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RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/7/2006 9:51:04 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		Well speaking in percents...then about 1% of this site..if it actually reaches 1% are people that are from Iceland and I think that's a fact

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/7/2006 2:19:45 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I will say this much.  The dominant female lifestyle seems a natural fit for many black women.  And yes, I am stereotyping.  I serve a black woman, and when I brought this up to her, she had to agree.  Many black women have quite a bit of sass and attitude.  They're halfway to being slave trainers from the word go.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/7/2006 3:04:23 PM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Ms Kat Houston,

I like conversing with dominant women which is why I'm here. I like having intelligent  conversation with them.

What I was trying to do was to stimulate some self-reflection. "How does my background influence my perceptions, techniques and attitude regarding BDSM in general and my dominance in particular?"

I was trying to stimulate a discussion among the dominant women on this site.

You asked about differences  in profiles of black dommes? Well, a few come to mind. Most don't mention it. Some put it right in the title: e.g. Black Dominatrix...etc....Mocha....Black BBW....Ebony....Onyx....stuff like that.  Also, some implore sub men NOT to focus on their race, but to concentrate on their skills, or personality, etc. A few, however, want  us to do JUST THE OPPOSITE  and  to notice that they're a BLACK AMAZON GODDESS  and that there's nothing more imposing and awesome than a BLACK Superior Woman, etc. etc. Many specify WHITE males only. Is any of this 'bad'?  Nah, of course not. It's okay. I'ts fine. *smiles*  You never see something like "WHITE dominatrix seeking black worms for conquest". LOL   All that stuff is perfectly acceptable.  It IS a difference based on race, however. Big deal.

Someone else asked for examples of realism and some thought that this meant that they were more likely to give information about their weight. I hadn't noticed that, but the commentators may be right. What I was referring to was just the opposite. I call it 'filtering out the white trash.'  I perceive (could be wrong) a slightly higher incidence of requirements stated in the profile that males be employed and not drink too much. If this is true, it might be a cultural determinant.

This stuff shouldn't be that controversial. Imagine for example that you're a Dominant Woman...not much of a stretch you say....*smiles*....now imagine that you grew up and live in....hmmm.....the Middle East. Would that alter your perspective, methods and behavior to some degree?

I'm attracted to  Dominant Women . I like reading your observations and thoughts. I like seeing you mentally dig  just a little deeper. You struggle with the mental challenges and we struggle with the physical ones: you tackle  the conundrums, enigmas, and paradoxes of life and we endure  the extra five cane strokes. LOL  Seriously, whether I agree or not I like seeing a Dominant Woman really pushing herself intellectually and expressing her ideas. That was my motivation.






(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/8/2006 3:54:45 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings woflen
 
i do say sorry i understand now thanks for wrting as a black domme i want to be with the group here not single out as being black i always seen me as a person until a unkind person holds their purse closer as i walk pass this is the only time i realize i am black and this has always been this way i was rasie to be smart not just being black i am no diferent then any other domme here and i know all expect me

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/8/2006 6:20:58 AM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Hello PhDslave..
 
I do not know about profiles, because I rarely read profiles, but personally, I enjoy the light-hearted, realistic approach my black domme friends take towards the lifestyle.  They do have a quality to their characters (confidence, humor, no-nonsense) that many white dommes lack. 
 
No offense to the white ladies here- after all, I am white myself, hence the name. lol

_____________________________

Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/8/2006 5:06:37 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhDslave

... "How does my background influence my perceptions, techniques and attitude regarding BDSM in general and my dominance in particular?"...



...would not have been a bad forum topic. But obviously that isn't what you wrote.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/8/2006 6:48:46 PM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		 

Half a century after landmark civil rights legislation and we still feel defensive or uncomfortable talking about race.

"How does MY background...?"  is a question that I thought would naturally occur to people from this thread.

I sometimes wonder how Dominant Women's perceptions are molded by their upbringing. Someone growing up in a religious family vs. an agnostic or nonreligious one, or in  a rural area in contrast with an urban one or from  a wealthy background vs a poor one.

There's no 'right' or even standard answer(s). Twins growing up in the same environment can, and often do, react very differently to the same stimuli. Perhaps, though, we could still detect commonalities in those raised in  similar circumstances?

I'd be especially interested in hearing from non-U.S. ('overseas' to the more nationalistic Americans  among us ) Dommes. Do you sense any ...can't think of the right term....divergence among Dommes of different countries? A different perspective? Different concerns? Btw, an answer of "No, no difference at all "  is perfectly acceptable. I'm not seeking differences where none exist.

To kickstart the discussion: I've talked with any number of people from foreign countries and almost to a person (i.e. man, woman, vanilla, kinky) they say that Americans are generally more materialistic than most.

Have you noticed that?

 

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/8/2006 10:11:51 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I will say this much.  The dominant female lifestyle seems a natural fit for many black women.  And yes, I am stereotyping.  I serve a black woman, and when I brought this up to her, she had to agree.  Many black women have quite a bit of sass and attitude.  They're halfway to being slave trainers from the word go.


