politeness and manners

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

politeness and manners

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> politeness and manners

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 5:07:14 AM

Posts: 40
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline

If you message someone on collarspace, and I mean POLITELY, they have some choices. maybe they are interested and wish to correspond and persue correspondence. A polite thanks but not interested. Ignore and delete your message. Last couple of days I have run into a third response: Rude and obscene reply and then being blocked. Why the heck do people do this? I have no wish to be friends or correspond with anyone who does not wish to do so. WTF!!?

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 5:37:26 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If you’ve never had any group discussions together so they recognize your name, if you ignored their profile stating they’re not looking for a relationship, then the rude person is you.

Just like the fact that you are both riding the same bus does not mean they want you to pick them up and when you ignore that, being told to leave them the fuck alone is a clear statement pointing out your rudeness.

But if you feel obligated to be welcoming to everyone who intrudes on you, then you need to not tell telemarketers to stop calling you, especially if you do so with expletives added.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to johnsk)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 5:38:09 AM

Posts: 76
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline

Some men don't like being told no. I am older and DON'T want younger. Some younger don't like that I am not desperate to want them. How can I be picky at my age when there is so many younger women one asked. Ummm its because I want a man. Because I am not meeting yet some so called men don't like that so write a nasty message. WTF IS UP WITH THAT???

(in reply to johnsk)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 7:14:42 AM

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

When the first sentence of my profile stated I was collared and owned, I still got idiots wanting to get to know me so we can see where it goes. Now that Gary passed away a couple months ago I get idiots who call me "Dear" and send hugs and kisses. Why do I owe politeness to those idiots?

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to johnsk)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 7:22:55 AM

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

Edited as got some profile names mixed up. Apologies.

My profile, as a perfect example, is very to the point. It always has been right from me joining. When I joined I had a playmate, and he was a part of my life for over six years. I had no intention at all in involving anyone else in my life. He was complicated enough for anyone. My profile clearly stated I was here for the forums only. You'd think that's all that is needed, right? No, wrong. Because men are shit at reading. They think they are so damn special that I'll go against what I've put just for them. So I started adding little qualifications to my profile, and it really couldn't have screamed 'Fuck off' any louder than if I'd actually written those words. Then do you know what happens? You get some other dick head trying to tell me how I should run my profile. That it's all my fault because I choose to have a photo of myself on MY profile. Uuummmm, except that I spent a lot of my life with body image issues, and my photo is there for MY benefit, and the 'I don't want YOU' is there for YOUR benefit. Telling me I shouldn't have a photo of myself in fetish gear on a kink site is like telling me I can't wear certain clothing because of course I then deserve to get raped. Alternatively, men could just read profiles, and respect what is there, then maybe we wouldn't have lost our patience so very long ago and treat virtually everyone the same.

I say virtually, but mostly I ignore the fuckwits that message me. I delete without reading all their nonsense too. Occasionally though I reply, and it's because I've either had a compliment, or my sarcasm button got flipped.

Last night a guy asked me if I'm real. My answer was 'It depends on which theory you subscribe to, so yes, no, and infinitely.' He replied back saying he was just checking because there are so many fakes. Now as I'm not looking for anyone why would I have reason to pretend to be anything other than me. Also, I don't know what he thought he was going to do from Atlanta when I'm in the UK.

See how this crap works for us now?

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to Onerat1)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:06:11 AM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

If you message someone on collarspace, and I mean POLITELY, they have some choices. maybe they are interested and wish to correspond and persue correspondence. A polite thanks but not interested. Ignore and delete your message. Last couple of days I have run into a third response: Rude and obscene reply and then being blocked. Why the heck do people do this? I have no wish to be friends or correspond with anyone who does not wish to do so. WTF!!?

Let's imagine that you did everything right, read someone's profile and wrote a personalised, appropriate and polite message.

You might still get it thrown back in your face because many people (usually women) are used to receiving large numbers of messages that are irrelevant at best and rude/abusive at worst.

If you receive a bad response when you have done everything "right" you have to remind yourself that yours is not the only message the person has received. It's not your fault that so many men on-line are dickheads but there is no point in getting upset that someone's response is clouded by that fact.

Coming on the boards and complaining about getting poor responses from some women who have no doubt been repeatedly harassed or had their wishes ignored, unfortunately (as you have seen) ends up with you being seen as part of the problem.

There are countless threads on this topic. You should read them.

Have care about who you message and how, and don't bitch if you get a poor response.

You may be the nicest person in the world but your message still may not be welcome. If women have to put up with on-line abuse, the least you can do is understand that and put up with the occasional "piss off" response without starting a thread to moan about it.

(in reply to johnsk)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:06:54 AM

Posts: 76
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline

I also say some think they are special. No younger men then me means no younger men. Didn't stop a 22 year old from writing. Like him having he loves older women on his profile makes a difference to me. Might be 60 but as much as I love kink and miss it I will not go younger.Also he had nothing else on his profile except for something about sex. My profile says no sex. As we all women know what us women have on our profile it doesn't matter to some men. I no longer answer with a polite no thanks. I used to if he was the right age and local. Otherwise no. I don't answer any mail and delete unread. I do like to read the profile of those that write or view mine.

