raiken
Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PavlovTrainer First, I've never understood lack of communication between a Dom/Master and his sub/slave. I've listened to sad tales of long periods of no correspondence or phone contact and I'm just flabbergasted by that phenomenon. When I have a girl, I tell her that if she doesn't hear from me at least once a day, call the hospitals because I'm probably in a coma. Now I'm a firm believer in Shit Happens, but it needs to be some really serious shit to keep me from letting my girl know what's going on. If lack of communication is what some slaves wish to subject themselves to, or put up with, or settle for, or believe that this is what being a slave is for them, or it simply floats their boats, then hey, who am i to judge? We are all adults and are responsible for our choices and their outcomes. i for one would not do well in such a situation. i believe that daily communication in some form is needed to foster a healthy connection, built upon mutual respect and trust. Without communication there isn't much of a connection now is there? i would feel less valued if i were to be ignored or neglected and left to wonder whats up all the time. i definitely would not feel connected. However, for some this is what they seek, and for others, it is a methodology some dominants may use as perhaps a test or training of some sort. There are many varied reasons why a dominant may choose to do this with a sub/slave, just as there are many varied reasons why a sub/slave would subject themselves to this type of treatment. It may or may not appear to be healthy from the outside looking in, but only those involved can make that judgement call for themselves. Second I was reading the ad of a submissive who refuses to speak to any Dom/Master who would want her to quit smoking or lose weight. What struck me is that I want to own my girl for a very long time. That means that I want her to be as healthy as humanly possible. Obesity and smoking are 2 of the most dangerous things one can do to their body. I look at the behavior and habits of the girl that I'm involved with and make adjustments as I see fit and as negotiated. In this situation for me, it would be about obedience. How far i am willing to surrender and obey, or do i really want, or am i really ready and able to quit my addictions, etc. For when dealing with addictions, it changes everything. If a Master or dominant does not have the time, energy or patience, or care enough about the other person to go for the long haul, and wish to go through this process of helping someone quit their addictions, then simply move on. The person who is addicted has to be a very willing particpant or it won't work. To help a person quit an addiction, goes way outside a preferred lifestyle dynamic. One has to be able to find the root cause of that addiction, in order for the person to put it out of their system once and for all, and not fall back into it again. Not always an easy task, for many times the addiction is born from lack of self esteem, self value, or some other emotional issue. Much nurture and understanding has to be in place, and the sub/slave has to truly WANT the help of the dominant and be compliant and willing to go the distance for both themselves and the relationship. If not, it is a waste of time for all involved. I look forward to your responses. Pavlov
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