Yup... black women are bossy...

How's that for a politically incorrect stereotype? ...

Now... back to my vodka...

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 9:45:11 AM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		Well, of course, I can't speak to stereotypes at all.  I have been asked if "all Norwegian men have big dicks", and I just don't honestly know.  I guess if I had an opportunity to compare mine at 19 inches (soft by the way...last time I got an erection they actually had to run a blood drive on all three local channels...but that's another story entirely), I could answer some of these more prurient questions...but...I guess until that opportunity arises, we'll just all have to wonder.

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 9:47:40 AM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhDslave

I've talked with any number of people from foreign countries and almost to a person (i.e. man, woman, vanilla, kinky) they say that Americans are generally more materialistic than most.

Have you noticed that?



I don't think I'd feel comfortable answering that question unless I was being paid for my time.

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 11:57:35 AM   
DivineDarkDiva


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline 		Dear PhDslave:

I thank you for the interesting and, might I say, complimentary post.  I list what I do in a profile because I've had to field so many questions about my dominance, my preferences, my limitations and have gotten so many inquiries that it's far easier to give a prospect some honest idea of what I'm looking for from the beginning.  I don't indicate employment requirements as that isn't a huge concern, being self-sufficient, and not seeking a meal ticket.  I'm busy, as are many of the men who read our profiles, and it's a time-saver to lay out certain things from the beginning.  I believe giving as much honest information as possible serves both the domme and prospective subs.

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 12:31:41 PM   
DivineDarkDiva


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline 		Mistress Wolfen:

We live in a country driven by race, so the fact that one sees some things peculiar to one race or another isn't far-fetched or racist.  Of course, if it were some stereotypical comment, or a negative, I might not respond with a cavalier "aye" for the OP's perception.  After all, his comment worked to my favor, which comes rarely enough.  However, if he had spoken to a positive of any other group, I doubt I would have taken issue with it. 

In addition, since he only voiced an opinion about a tendency of some [not all] to list some things on a profile, I don't see how that is going to affect his LTR with a woman.  If his preference is toward Black women, and he finds things to esteem in some Black women, that works toward his good.  If his preference is not toward Black women, but he finds things he admires in them, how does that take away from the women of his preference?  If he said Selma Hayek is a beautiful woman, I am not diminished because she is a Hispanic beauty.  I, too, am beautiful.  I simply acknowledge that there are attributes to admire in all people, and I find there is beauty wherever I turn. 

(in reply to MistressWolfen)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 12:54:45 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DivineDarkDiva

Mistress Wolfen:
We live in a country driven by race, so the fact that one sees some things peculiar to one race or another isn't far-fetched or racist. 


You could well be right DivineDarkDiva, I have lived in the United States of America and concur that it does face some very deep seated segragation issues, I do not know the country well enough to conclude that it is driven by race. I however do not live in a country driven by race, and also have the (mis)fortune of claiming a rather diverse personal genetic makeup so am quite comfortable in responding from that locus.

I am pleased that you considered it a positive and validating post, I believe I very carefully owned my opinion when I made that statement and I respect yours that it will not effect his LTR's. It was not his admiration of one group that disturbed me, it was his segragation and by implication dismissal of other groups.

Unlike yourself I am not beautiful, although I do enjoy beauty in others; I admire intelligence, followed by compassion, in people. Yes, beauty can be found in most if not all environments, but I would forward not in all people or situations.

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to DivineDarkDiva)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 3:55:16 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cacodylic
Obviously we're not reading the same set of profiles...
I think that not only are you not reading the same profiles, you're also not making inferences as to why black fem domme profiles might be reading the way he perceives them ("more realistic")...  Or maybe I'm the one inferring.   Anyway, I will add that I don't read a lot of dominant profiles of any race, but having read different profiles, I don't find African American ones standing out as more fantastical/realistic/sublime/extreme, etc... 

Wiitwd is based on the non standard way of doing things, so the extent to which one engages in power exchange or play, or the type of relationship one seeks is a singular factor for every single person.   To try and infer the reasons based on social types/stereotypes might be limiting to the reader/OP in my opinion.   I had not replied to this OP previously because it reminded me of a guy who wrote to me explaining how he understood my background and therefore my reason for wanting to dominate/own a slave...  I was never more insulted, told him exactly what I thought, than blocked him.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to cacodylic)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 4:05:36 PM   
DivineDarkDiva


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline 		Mistress Wolfen:

From your thoughtful posts I believe you must indeed be beautiful -- which I by no means limit to the physical.  Thank you for the discourse.

(in reply to MistressWolfen)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 4:29:54 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for your gracious compliment DivineDarkDiva, I truly enjoyed reading your thoughts and look forward to your future posts.