(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:15:04 AM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

FR to OP

For my part I message no-one with either sexual or romantic intentions. I reckon women on here get enough of that and I am not here to date in any case.

Some people do meet friends or even lovers on CS but there are other settings in which to meet people where you will have a better chance to judge their response - like real life.

Hey, you might even get to know someone before propositioning them.

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:25:04 AM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

My personal best response was looking at someone's profile because I was interested in what they had written (after all if you want to hide your profile you can).

I then received a stinking response saying that I shouldn't read her profile if I wasn't serious enough to send her a message - followed by being blocked.

You've just got to shrug your shoulders, smile and walk away.

I would never bitch about that kind of thing on the boards and I'm not bitching now. I just see things like that as a sign of how poorly many men behave so, as a man, I have to expect a disproportionate response sometimes.

So many men take no notice of what women write, no notice of their wishes and get seriously pissed when women aren't interested. You just have to learn not to take it personally when you get shot down - even when you haven't actually sent a message!

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:28:11 AM

CaptR

Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline

I think it's funny men are being singled out as perpetrators here. Yes the op is presumably male but there are women here who are equally obnoxious. Politely decline an invitation as a male and you may get a response telling you how much of a loser you are for rejecting an offer from perfection. Or worse yet a stalker hell bent on harassment. Gay, bi and transgendered persons can be impolite too after they make contact with you and you respectfully decline. We have all received less than civil treatment when responding politely.
I chalk it up to them not being spanked hard or often enough growing up. ;
Manners, some people have them, some people are just born rude.

< Message edited by CaptR -- 12/7/2017 8:33:00 AM >

_____________________________

My posts don't always kill threads but when they do it's quiet, quick and clean ;)

(in reply to needlesandpins)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:52:05 AM

Posts: 76
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline

What some don't get is you have to read a profile to know if you might be interested. I don't mind mine being read. I don't have seeking anything off so nobody knows if not read. There is no option for age group so profiles have to be read. Reading but not writing does not mean you are not serious.

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:53:54 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/6/2016
Status: offline

Let’s be honest the women on here are far more abusive and aggressive than the men and I think a lot of them don’t even see it as wrong

(in reply to Onerat1)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 8:56:26 AM

Posts: 76
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline

Nobody said it's only males not polite unless I missed it. Myself said some men once or twice. I know there is good and bad in both sexes, along with races etc.

In reply to CapR, not myself.

(in reply to Onerat1)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 9:12:21 AM

CaptR

Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline

It was the general trend of responses that elicited that post from me.

_____________________________

My posts don't always kill threads but when they do it's quiet, quick and clean ;)

(in reply to Onerat1)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 9:20:51 AM

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk33

Let’s be honest the women on here are far more abusive and aggressive than the men and I think a lot of them don’t even see it as wrong

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onerat1

Nobody said it's only males not polite unless I missed it. Myself said some men once or twice. I know there is good and bad in both sexes, along with races etc.

In reply to CapR, not myself.

I have to admit that my post did refer specifically to men and women.

As with most things there are indeed women who act obnoxiously but you've got to face it men just tend not to get the deluge of inappropriate messages that women get.

Saying that some men suffer at the hands of stalkerish behaviour and experience women going over the top when rejected, doesn't change the fact that generally women receive far more offensive mail than men.

Many men do get it in the neck, purely as a consequence of the behaviour of those men who behave badly. It's an unfortunate fact of life.

As a man, I prefer just to behave properly myself and not berate women for being cautious and occasionally less than pleasant in the way that they respond to messages, given the amount of crap they often have to put up with.

(in reply to submaleuk33)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 10:03:04 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I do have to admit, I think it's wonderful that the OP is one of the folks who

a) Ignored what I had in my profile

b) Went ahead and wrote me anyway some time ago

c) Got blocked after he did so, and

d) Is here now writing a thread on the manners other people should have.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 10:20:17 AM

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

having read his posts again, ...yeah

I know he has mailed me but I cleared my inbox a while ago.
His past posts would be enough for most smart women.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 10:24:28 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I then received a stinking response saying that I shouldn't read her profile if I wasn't serious enough to send her a message - followed by being blocked.

Yep. I have a hunch that such people feel that looking at someone's profile but not writing to them is a bit like peering through the front windows of their house but not knocking. Just ... odd.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to longwayhome)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 10:32:36 AM

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

Surely it's better when someone has looked at your profile and doesn't message you, rather than does look, and then messages you with inane nonsense that wastes the time of you both. What sort of deranged people are these?

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: politeness and manners - 12/7/2017 10:45:44 AM

Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline

I have gotten the rude messages from guys after looking at their profile then not messaging. Not just here but on other sites as well. No clue why that is an issue.

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> politeness and manners

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.234