LAMPedge
Posts: 24
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
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Here is something to think about, and just to think about. It is an extreme viewpoint, and likely does not apply to the reader, it is just some musings I have had over the last 10+ years encountering and studying polyamory and polyamorous relationships. And let me make it perfectly clear that I am not critical of polyamorous situations or people in them, I am just speaking from my own personal experiences with polyamorous individuals I have met in my life.
In over 10 years, I have never personally witnessed and been able to verify a long-term polyamorous relationship in which noone ever felt like they were getting "less" than another member of the relationship. I have never seen a situation in which everyone was 100% satisfied with the relationship (then again, I have rarely if ever seen a monogamous relationship like that either :) ). What I have seen is a man (or occasionally woman) who was selfish and greedy and wanted everything he or she could get and more (i.e.: have your cake and eat it). While selfishness is to a degree expected in a Dom/me, greed rarely if ever is, and that is what polyamoury looks like to me, having seen it tried and failed so many times (many dozens of times).
What always needs to be asked is, why does the one person need the many? What is it that they need or want that one sub or slave cannot provide? Or does he or she really need it, or just want it, and try to get it because he or she knows they can get it, because the current partner will do anything to please his or her Dom/me? i.e.: If they can get away with it, they will. To me this seems unhealthy, because a Dom/me's ultimate responsibility is to the health and welfare of Hir or Her sub/slave(s). Now, I am told over and over again that this is just not so, but every single time I am told this, it is not long after (months, weeks, even days) that the polyamorous relationship breaks up. Is it because I introduced an element of doubt into a healthy relationship that would have been fine if I had not interfered? Well, if it was so healthy, how come the One could not convince all of the many that everything was fine, calm their fears and doubts, and get things back in order? Someone is lying there, to themselves and/or others, because they want to believe it so much. Again, this is what I have seen, and is by no means definitive.
Now I honestly and truly would welcome any proof that polyamoury really works in the long term, I believe it has great potential, but there is a quote that goes like this, "Communism looks good on paper, and it would work great if it weren't for the fact that it has to be implemented by human beings."
I should also make a distinction between a Dom/me or Master/Mistress who has more than one sub/slave that they train, but only one who is their personal life partner, lover, whatever, because that is not the sort of deep, meaningful, loving relationship that polyamoury (love many) implies...nay, indicates.
Of course I entertain contrarian viewpoints, indeed I enthusiastically welcome them, and would truly love to be proven wrong, but it will take a lot of convincing and verification to overcome more than 10 years of observations and cynicism.And I fully expect to be flamed, ridiculed and abused over this post, but nevertheless, I believe it to be a valid viewpoint whether or not it is accepted. To date, it has not been satisfactorily disproven.
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