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to DivineDarkDiva)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/9/2006 11:42:07 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Wiitwd is based on the non standard way of doing things, so the extent to which one engages in power exchange or play, or the type of relationship one seeks is a singular factor for every single person.   To try and infer the reasons based on social types/stereotypes might be limiting to the reader/OP in my opinion.   I had not replied to this OP previously because it reminded me of a guy who wrote to me explaining how he understood my background and therefore my reason for wanting to dominate/own a slave...  I was never more insulted, told him exactly what I thought, than blocked him.   M

M, that's what I got that was *inferred* by his post.  There was some message underneath of it and his "impression" of the profiles was undoubtably driven by something within his own kink closet.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/10/2006 12:14:04 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		I just had to chime in on this one.

Personally, like BlkTallFullfig, I don't really tend to peruse the profiles of other dominants. But on the few occasions that I have encountered profiles from female dominants, I can't say that I noticed a great disparity between dommes of either ethnicities. I've run across profiles that are pretty lame from all ethnicities while at the same time I've also ran across genuinely sincere profiles regardless of race.

I encounter MORE than my fair share of submissive males seeking to serve a *black domme*.. and it seems that they place their sheer desire to serve a *black domme* above seeking to serve a *quality* domina. Now true, the two can be one in the same, but not always. These are the guys I call 'cocoa chasers'. They'll serve anything black, with a pussy and a whip and could give a rat's arse if she was actually worth serving above and beyond the colour of her skin. These guys tend to be the Obeah or Black Supremacy types of servants.

Then I encounter males that truly have an appreciation for Ebony women. Our hair, our skin, our blunt straight forwardness, inner strength and even our figures. These are the males I don't mind allowing to serve me. However, if someone PURELY wants to serve me to be racially humiliated or solely because he views me as a black domina first and foremost then he can move right along to the next whip kitten he encounters.

I liken it no different than people preferring to date interracially. If someone is attracted to black women in their *vanilla* (lol no pun intended) lives then it would stand to reason that they would seek a woman to serve that epitomises his ideal standard of beauty.

I have had only two males that TRULY left a rather stale taste in my mouth approach me in regards to servitude & race.

The first creature approached me asking what was my motivation for being in the lifestyle. When I told him he says something to the effect of "oh come on, you can be honest with me, you want retribution because your ancerstors were slaves".. LOL I  was like WTF?.. First off I'm only half black.. the other half is cuban.. so does that mean I'd only want to kick HALF of his ass on behalf of the part of me that has slave ancestors? Of course that part of my heritage does impart a sense of strength  YET it's not the impetus for my dominance.

I wonder if he approaches white dommes asking if their real  reason for wanting to be domme is because of her abusive ex husband or something or a secret hatred of men?. Everyone has a reason why they are in this lifestyle for whatever reason. So his comment pissed me off to be quite frank.

The second creature was german (as most of my slaves are european).. and he wanted to serve a black domme. Whenever someone approaches me with that specific stipulation, I always ask *why* do you want to serve a black domme? Inevitably they shoot themselves in the foot with their answer. On occasion their heads are in the right place and then we go from there. To my question, this german male proceeded to tell me that he finds blacks to be inferiour and it would be the ultimate humiliation for him to have to subjugate himself to a black domme.

Now THAT dickhead got the ass chewing of a LIFETIME.. albeit eloquently. After I was done chewing him yet another hole to poop from he proceeded to apologize and tell me that he couldn't serve me because of my obvious intelligence and that he doesn't view me as *inferiour* to him anymore. Darn, I guess I f**ked up his little fantasy. He says it wouldn't be as humiliating for him to submit to someone he didn't view as inferiour to him.

Everyone has their own little clandestine motivations and hidden agendas for anything they do. Some people are just better than others at hiding them. Personally, I didn't take offense to what the OP asked. And in some offhanded way, I know what he's talking about.

O.K.. time to slink back into lurking.

-Goddess



_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/10/2006 3:18:02 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

I  was like WTF?.. First off I'm only half black.. the other half is cuban.. so does that mean I'd only want to kick HALF of his ass on behalf of the part of me that has slave ancestors? Of course that part of my heritage does impart a sense of strength  YET it's not the impetus for my dominance.


So you're the sassy one that Schwartzenegger had to make an apology about, huh? LOL

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women - 9/10/2006 3:40:47 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings woflen
 
it was not racsit for him to preferr black dommes! why did you think this. many white submissive and slave write to me becasue i am a black domme i do not think this is wrong they had a feeling for black domianant women, i do not still see this as raist he did not say anything wrong like " oh i like that black &*^^% or anything like that. raist is this woflen someone who called me the n word and that hurt more then i ever thought and this was not a submissive it was a elelmarty school teacher i worked with. that is racism at the highest level to ask for a black domimant male or female is ok i find i am treated so well and i too rather be with a white submissive myself some may not like this for reason i do not know but i think if we are happy with whom we choice it is ok he is not a racist he is a man who like black women
 
mons

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 40
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