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First Contact... so now what? - 9/19/2006 6:53:48 PM

WhyteRavenne

Posts: 125
Joined: 9/16/2006
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You've made your contact, you have gone through the emails of people telling you to bend over and take it.. and finally found someone you have a slight connection with.

When does it happen, on average? I KNOW there is no magickal number of emails or lines, or WORDS that have to be processed before you move to the next step, but I would like to know others opinions.

How do many of you go to the next step? Emails? Phone calls?

I move fairly fast, myself. I have too much to juggle to sit in front of my computer desk for hours and days before I feel I know someone enough to add to my msn list, I usually add them within a few emails and go from there. MSN you can at least tell EVERYONE you are busy at once, without having someone think you are ignoring them!

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Last night, you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.... do it again! - Morticia Addams

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/19/2006 7:12:23 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It happened pretty quickly with my slave and I. I don't know that that is the norm. I suspect not.

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/19/2006 8:20:51 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

For some I negotiated with I spent 2 year's communicating with them before first meeting.
Never anything prior to 6 month's that way I could quiz them over and over for the lies they
were telling me. If you ask the same question enough times you find out it is a lie if indeed it
is one.
When I met Doug....he had my phone number within a week. We met in person 3 month's later.

So, just really depends on the feel you have for the person. Are they safe..etc.

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/19/2006 9:10:11 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

greetings ravene
NOT UNLESS ITS SOMEONE I KNOW AND I KNOW LITTLE

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/19/2006 9:10:11 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

Personally I move from online to chatting on the phone rather quickly. First off there are too many online who are fake ~ in oh so many ways. If there is not the opportunity for an open connection from the start then my red flags start waving and waving fast.

After talking on the phone it depends on many things, one of the major factors has been whether they are local or not. If local then I meet for coffee rather quickly as well.

I truly you cannot tell what the true connection is until you have met in the flesh.

Owned

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/20/2006 9:52:47 AM

Dommeseeksone

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/4/2005
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I find that I move to messenger rather fast. It is easier than emails. Then if I feel a cognection to phone. I have also found that having them strt journaling to me daily and emailing it to me also helps. It alows me to compair things. I never rush thing but do not really have a time schedule either. It is a matter of learned instenct. We all get played from time to time. But it makes it all the more sweet when you do find the true ones.Just be carful and be sure and ask lots of questions. And as was already said ask the same questions more than once. Look for inconcistoncies. I have also been known to inlist the aid of other Dommes help in testing a slaves senseity. I have had them contact them if they give differant answers to them then we both know he is playing games. I have found that forming a network saport of friends can be a helpful way to protect yourself.

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/20/2006 8:51:46 PM

WhyteRavenne

Posts: 125
Joined: 9/16/2006
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I could put this on another thread.. but, I'll ask it here.
What questions do you like to ask?

I tend to be more a listen and see what they tell me, then ask the questions to confirm it at a later date. I also babble incessently (I'm sure I'm way off with the spelling there). I happen to enjoy talking about myself, my life and what I enjoy. Yep, I'm vain. I also am very careful to bring up little hints that I am not without protection. I've been in this life a long time, but, am always interested in finding different views.

You are all sexy! Stay that way!

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Last night, you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.... do it again! - Morticia Addams

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/21/2006 2:31:42 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Not sure that your topic is going to get the replies it deserves here in the health section!

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/21/2006 3:21:22 AM

UnvailedPurpose

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/24/2006
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As I read all the precautions manipulations and defensive the ladies mention I am caused to remind myself even more clearly defined discernments are the responsibility of the male submissive or slave.

The following is a response I made on another posting but similar topic.
I think it is important to remember your offering is of monumental value and should come with stipulations and challenges. Challenged that define the content of character, ethics integrities experiences and expertise’s. That in your quest to determine if these qualities exist and to what depth, you should indeed require of yourself interaction with the largest possible number of counterparts provided you make pristinely clear your course of action and intent.

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/21/2006 4:07:42 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

with my D, we moved to messenger after one email extange.

had a few conversations, then a late night meeting after last call. Met, said "hi" smoked a joint, and He left.

One or two online convos after that a few weeks apart, i wasnt sure if He was my type [Phd Comp Sci student] then we hung out again one more time, and havent parted since.

Ordinarily, i would not have met so late night, and not in public, but we had mutual friends.

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RE: First Contact... so now what? - 9/22/2006 1:30:04 AM

srllile7

Posts: 75
Joined: 3/30/2006
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Hmm for me I have just meet two people from the Internet and both from this site. The first, within a month of our first email, we were meeting in person. The second and the Dom that I am with now, we chit chated on im as friends for a good 4 months, then moved to phone calls and finally this past weekend meet in person roughly 6 months after the first email. I have to say I honestly enjoyed the extended time more. I trust my Dom now TONS more then the one I spent only a month getting to know. But definitely could not handle years of chit chat by any means. Patience is definitely not a virtue i have achieved at this point.

As for questions I ask EVERYTHING from how many bdsm partners they've had, to how many times a day they feel the need to scratch their noses. Okay maybe not that exact but still I love to talk and communicate and I dont feel any question is to silly or menial to ask. I mean beyond that point if I am looking to be submissive to and serve this person in a relationship then I feel it is important to know as much about them as possible, because who knows I may just find out in all my questions some wired never thought of deal breaker that I would of noticed right off the bat in person but it had never really dawned on me to ask about in a getting to know you conversation.

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