apologist.

I said it worked for me, and I even italicized the "I"! Saying it worked for me does not a public policy make. I even tied it into the discussion to show how easy it is to respect someone else's unwillingness to participate.

The context was that "just say no to drugs" has not fixed the drug problem. You then said it worked for you and I said great it worked for you put then returned to the original thought that this simplistic slogan has not solved the drug problem and in fact the problem has gotten worse. Thus I was just pointing out that simplistic slogans are not solving problems. Yes, they can be helpful if used thoughtfully and carefully applied but tossed about willynilly like they can be applied in every circumstance regardless of context, they can become very dangerous.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella
Please explain how I'm a pedophilia apologist. That accusation came from NOWHERE. I'd like to know your your brain linked anything I said with violating children in the most heinous of ways.

The problem I'm pointing out is how people jump on simplistic slogans like your "yes means yes and no, no" without bothering to think out how these things can be twisted by those in the real world that will use them for their own purposes. For example, could not a pedophile take your "yes means yes" and say the child said yes and thus gave me consent and since "yes means yes", what I did was okay. When in actuality a child's yes cannot be considered to mean yes in this case.

I have become tired of people thinking it's okay to "arm" young innocents with simplistic slogans like "yes means yes and no, no" and concepts like "consent" and then sending them out into the real world where there are people who could care less about such things. I think it's time to "arm" these innocents with real ideas and concepts that will help them survive the beasts that await them as they leave the nest.

I thought that what Greta75 said about "lying" or withholding information and it could serve to be a protection, to be such an idea.

< Message edited by Milesnmiles -- 12/4/2017 8:11:54 PM >

(in reply to cloverodella)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 9:52:04 PM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome

quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
...

I have repeatedly posted in this kind of thread that I do not understand or accept any male attitude which bemoans how men are poor creatures who are put upon in today's workplace or dating culture, where somehow the slightest error can lead to a sincere individual being branded as a sexual harasser.
...

I found this to be interesting, I don't know about this "poor creatures" thing but will point out that I have started three threads just to have conversations about topics that seemed to be in the news and mostly to hear what others have to say on the subjects. For the most part I have not given my opinion on the subjects and yet without even knowing how I stand on the subject, I have been called a sexual harasser and an advocate for rape and that without the "slightest error".

You will notice that just as you haven't actually gone as far as to give your opinion, I haven't gone as far as to acuse you of anything of the sort.

You must be making a general point using me as your patsy.

Thanks mate. Always a pleasure.

Thanx for the understanding. I was using your comment just to point out there are some here who tend to jump to conclusions with very little provocation and not to say your were doing it.

You do however continue to attack other people's positions in a more or less strident way whilst claiming that you don't actually hold a position yourself.

You then try to create some kind of moral high ground for yourself by claiming that you didn't actually say what you implied or almost said.

it's a great mechanism for creating accusation and counter-accusation which could be entertaining if you like that sort of thing.

My position on these subjects is clear and unequivocal.

No means no. Pursuing someone after they say no is tantamount to harassment. Women are harassed by men they say no to. Men are in a position to avoid such harassment merely by behaving properly and not assuming that pursuing is some kind of game women really like deep down but wont say out loud. Men are not in a difficult position here but many repeatedly put themselves in a difficult position.

You question these things over and over but try to side step criticism by claiming that you do not really hold the contrary position and are only asking questions. It is an interesting rhetorical technique which attracts a very predictable response from people.

Your outrage at the responses you get is clearly some kind of psychological pay off for you, but you are the only one who is actually surprised at it.

(in reply to Milesnmiles)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 11:48:53 AM

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Joined: 8/8/2013
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In your reply to longwayhome in post #30, you said

quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

"I have started three threads just to have conversations about topics that seemed to be in the news and mostly to hear what others have to say on the subjects. For the most part I have not given my opinion on the subjects and yet without even knowing how I stand on the subject, I have been called a sexual harasser and an advocate for rape and that without the "slightest error". "

Yet you have given your opinion in every reply in some way or another. For us it is obvious you knew where you stood on the subjects of consent and male aggression before starting the topics. That is what we've all responded to. Your back-peddling that you didn't think that way is pretty easy to see through. On that note...

Thank you for finally admitting the following (emphasis mine):

quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

I have become tired of people thinking it's okay to "arm" young innocents with simplistic slogans like "yes means yes and no, no" and concepts like "consent" and then sending them out into the real world where there are people who could care less about such things.

