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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 3:15:24 AM

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Joined: 7/15/2006
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I am a Dominant, and enjoy anal stimulation, I have had some bisexual experiences and didn't find them totally unpleasant. The question of whether or not this particular act would be considered unDomly or not may have already been beat into the ground, but I have on other viewpoint I haven't read. Is it considered unDommely for a Mistress to expect her slave to give her some hard cock in her pussy? It's no different! I really enjoyed the comment that the only unDomly thing would be to want it, and be too damn timid to demand it!

(in reply to Wolfie648)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 3:16:28 AM

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Now what about the reverse..is it against the Domina Code of Conduct to enjoy and request Her male sub (or female sub with strapon) for anal sex?

I should think not. Simply because the most convenient position in on the knees, doth not make a submissive person make.

What about a Domina who enjoys performing oral sex on Her submissive. Does that make Her any less in control simply because She's giving pleasure?

It isn't about the particular act, or position of the body..it's about who you are inside. Being on your knees doesn't change a person's inherent personality.

MMNH

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 5:10:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I have never had a desire to receive anal (and a prostate exam a few years ago, solidified that feeling), but I don't think that if a Dom desired his slave to do it to him, that would necessarily make him any less of a Dom. It could cause some questioning from his slave/sub though, if she feels that his desire is more sub than Dom. And that may stop him from indulging.

Just wait until you are an old man like me Estring, then you gotta do the happy pipe, they snake that up into your intestines, the little shitbreather that likes to play with your prostate is nothing like that. The clown that does that just dreads seeing me every year, because he is within a hairsbreath of death, evertime. It is no joyous occasion for anyone in that room when I am done.

I am with Estring here. I don't like the sensation whatsoever.

Rimming is joy.

Others are different, tho.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 6:37:02 AM

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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There cometh a time in the life of all machinery including human machines where the exhaust pipe need a good clean. You have two choices:

First: You allow some heavy goons strap you face down over a 6' oak beam and they get to work with a rough cut piece of 3" x 3" jarrah with a spikey end filled with splinters and well greased with 2nd hand axel greece and slowl;ey (to increase the anticipation and sensation) ram it up your kyber whilst a shaply big bosomed nurse with a micro mini skirt tries to comfort you. After the dried shit has been removed and you are rendered speachless and impotent by your experience and hunmiliation, they call in the chimney sweep who merrily gets to work with his brushes and extended handles (never be able to watch Dick van Dyke in mary Poppins again). When this all finished and a squad of SWAT move in to protect the staff as you are released, you notice that the nures has bugged off to tell her friends what a brave boy you were and repeat any new words or expressions you may have uttered. On you file in noted if you may be considered for a good anal fistying when the next class begins..

Two: You have the soft gooee cheese inserted as far as it can be by a hydraulic insertion gun and you are strapped down and a trained ferret is turned loose to clean all the cheese as well as the encrusted shit, piles etc..

Either way you may as well enjoy it and who knows you may score with the nurse but you may also find yourself being turned on by the male hunk of a wardie with the huge bulge in the front of his daks.. Either way you on a win/win situation......

EDITED TO ADD:

I enjoy anal stimulation. When my sexy asian female Phisician gives me an anal exam she is made aware that I have a roaring hard on (Still going to collar the bitch one day, mark my words). However looking at my two responces to Ron, I must confess I personally use neither of those techniques but put a condome on the blade of a jack hammer and I get a clean out, decoking and stimulation all at once. Will be commensing negotiations to market portable one man jack hammers replete with condoms as Men's Vibrators....

IB
(Purveyer of Proctology Equipment)

< Message edited by IronBear -- 8/26/2006 6:50:23 AM >

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(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 7:00:44 AM

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I enjoy anal stimulation and she enjoys doing it. It doesn't change anything about who is Dom or sub in the relatiuonship. Sometimes we just like to have sex .

K

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 7:56:27 AM

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From: South Central CO
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Yeahhhhhh, PlayfulOne! I’m with you on this one. I ‘discovered’ BDSM only about three years ago…but have enjoyed both giving and receiving anal stimulation since I became sexually active.

What on earth is either Dominant or submissive about two people being so intimate and comfortable with one another as to enjoy the pleasures of ‘the big taboo’?

Personally, I find it comforting and exciting to know my hetro male Dominant is solid enough in both his Dominance and his sexuality to let himself enjoy receiving anal stimulation. Now, that’s a MAN!

bearlee

(in reply to PlayfulOne)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 8:12:00 AM

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what a great thread ....... pheeeew ok I am not alone in some of my likes. while I do not like anything shoved in my ass I have on occasion liked and asked a girl to use her tongue on the orafice or rim me. I don't think there is perticularly anything un-Domly about it.