(in reply to Milesnmiles)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 1:34:38 PM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

...is shit. What is not shit is that some women are crazy enough to feel threatened when no threat is intended.

No usually the threat is very direct.

I'm very sure they feel it is direct. But before we go further, define "direct threat" in this context, if you will please. Then let's consider what would happen, if all the women some here think are subjected to direct threats during their lives, were to be approached by men who not trying to threaten them. Why, I believe they would "run" from them after being directly threatened in the past because of a complete lack of trust in males. Additionally, I believe if what is being said on this thread is true, we would be in a state where the marriage rate is in decline because women are no longer receptive to men because they were subjected to direct threats by men during their lifetime. Do you believe the marriage rate is in decline because women are afraid of men?

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 1:38:33 PM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

...is shit. What is not shit is that some women are crazy enough to feel threatened when no threat is intended.

and what would you know about what women feel? Your imaginings are from a single source.
YOU
oh and you are Not a female

That is true. I am not. But knowing how women feel is not impossible for men.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 1:41:24 PM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline

...

(in reply to LTE)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 1:47:20 PM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline

Men listen to women more than you might imagine and work hard at understanding what a woman feels and how she thinks and what she desires and what she needs. I suggest some men know women enough to dominate them. Don't you? Of course you do. I think we are in agreement.

This is also how I know most are not directly threatened by men although they may feel that way. We men can deal with the situation as we see it a lot. We also see many women who are unstable in their feelings and are therefore dangerous to us when attempting to advance a relationship with them. Fortunately for men, in today's world women can no longer destroy a man in most case just because they "feel threatened" as they could in the past. In the past it was possible for a woman to destroy a man and his career simply based on what she "feels". I am glad that day is over as I am sure you are.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 5:08:18 PM

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE
I'm very sure they feel it is direct. But before we go further, define "direct threat" in this context, if you will please.

When a man flares up over my objections of spending time with him, and starts getting nasty. That is a direct threat. I worry about physical violence next.
I am clearly not afraid of men in general, as I am very comfortable with ONS. And I think it's night and day, when a man makes you feel safe and when one makes your hair stand and your gut tells you to run. It's how he phrase things and the tone he use.

quote:

Do you believe the marriage rate is in decline because women are afraid of men?

Marriage is declining because co-dependency is not encouraged anymore. In the past women were brought up to see men as a necessity in their lives. Women are now encouraged to be independent and told they are strong and will be perfectly fine without a man. So if they are brought up to feel that way, they will feel like they prefer to be alone.

It's ironic, an aunt of mine told me that if I was smart, never ever get married, earn your own money, enjoy your own money, spend it on yourself! Travel the world! You don't need a man, they are more burdensome than any help.
Marriage is not worth all the trouble that comes with it ha! She got 2 kids with her husbands whom she is living practically in another country to be away from him. But the kids are with her and not her husband.

(in reply to LTE)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 7:13:11 PM

Posts: 40310
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

...is shit. What is not shit is that some women are crazy enough to feel threatened when no threat is intended.

and what would you know about what women feel? Your imaginings are from a single source.
YOU
oh and you are Not a female

That is true. I am not. But knowing how women feel is not impossible for men.

I didnt say "men" dont know how women feel, many many men do it very well
I said YOU.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LTE)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 7:26:56 PM

Posts: 40310
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

Men listen to women more than you might imagine and work hard at understanding what a woman feels and how she thinks and what she desires and what she needs. I suggest some men know women enough to dominate them. Don't you? Of course you do. I think we are in agreement.

This is also how I know most are not directly threatened by men although they may feel that way. We men can deal with the situation as we see it a lot. We also see many women who are unstable in their feelings and are therefore dangerous to us when attempting to advance a relationship with them. Fortunately for men, in today's world women can no longer destroy a man in most case just because they "feel threatened" as they could in the past. In the past it was possible for a woman to destroy a man and his career simply based on what she "feels". I am glad that day is over as I am sure you are.

The problem isnt with men who think they can dominate their woman or man, or vice versa. how ridiculous.
This has naff all to do with BDSM and consensual relationships(including CNC relationships)
try again.
The problem is the men that think that every woman is dying to be dominated, touched, or harrassed by a "weal" man
Its not true
Regarding false accusations. No one should make false accusations of sex assault against another person, ever.
its vindictive, malicious, and vile.
Male or female.
However, the lives of women can be just as destroyed by men who think they have a physical and mental right to assault, rape, molest them without recourse.
They dont, and that that is changing, its past time.
you are a relic.
theres a lot like you about.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LTE)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 7:34:11 PM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline

quote:

When a man flares up over my objections of spending time with him, and starts getting nasty. That is a direct threat. I worry about physical violence next.

You get in this situation by not knowing the person you are with. It happens to men also for the same reason. I will guess correctly that you were not introduced to this person by anyone you knew and trusted. The women I know who never suffer such threats always meet men through common trusted contacts. It is a time tested way women have met and dated men who are safe in this context and these are not always exactly vanilla women in many cases.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 7:38:26 PM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

...is shit. What is not shit is that some women are crazy enough to feel threatened when no threat is intended.

and what would you know about what women feel? Your imaginings are from a single source.
YOU
oh and you are Not a female

That is true. I am not. But knowing how women feel is not impossible for men.

I didnt say "men" dont know how women feel, many many men do it very well
I said YOU.

Sometimes I do exercise bad judgment. I am not perfect by any means. I have failed at times in relationships and likely will again but I will try my best for her and me. Or maybe I will do what some women I know do, collect cats.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 7:48:32 PM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

spend the money on the kids.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LTE)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 7:56:07 PM

LTE

Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

Men listen to women more than you might imagine and work hard at understanding what a woman feels and how she thinks and what she desires and what she needs. I suggest some men know women enough to dominate them. Don't you? Of course you do. I think we are in agreement.

This is also how I know most are not directly threatened by men although they may feel that way. We men can deal with the situation as we see it a lot. We also see many women who are unstable in their feelings and are therefore dangerous to us when attempting to advance a relationship with them. Fortunately for men, in today's world women can no longer destroy a man in most case just because they "feel threatened" as they could in the past. In the past it was possible for a woman to destroy a man and his career simply based on what she "feels". I am glad that day is over as I am sure you are.

The problem isnt with men who think they can dominate their woman or man, or vice versa. how ridiculous.
This has naff all to do with BDSM and consensual relationships(including CNC relationships)
try again.
The problem is the men that think that every woman is dying to be dominated, touched, or harrassed by a "weal" man
Its not true
Regarding false accusations. No one should make false accusations of sex assault against another person, ever.
its vindictive, malicious, and vile.
Male or female.
However, the lives of women can be just as destroyed by men who think they have a physical and mental right to assault, rape, molest them without recourse.
They dont, and that that is changing, its past time.
you are a relic.
theres a lot like you about.

You are right about many of the things you say. Certainly they are right for you because I think some things you say come from being with men who misplace their code of conduct that we should expect from all men when dealing with our fairer partners. Also, I am prompted to point out that male dominance not about BDSM in this context but about the grand design and about the correct treatment and respect by men for those they lead, protect and provide for.

I am perhaps a relic. Is that a bad thing in your view or simply does it mean my views are outdated and no longer apply to women or men in today's modern western world? Perhaps so. We will see, but if so they still eternally guide me and define an important part of me and without them I am not me.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 8:34:07 PM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

No, it simply means that your views are outdated when it comes to reality, however, getting old,as we all do, we become relics. we stick to our upbringing our past experiences, because its comfortable, it was the "good old days".
Change is uncertain and strange however much its needed.

I dont have an issue with "domination" obviously otherwise I wouldnt be on this board. Any couple or triad etc in a D/s relationship isnt my focus.

This "female empowerment" to speak out about abuse, isnt going away, no matter how much some want it to.
D/s or M/s relationships aside.(male or female) And that to me isnt an issue, consent is.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LTE)

RE: Agressive Males? - 12/5/2017 10:26:56 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE
You get in this situation by not knowing the person you are with.

No I get being in this situation as an innocent bystander not soliciting for any attention. Do I approach and talk to strange men?

No. It's always strange men approach and talk to me. No matter what, when you are alone and some dude walks up and talk to you, it's like, your defenses are up because, you don't know his motives.

Isn't it in the news recently that some lady got killed after meeting her date in Tinder?

I mean, if women don't practice caution. That could be her. She could have been completely trusting and innocent. And not looking out for her own safety.

(in reply to LTE)

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