I think it all revolves back to what makes us feel good ... and if these sensations make ya feel good ... tell her to do it, if she scoffs at it then maybe the dynamic isn't as solid as you thought it was. I have a few areas I find great stimulation in even getting my nipples licked upon is a huge turn on for me and I never question my sexuality with it ..... I am as hetro as they get .. lol

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(in reply to shadevarr)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 8:21:09 AM

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As for the question of whether this is a 'Dominant' sensation ...

I have found it useful to distinguish between acting as a Top versus a Bottom, and being a Dominant versus a submissive. The former pair of terms I use to describe who is providing physical sensation or manipulation of whom. The latter I use to describe the relationship of authority, overt power, and control between the participants.

It it my personality to be Dominant in interpersonal interactions in general, and in BDSM interactions I am always very overtly Dominant. Also, in BDSM interactions I am always the Top, with certain notable exceptions ...

When, as a Dominant, I command my submissive to give me a massage or to deliver oral sex, I am acting as a Bottom, and she as a Top, though our D/s relationship remains unchanged. Similarly, although I personally have NO interest in receiving anal ...

Were I to command my submissive to don a strap-on and use it on me, I would most definitely still be acting in a DOMINANT fashion, though I would be taking the role of the Bottom, as in the examples of the previous paragraph.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 8:33:52 AM

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From: South Central CO
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s
getting my nipples licked upon is a huge turn on ..... I am as hetro as they get ...

Yummmmmmm.... and very oral girls appreciate being helpful in that regard, too!

<sigh> I love a man who knows what he likes!!!

bear

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 8:56:37 AM

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This ties in with the whole discussion about Dominants who 'bottom'. I am a Dom, I don't switch. I am a Top, again I don't switch, however there is nothing un-domly about those who do, so long as they keep in control of whats going on.

As Arpig states, not getting what you want because you feared it would make you look less Domly, THAT would be the action of someone who wasn't confident enough to actualy BE Dominant!

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 10:02:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LouisDonatien
Were I to command my submissive to don a strap-on and use it on me, I would most definitely still be acting in a DOMINANT fashion, though I would be taking the role of the Bottom, as in the examples of the previous paragraph.

I disagree that bottom = recipient and top = giver. A master who orders his slave to do his tax returns is not suddenly becoming the bottom when she hands him the forms to sign.

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(in reply to LouisDonatien)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 10:08:41 AM

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I have to agree LA .. just because a Dominant asks for certain things to happen does not in any way make him a bottom . I know several Doms who are masochictic .... does that make them a sub or slave no . they control the situation they prescibe whats to be done to them ..... they are very much in control . they just like certain things and will train thier subs to do as directed

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 10:34:35 AM

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Joined: 12/22/2005
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I've noticed that dominant men and women alike are a bit secretive about receiving anal penetration among their peers, and it seems that it may be because they find it shameful or incongruous with dominance. As others have said, activities like anal sex, massages, SM are not dominant or submissive acts in themselves, and RavenMuse is indeed correct in aligning this discussion with the "dominant bottom" threads. The exact activity isn't important to power roles; the dominant or submissive part is in determining what activity is done and how. Tamerofwild1s, I think you're on the same page as I am, but we're using the word "bottom" differently. Like you said, people who are both dominant and masochistic don't become subs or slaves by getting hit the way they want. They behave as bottoms, if bottom means "The one getting hit". About definitions, I'm with LouisDonatien broadly on definitions of top and bottom as distinct from dominant and submissive, at least with respect to scenes. However, "giver" and "recipient" aren't quite the best ways to define tops and bottoms, especially for activities like intercourse where both people may be giving and receiving physical sensation. Perhaps it would be better, at least in the context of a two-person interaction involving physical stimulation, to designate the active partner a "top" and the passive partner a "bottom".

Monica

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 2:00:14 PM

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From: UK
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I would say that within a gay SM relationship it is generally assumed that a slave is 100% bottom and a master is 100% top, most slaves hate the idea of fucking people and there are probably some slaves who would see it as a humiliating punishment if they were made to fuck their master. I have always been 100% top with slaves and I find the concept of one of them trying to mount me quite abhorrent also since most of them hate doing it anyway I have always assumed that they would not be very good at it. I have quite liked being fucked in some of my none SM relationships before though I do tend to get rather insatiable while it is going on so I have to find a men who do not mind me almost chewing their shoulder off during the process. I really love being rimmed though I would not even begin to consider doing it to anyone else I hate doing things that I feel are sort of submissive, not in a conscious way the idea really just turns me off though I have never really equated being fucked with being submissive.

I would also like to point out that I think there is a big difference between experiencing anal stimulation during a horny erotic encounter and experiencing anal stimulation while being bent over in a doctors surgery with some random person who has cold hands sticking their gloved fingers in and having a bit of a rummage about. I think it is probably similar to a woman comparing a gynaecological examination with cold metal thingies to a night of hot horny sex, the two things really don’t compare other than the fact that the same body part is involved during both procedures.

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(in reply to mp072004)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 4:02:49 PM

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I should have been more explicit. My use of the words "Top" and "Bottom" has nothing to do with the power dynamic between partners. For that I use the terms "Dominant" and "submissive". I have found these pairs of words useful in my BDSM community to distinguish between the physical acts and the power dynamics. And by the way, I only use the words "Topping" and "Bottoming" to refer specifically to the delivery of physical pain in an erotic scenario - NOT to just any physical acts (giving/receiving tax returns, giving/receiving gits, etc.). (But I realize now that according to my own use of the words, the giving/receiving of a massage would certainly not necessarily be Topping/Bottoming. )

Again, this is simply the terminology that I have found useful in my own BDSM community.

Long ago, I watched a BDSM play scene that went like this. There was a woman on her hands and knees on the end of a bed, with her butt facing the end of the bed. Standing at the foot of the bed, about 3 feet away from the woman's butt, was a man with a flogger. The man was flogging the woman (who was loving it!) as SHE barked out orders to him to do so, and HE was completely submissive, dutifully carrying out her orders and answering "Yes ma'am". Later he used other toys to perform ministrations to her - under her strict orders. As it turns out, this man was one of her submissives, and she his Dominant. And as I learned later, they often played in this manner, but always, even during this kind of play, she was extremely Dominant toward him and he extremely submissive to her. This style of play of theirs did not alter one iota their D/s power dynamic.

So what words shall I use to refer to just the physical activities I witnessed as separate from their power dynamics? As I have said, I have found in my BDSM community that the words "Topping" and "Bottoming" are efficatious in communicating this distinction.

But let's remember that these words are our slaves. If someone finds it useful to employ these words in a different manner than I, then that's fine. Even if you find it useful to treat the word "Top" as a synonym for "Dominant" and the word "Bottom" as a synonym for "submissive", then that's super, if if helps you communicate.

My ACTUAL point in my post was, the physical receipt of anal penetration and the physical delivery of anal penetration do NOT necessarily imply an act of social submission and Dominance, respectively.

(in reply to MstrTiger)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 9/26/2006 6:49:48 AM

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From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

interesting topic.

i have absolutely no problem with straight men enjoying anal stimulation. i lived with a gay submissive and have been told allllll about it :)

however as a submissive who revels in the traditional masculinity of being Dominated by a man i would feel uncomfortable pleasing Him in this way during a scene. i would feel less submissive. as a sub i am receptive - i take Him into me, i do not put things into Him. this is just me. it does not make Him less Dominant to want it.

hope that makes sense.
gypsy.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 9/26/2006 7:49:36 AM

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I have had one woman do the prostate thing and it was good but it isn't a big thing for me. If it was, you can be sure that you would have NO doubt who was in control. As LA says it isn't the act itself.

As for rimming, it is pretty much a deal breaker for me if someone is unwilling to do that.

(in reply to gypsylee)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 9/26/2006 10:38:31 AM

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i have always noticed, that lots of folks DO inadvertantly associate certain sexual acts to be either dominant or submissive, or, a gender specific pleasure in nature. Perhaps this would be a good reseach paper. ;-)

Kind of like how cars, boats and any other type of vehicle is often referrred to as female. LOL! "The ole gal isn't workin too well these days...clogged in the tail pipe and hesitant to start..."

i have often heard sentiments of how a guy would never allow his girl to rim him, for that would mean he was a latent homosexual...i simply laugh...what else can ya do, each person has their attachments to specific acts of pleasure and do often associate a gender or attach an archetype to a specific act. Have seen it in every lifestyle, not limited to BDSM circles.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 9/26/2006 7:09:03 PM

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Just wait until you are an old man like me Estring, then you gotta do the happy pipe, they snake that up into your intestines, the little shitbreather that likes to play with your prostate is nothing like that. The clown that does that just dreads seeing me every year, because he is within a hairsbreath of death, evertime. It is no joyous occasion for anyone in that room when I am done.

ROFL mnottertail!

guys... try having a pap smear every second year from 16yo or so, until you die. no, i am not into medical play. the doctors can keep their f'en speculums!

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 9/26/2006 7:21:15 PM

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Like most men who are active (and honest about it), I've tried anal stimulation, but it never did much for me.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

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